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Chapter Thirteen

The full moon is a week away.

Sully was right.

I can feel it pulling at my blood like an invisible tide, calling to the wolf part of me.

The sensation is strange, not painful exactly, but an insistent dull ache.

There is the constant awareness that something primal and unstoppable is coming.

As if my urges weren’t bad enough, now I have the moon fucking with my hormones.

This takes my “monthly visitor” to a whole new level.

Too bad there isn’t a pill to stop the cramping.

I stand near the edge of the woods on the Devine estate, far enough from the main house that I can see the stars clearly in the night sky.

The snow has melted, leaving behind dormant grass and mud.

Magical protection shimmers faintly throughout the property, visible now to my enhanced senses.

It’s faint, like glowing dust in the moonlight.

I’ve spent my entire life inside these barriers, safe from the supernatural world that now courses through my veins.

Or so I thought.

Being supernatural, I don’t feel the magic holding me back.

It seems more like something to keep things out.

It occurs to me my human childhood wasn’t as protected as I assumed.

A twig snaps behind me.

I don’t turn.

I already know who it is by scent, earthy and wild, with an undertone of leather and pine.

“You’re trespassing,” I say.

Sully chuckles, the sound low and rumbling.

“The Devine wards don’t keep out those who are invited. I’ve heard rumors of your family’s parties. And you call us the animals.”

I turn to face him.

He looks different tonight, more contained.

The wild energy that usually surrounds him is focused.

He wears a simple black t-shirt that stretches across his massive chest and shoulders, and dark jeans.

His beard is trimmed shorter, and his eyes gleam with purpose.

“And who invited you?” I ask, though I already suspect the answer.

“Your brother.” Sully nods toward the main house, where lights still burn in several windows.

“Anthony seems to think we should talk before the moon rises.”

Nope.

That’s not who I would have guessed.

I would have said Mortimer did it in hopes that Sully would kill off the family problem.

“Anthony should mind his own business,” I mutter, but there’s no real heat in my words.

I know my brother means well, even if his methods are questionable.

“He’s worried about you. Enough that he met with me in a dark alley.” Sully takes a step closer, his movements measured as if he’s trying to intimidate me.

“He’s worried about what will happen when the call comes.”

The call.

“You already feel it starting, don’t you? The pull of the full moon on your werewolf’s blood. What will happen when it reaches its peak? Will you be able to control yourself, or will you become the monster everyone fears?”

I swallow nervously at his telling words.

I’ve felt echoes of it already, growing stronger each passing second.

“I’m handling it,” I say, more confidently than I feel.

Sully gives me a knowing look.

“Are you? Do you think the goblins would agree?”

“That was different.” I cross my arms defensively.

“Leviathan sent them to attack. I didn’t go looking for them. I was defending myself.”

“Ah, yes. The necromancer.” Sully’s lips twist in distaste.

“Another complication we don’t need.”

“We?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Last I checked, Leviathan was my problem.”

“He’s a problem for anyone who stands with you.” Sully steps closer, his massive frame blocking out the stars behind him.

“And whether you like it or not, that includes your pack. A threat to one is a threat to all.”

I sigh, looking past him toward the distant tree line.

I’m trying to look brave, but I am very aware of where he is standing.

His speech about pack loyalty is all well and good, but I’ve learned nothing comes free.

For that loyalty I would have to give up my freedom and control to run with the gang.

“I’ve told you I’m not interested in leading your pack.”

“ Our pack. The sooner you accept that you’re one of us, the better it will be for you. And whether you want it or not, some still believe you’re our best hope.”

“Tell them to take a number,” I drawl sarcastically.

“My dance card is full.”

He frowns.

“What the hell is a dance card anyway?” I wonder.

“And why are they always full?”

“Hey, this isn’t a joke.” His voice drops lower.

“The Alpha’s blood runs in your veins, Tamara. That means something to werewolves.”

“It means he tried to kill me,” I counter.

