Page 68 of My Solemn Vow (The Mafia Arrangement #1)

ANTONELLA

THE VIOLENT LITTLE THING

No sooner had I fallen asleep than I wake again.

Gasping for air, I scream, pain radiating through every part of my body.

Valor’s voice is loud, coming in stereo from around me. “Let her take you. Don’t fight. Relax. Breathe. Please breathe.”

My body bends and breaks.

Each breath I take is more and more excruciating. Stabbing pains shoot through my abdomen and along my spine. It’s agonizing. I want nothing to do with this pain.

I want nothing to do with him.

Grinding my teeth, I try to scream, but I can’t get air.

Nothing moves.

Everything refuses to move except for the shivering that’s overtaken my body from the cold in the dark.

He didn’t listen, didn’t defend me, and now I’m dying. Fuck. Valor.

But then my lungs expand. The world feels different. Brighter. Like the sun against my face. When I try to blink, I open my eyes to find the sun high above in the sky, and the ground beneath me is snowy and bright.

Pine trees are dusted in snow, and a thick blanket is on the ground beneath me. The gray sky isn’t even as ugly as it normally feels.

I’m no longer cold.

It’s glaringly obvious something is wrong. Something has changed. Everything is wrong, so very wrong.

The world doesn’t make sense. My body moves, but it isn’t my own. I have four limbs at different angles like a dog. A wolf.

What in the fever dream is this? No. Not a fever dream. I’m dead, gone to hell, and it’s frozen over. What unlikely event led to this? At least hell is pretty.

“Come on, princess.” I hear Valor’s voice again.

Ahhh, yes, all eternity listening to that nickname. The way he made me feel. It’s only fair to be tormented by him in death. I groan, fighting down the anger and the betrayal coming in waves. Eventually, I’ll learn how to ignore him. He’s less obnoxious than most second graders anyway.

“Try to stand. If you keep fighting her, it’ll keep hurting.” Valor approaches me from somewhere off in my side vision and kneels beside me. We’re practically nose to nose.

At least I know he’s not just an audio hallucination in death.

Pain and heartbreak pierce me. Every memory and the way he looked at me refreshes the physical pain that’s still so fresh in my mind and body.

My begging and pleading as I told him I didn’t know. His anger as he didn’t believe me. The physical pain superseded by the emotional as Neil plunged that knife into my stomach.

I try to speak, but the hallucination I’m caught in feels too realistic. I’m silent. Unable. Wolves don’t talk.

At least this time no one can hear me beg for mercy.

“Quit fighting your wolf.”

Just a hallucination. A shitty as fuck hallucination who is bound and determined to make even death miserable.

Valor hesitantly reaches out and runs his hand over my head. He huffs, inching closer, then he sighs out a massive exhale. “You need to stand. Come on. It’ll feel better once you move. Don’t overthink it. Don’t fight her. Just stand.”

‘Just stand,’ he says. ‘It’ll feel better,’ he says. I close my eyes and think upward, following the fever dream that’s apparently not actually hell.

My mind flashes back to that conversation. ‘To be gifted a wolf, you need to practically die.’ And now I’m here. I almost died in his basement, only to end up here. Wherever the fuck here is.

Trust me , a new voice says.

I open my eyes, turning to look around, but no one’s there. It’s just me and Valor out in what appears to be the middle of nowhere.

Valor cocks his head.

Relax and trust. I won’t ever let him hurt you again. We’ll tear him limb from limb. Her voice is strong. She feels ravenous, and I believe her.

I let go and just feel. My body moves, and it’s so freeing to take steps, walking away from him. It takes a minute, and soon I hear her voice again. Lead the way.

To think and to move is as easy as it seems. Two steps, then three, darting left and right. It’s a full sprint, running to destination unknown, leaving Valor in our past.

Until his large black wolf comes running up alongside me. I push to move farther and faster, but he’s constantly there, chasing. I turn hard, going back the way we came, but he spins alongside.

Just go the fuck away, I think.

Valor cuts in front of me, coming to a stop, forcing me to come to a full halt.

I try to walk past him, but he snarls at me, and the wolf in my mind snaps. She lunges forward, and our teeth sink into him, reaching for skin, but we come back with a mouthful of fur rather than blood .

It’s not enough for her. It’s not enough for me. We charge, surging forward once more, and when we connect this time, it pushes him to the ground, throwing him off kilter. Valor doesn’t fight back.

He lets the wolf within me, the wolf I’m within, get ahold of him at the neck by his shoulder. The taste of blood hits my tongue, filling my mouth. My jaw clamps down, pushing farther. But even then, Valor doesn’t fight back.

Attack after attack, Valor accepts the beating we give him. The pain we inflict on him until all that’s left of my energy is panting and wobbly feet.

I collapse to the ground, and when the darkness comes, with it comes peace.