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CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

NASH

“So, Mom never knew?”

“No.” I kneel before Alena, sitting on the bed. “She never knew about Nadine, her sons, or what we do. It was too dangerous. It’s all I’ve ever cared about: protecting you from danger. But…”

My daughter’s tears kill me, and there’s only one way to stop them— tell the truth.

“But I’m not ashamed of what we do.” I confess, taking her hands, “We’re the beasts who kill the monsters, and we do it to keep girls like you … I mean, women, too … We risk it all to save them.”

“So Michael, my godfather, is really named Axel, and he’s Loch’s brother ?” Disbelief fills her eyes. “And Sire, my pastor, is his brother, too? And there are three others? They’re Loch’s five brothers, whom I’ve never met? And you’re telling me you’re sort of the Russian mafia, but you’re not? You’re like good mafia?”

I nod.

“Is that the lie Vale is so mad about?”

“No, and it’s not a lie.”

“Dad.” Her brows pinch. She looks just like her mother when she’s mad. “Quit being so cryptic and spit it out.”

Here it goes.

My soul lights a million candles now, praying I won’t lose my daughter over this.

“I told Loch to befriend you. To meet you and keep an eye on you to keep you safe. You moved up there to those goddamn mountains, and we have too many enemies who can come after you. So, I needed to find a guard to protect you.”

“You told Loch to befriend me?” She pulls her hands away.

“Yes. But I never told him to fall in love with you or ask you to marry him. In fact, I wanted to beat his ass for it.”

She tilts her head, searching my gaze. I’m staring down the Spanish Inquisition, but she’s my mirror. Alena has my eyes.

“You’re lying.”

I clench my jaw. “A little.”

“God. Fucking. Dammit. Dad!” See? She sounds like me, too. “Give it to me straight, and quit bullshitting.”

“Once I found out he fell in love with you and wasn’t backing down, I?—”

“You told him to marry me.” Tears spill over her dark lashes. She looks away, her chin quivering. “So it’s a lie. This wedding. Our marriage. Our love. It’s a lie.”

“No, Alena, it’s not. Loch loves you. He fought for you. Literally. He and Axel almost killed each other over you.”

Her glance darts to the floor. It’s odd, but I don’t know how to read her right now. I’ve never hurt her like this before. I’m just thankful she’s hearing me out.

“Axel told Loch if he loved you, he had to commit to you. He wouldn’t let him walk away and break your heart, and I…” I swallow, confessing, “I agreed. Nadine, too. I didn’t want your heart broken, and even more, I wanted you safe, and no one else, other than me, can protect you like Loch.”

Solemnly, she nods. “So he lied and became a ranger because you told him to.”

“No,” I shake my head, “he’s into all that nature shit, too. I mean it; he loves you. You’re a perfect match. And trust me, as your father, who still sees you as a little girl in animal pajamas crawling into my bed during every lightning storm, and not because they scared you, but because you wanted me to listen to them with you … I hate to admit it … but Loch loves you as much as I do.”

“No, he doesn’t,” she chokes. “Love is a choice, Dad, and you didn’t give him one.”

“A choice?” I huff. “I’m sorry, sweetpea, but you’re wrong. I don’t choose to love Vale. I can’t fight it; I just do and always will. And you don’t choose to love Loch; you just feel it. Right?”

“I can’t believe this.” She closes her eyes. Tears drip from her jaw. “I’ve lost my best friend and my fiancé in the same night.”

“Don’t say that,” I murmur, reaching for her hands again. “Vale loves you. She’ll always love you and…” Fucking tears. I blink them back. “It’s what I love about her most. And Loch, too. That goddamn shithead loves you, too.”

“Do you really love her, Dad?” She slants her eyes at me. “Like this isn’t some age-gap kink that’s going to run its course, and then I have to choose between my dad and my best friend? Because right now? I don’t like your chances.”

A grin tugs at my lips. I fight it. “Yes, I love her, and you’re not losing her as your best friend. I just need her, too. I need Vale in my life. I need to finally be free to love her. I want to marry her and give you a little sister with her and?—”

“Ewww.” She cringes. “One revolting image at a time.” Pause. “I mean … I love babies, but just…” Her shoulders sag with her sigh. “I want you to be happy. I hated how you were always alone, and Vale’s been so alone, too. Ever since her ex-boyfriend, Chad, and?—”

“Yeah, about Chad.”

She stops and reads my eyes.

“No,” she gawps.

I raise a brow.

“Dad,” she mutters. “You didn’t.”

“I did, and I’ll do the same for you. Even your precious Loch. If he ever hurts you, he’s fucking dead.” I brush a tear off her cheek. “But he wouldn’t, and that’s what I mean. Give him a chance. Hear him out. Nadine, too. There’s a lot to tell you, but start with him. Let him tell you his side of the story.”

“The wedding’s off.” A stern look takes her eyes. I’ve seen it in the mirror before. She’s not joking. “I’ll hear him out. And Nadine. But there’s no way I’m getting married this Saturday. Not like this.”

“But what about the pounds of shrimp I just paid for?”

She narrows her eyes. “ Daaaddd .”

“Kidding.” I just wanted my baby to smile. “Loch’s brothers will eat it all in an hour flat.”

Again, her gaze drops to the floor. “What did you mean about Michael … I mean Axel … fighting with Loch over me?”

“As much as I fight with Axel,” I explain, “I’ve always been the closest to him. Sire is like my big brother, but Axel’s like my twin. Like Vale and Blair, I guess. And so, Axel always took a shine to you.”

“A shine?”

“He always cared. He’s usually a dick to everyone but never to you. So, I asked him to be your godfather, and he takes it seriously. He almost beat the shit out of Loch when we found out about you two. Part of me knows he did it, so I wouldn’t. And he did it because he couldn’t help himself. He loves you, too.”

She nods, and more tears fall. “I need to talk to him.”

“He’s waiting right outside for you.”

She startles, then stammers, “Yeah. Loch. Send him in to talk to me.”

“Give him a chance.”

Silence.

“And please forgive me.”

She raises a brow.

“Okay. In time. I hope.” I cup my hands over hers. “Just please know, Alena, how much I love you. From the moment I held you in my arms, I knew why men wage wars. I will always fight for you. You’re my greatest gift and the reason I live. So please, try to forgive me one day.”

She chews her lip, staring me down. I see her fury, but I feel her love.

Goddamn, she’s my soul.

I kiss her hands. “You just have a fucked up dad who fucked up. And I’m sorry for hurting you. I really am. But I’ll never apologize for loving you and keeping you safe.”

Her big brown eyes are almost the same size as when she touched my cheek and first called me “Dada.”

They’re still the center of my world.

“Just get her back, Dad,” she insists. “So at least one thing will be right in my world again.”