“It means I’m a hybrid freak that shouldn’t exist.”

Sully’s eyes flash gold, shining eerily in the darkness.

I wonder if my eyes are doing that.

“It means you’re powerful,” he says, “and power is what the pack needs right now.”

I turn away, frustrated by his persistence.

“The pack needs a leader who understands them, who knows their ways and their traditions. That’s not me.”

“Some would disagree.”

“Some would be wrong.”

A howl cuts through the night, distant but clear.

I shiver and rub my arms.

“Sully, tell me, honestly, what happens when they realize my loyalties will always be split between vampire and wolf? That I feel the pull to my vampire sire as strongly as I feel the pull of the moon and tides? Sometimes more so.”

My words seem to have an effect on him, and I know he gets my point.

“If werewolves don’t want to be the bottom of the rung of the supernatural hierarchy, they don’t need an Alpha whose blood demands obedience to a vampire.”

“We’re not in disagreement,” he says.

The first howl is joined by another, then several more, until the air vibrates with their call.

The sound stirs something inside me, an answering hunger that makes my skin prickle and my teeth ache.

Sully watches me closely, noting my reaction.

“They’re gathering. The leadership trials begin tonight.”

I try to ignore the pull to join in, focusing instead on keeping my breathing steady.

“Good luck with that.”

“Normally we’d wait for the full moon, but the council’s… We’ll call it their interest in werewolf politics. It has demanded we do this now before they arrange another fate for you. Otherwise, there are some in the pack who will doubt the new Alpha and will think we were robbed of our true leader.”

What he’s saying makes sense.

I can see why he’d be so persistent about it.

“You need to be there,” he says.

“Even if you don’t intend to compete, your presence matters. The pack needs to see what you choose.”

“I’ve already made my choice clear.”

“Have you?” He circles around to face me again.

“Because refusing to show up sends its own message. It says you think you’re better than them. Above their concerns. Do you really want your own pack turning on you?”

“That’s not?—”

“It’s how they’ll see it,” he puts forth.

“Werewolves respect strength, Tamara. They respect those who face challenges head-on, not those who hide behind spells and potions in mommy and daddy’s dollhouse.”

The accusation stings because there’s truth in it.

I have been hiding, trying to control my new nature with Astrid’s concoctions and Zephronis’ magic.

But the full moon won’t be denied, and neither will the wolf in my blood.

“What exactly happens at these trials?” I ask, my concern getting the better of me.

A smile spreads across Sully’s face, revealing teeth that seem just slightly too sharp for a human mouth.

“Come and see for yourself.”

“I’m supposed to be imprisoned,” I look back at the house nervously.

“I don’t think the council wants me to leave.”

Sully’s grin widens and he leans closer.

“Do you see the council anywhere? Do you see guards? Come on, Tamara, the only way to lock up a wolf is to chain it to the floor and even then those chains better be strong as hell.”

The abandoned steel mill on the outskirts of some backwater town seems an unlikely gathering place for supernatural creatures.

Though it’s close to the family estate, I’ve never been here.

And yet it’s somewhat fitting for werewolves battling it out to be Alpha.

Sully’s motorcycle rumbles beneath my ass as he drives us toward the rusted structures looming against the night sky.

They’re like the skeletal remains of some industrial beast lit by its funeral pyre.

Orange flames glow through broken windows that gape like missing teeth.

As we enter one of the buildings, I see the tangled remains of conveyor belts and machinery sprawled across the grounds.

There is also a strong stench of dust and burnt oil.

“Romantic spot,” I grumble as Sully stops inside the massive warehouse building.

“This isn’t a date. You smell too much like vampire for my tastes,” he answers.

“Besides, you’re not my type.”

I think of Costin.

I know he’ll come if I need him.

I feel his constant presence through our bond.

It gives me comfort…

kind of.

I don’t want him coming here.

Not with the sound of wolves flooding in the building waiting for us to join them.

Costin would try to fight every one of them to protect me.

He’s strong, but there are too many wolves.

“We’re not here for the ambiance.” Sully pushes open a heavy door that groans in protest.

“We’re here because it’s remote and the humans avoid it. The locals know to leave us alone.”

The moment we step inside, the atmosphere changes.

Like the werewolf den Costin took me to in the city, this one is a facade.

The abandoned building is transformed into a ceremonial stronghold.

Torches line the walls, casting dancing shadows across the vast space.

The floor has been cleared, creating a circular arena surrounded by scaffolding.

Werewolves climb the various levels, perching to watch our entrance.

The air hums with a wild, barely contained energy that makes my skin tingle.

The scent of sweat, blood, and excitement fills my nostrils and makes my heartbeat quicken.

My inner wolf stirs in response, pushing against the vampire for control.

“Easy, girl,” Sully soothes, noticing my tension.

“They’re just saying hello. No need to tear someone apart just yet.”

I look at my hands seeing the claws and fur pushing toward the surface.

I feel the stares like physical weight pressing down upon my head, most hostile, a few intrigued.

Whispers follow us as we move deeper into the arena.

I can’t tell who’s speaking.

There are too many of them.

“So this is the hybrid?”

“...that’s no queen of…”

“Thane’s blood...”

“What’s she doing here?”

“ That is our salvation?”

I keep my chin proudly lifted, refusing to show weakness even as the unease crawls along my spine.

The vampire in me calculates escape routes.

My eyes dart around, trying to assess the number of threats.

The wolf wants to assert dominance in the bloodiest of ways.

I force both instincts down, trying desperately to maintain my fragile balance.

Rhea detaches herself from a group near the center of the arena.

Her fading blue hair seems like it’s on fire in the bright torchlight, and her scars stand in stark contrast against her pale skin.

“Why did you bring her?” She doesn’t sound pleased.

“She needs to be here,” Sully answers simply.

“She’s one of us by blood.”

Rhea’s eyes narrow as she gives me a disgusted once-over.

Her voice rises as she sermonizes to the others.

“She may have our blood, but she’s not one of us. She’s an abomination. Besides, she’s made her choice.”

Some of the wolves cheer.

Others boo.

It’s difficult to tell if any are on my side.

They could just not like Rhea.

“Have I?” I challenge, tired of being talked about as if I’m not standing right there.

“Because everyone seems awfully concerned about decisions I supposedly made. How about you ask me?”

“You chose vampire,” Rhea spits the word like a curse.

“You reek of him and his preserved blood stores. You flaunt your sire bond with that bloodsucker while denying the call of your wolf.”

I step closer to her, ignoring Sully’s warning hand on my arm.

“I didn’t choose either. Both were forced on me. And I don’t need to flaunt anything. Can you say the same?”

“Your scent says otherwise.” Her nostrils flare.

I feel my fangs lengthen in response to her hostility.

“And you smell like wet mutt. We all have our cross to bear.”

A tense silence falls over us.

From the predatory stillness that settles over the gathering, I’ve crossed a line.

Rhea’s lips pull back in a snarl, her face beginning to elongate as her partial shift takes hold.

“You dare?—”

“Enough!” Sully’s voice cuts through the tension like a blade.

He steps between us, his massive frame blocking Rhea from my view.

“This isn’t why we’re here.”

“Then why are we here?” I demand.

The need to argue and yell seep out of my pores.

It would be so easy to let go and pummel Rhea to the ground to wipe the annoying smirk off her face.

“Because so far all I’ve gotten is attitude and accusations. I thought this is supposed to be my pack. If this is how you treat a sister, then Rhea is right, I don’t belong here.”

Sully turns to face me, his expression grave.

“We’re here because in seven days, the moon will rise full in the sky. When it does, every werewolf will feel the pull to shift, to run, to hunt. Including you.” He gestures around at the gathered wolves.

“Without an Alpha to guide the pack, that energy becomes chaotic. Dangerous. Those who want the position will be compelled to battle to the death. In the old days, we’d let that tradition play out. Unfortunately, that path will result in our strongest warriors dying. With the misbalance of magic and power right now, we can’t afford to be so careless with our numbers.”

“We can make more!” James yells inciting laughter.

I see how their rowdiness feeds off each other.

It would be so easy to fall into the frenzy, letting the mindlessness take over until all I am is rage and instinct.

I take deep breaths and force myself to calm down.

“We need our center,” Sully shouts before turning to tell me, “This needs to be decided.”

“I understand that,” I say quietly to him, more subdued now.

“But I don’t see how my presence helps.”

“Because some still believe you should lead us.” He nods toward a group of werewolves standing together on the far side of the arena.

Their hopeful gazes make me deeply uncomfortable.

Among them is Peter, Anthony’s childhood friend who had a crush on me.

He tries to smile, and I have to look away.

“They see your hybrid nature as strength, not weakness. They believe you could elevate the pack’s standing in the supernatural world.”

I follow his gaze back to them.

They don’t understand what they’re asking.

They see power not the constant struggle that comes with being a hybrid.

“And you?” I ask Sully.

“What do you think?”

His eyes meet mine, unwavering.

“I believe the pack needs a leader who understands what it truly means to be a wolf. We need someone who has lived it, breathed it, fully embraced it.” He frowns.

“That’s not you, Tamara. Not yet. Maybe not ever.”

His honesty is refreshing after so many hidden agendas and manipulations.

“What do you need me to do?”

“They need to hear it from you.” He nods toward the expectant faces.

“They need to know where you stand.”

A hush falls over the warehouse as more werewolves notice our conversation.

They gather closer, forming a loose circle around us.

I see James with his permanent snarl, standing with a group that clearly supports Sully.

There’s Rhea and her followers, hostile and suspicious.

And Peter and his wolves, looking at me with that uncomfortable mix of hope and expectation.

I take a deep breath, balancing myself.

Sully steps back, giving me the floor.

The torchlight flickers across the sea of faces watching me, waiting for my words to either unite or divide them further.

“I didn’t ask for Thane’s bite,” I begin, my voice unsteady.

“I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“No one is asked!” a voice shouts.

“This life chooses us!” another adds.

I feel their irritation.

“Boo-hoo I didn’t pick this,” Rhea taunts.

“She whines like a little bitch.”

They’re laughing at me now.

Fuck.

It pisses me off, but she’s right.

I do have a tendency to be all poor me and feel sorry for myself.

Also, fuck Rhea.

“Thane’s blood runs in my veins now,” I shout, “alongside vampire blood and my own human heritage. I am what I am. I’m something new, something that hasn’t existed before.”

Murmurs ripple through the crowd, but I press on.

“Some of you think that makes me special. That it makes me your destined leader.” I shake my head.

“It doesn’t.”

I could tell them that I’m still learning what I am, still finding balance between the different parts of myself.

Or that I can barely lead my own life right now, let alone a pack.

All of those things will sound weak.

There is only one language wolves seem to understand.

Strength.

“I will not compete for Alpha. I will not lead you.” My voice grows stronger with conviction.

The hopeful faces begin to fall.

I feel a pang of regret but push through it.

“But I will stand with you. I will fight alongside you if needed. I will honor the wolf blood in me, even as I honor the other parts.”

Silence follows my declaration.

I can feel the disappointment from some, the relief in others.

Sully watches me with an unreadable expression.

“So that’s it?” James calls out, his distorted mouth twisting in a sneer.

“You just walk away from responsibility? From your potential place in our world?”

“I’m not walking away,” I counter.

“I’m choosing my own path. Just as each of you should choose yours.”

“Pretty words,” Rhea scoffs.

“But it changes nothing. We still need an Alpha before the full moon.”

“Then choose one,” I say simply.

“Choose the one who understands you best, who can lead you through whatever challenges lie ahead. That’s not me and pretending otherwise would only hurt the pack in the long run.”

“Coward!” a woman yells.

“Liar!” another adds.

“This is a trick!”

Sully steps forward, commanding attention.

“The trials will proceed as planned. Those who wish to compete for Alpha will face each other in tests of strength, cunning, and leadership. The strongest will emerge to lead the pack through the coming moon and beyond.”

“And what of the hybrid?” someone calls from the scaffolding above.

“Where does she stand if not with us?”

Did I not just say I’d stand up for them?

I try to hide my growing annoyance.

They’re like talking to a drunk who doesn’t want it to be last call.

Nothing I say seems to get through their addled brains.

My emotions are only making the wolf in me edgy.

I meet Sully’s gaze briefly before addressing the crowd.

“I stand as what I am, not fully wolf, not fully vampire, but something of both. I won’t pretend to be something I’m not just to fulfill your expectations or prophecies.”

“You abandon us,” a young female accuses, her voice breaking with emotion.

She doesn’t look old enough to be here but then looks can be deceiving in the supernatural world.

The warehouse erupts in discussion, some angry, some thoughtful.

“I’m freeing you to find a leader who truly knows what you need,” I try to tell them, but no one is listening.

I don’t bother to add that I’m freeing myself from expectations that were never mine to begin with.

Sully raises his hand, and gradually the noise subsides.

“The trials begin,” he announces, leaping into the arena.

“Challengers, step forward.”

A wolf leaps into the circle to face Sully with a snarl.

His actions prompt several werewolves to move into the arena.

James stands aggressive and eager.

Rhea is confident and calculating.

Three others I don’t recognize, each carrying themselves with the surety of born leaders.

I step back, staying on the outer edge of the circle.

This isn’t my fight.

The first battle is chaos.

Cheers echo so loudly from the gathered crowd that I can barely hear the punches land.

It’s more a display of raw strength than bloodshed.

The challengers circle each other in the center of the arena, partially shifting to their wolf forms.

Muscles bulge, bones crack and reshape, fur sprouts along limbs as each competitor embraces their beast.

I hear the beating hearts around me.

It’s like a song calling me into the wild.

The sight stirs my own wolf.

I find myself eager to join, to test myself against the others.

I resist the urge.

I’m here to observe, not to participate.

Sully’s transformation is something to behold.

He flows smoothly into the partial shift, his body expanding with raw power.

His face elongates into a wolf’s muzzle and his eyes blaze gold in the torchlight.

He towers over the challengers, a perfect blend of man and beast.

The contest itself is controlled brutality.

Blood flows, but not freely.

This isn’t about killing.

It’s about proving superiority.

Sully charges at several competitors, throwing them out of the ring.

I hear their thuds as they crash into the warehouse walls behind me.

The gathered werewolves watch in rapt attention, occasionally howling encouragement to their preferred champion, and taunting those who don’t do well.

I have a feeling this night is only going to get worse.

Thank goodness I’m not competing.

I find myself strangely fascinated.

This is part of my heritage now, this primal display of power and dominance.

The wolf in me understands it on a level my human mind never could.

One by one, the lesser challengers yield until only James, Rhea, and Sully remain.

They circle each other, growling and snapping, looking for weaknesses to exploit.

“Get in there, hybrid!” A hand shoves me hard against my back.

I fall forward into the circle, stumbling before landing on my hands and knees.

Pain shoots up my unshifted limbs.

Springing to my feet, I instantly try to back out.

“Alpha! Alpha!” they chant.

They tighten their circle around the arena, pushing at me whenever I try to get out.

“Alpha! Alpha!”

A loud roar comes at me like a warning.

Sully crosses his arms, and I swear his shifted face smiles, as if this was all planned.

My heart is beating faster now.

This is not what I agreed to.