Page 33 of My Solemn Vow (The Mafia Arrangement #1)
ANTONELLA
THAT AWKWARD MOMENT
Valor finishes rinsing off and steps out, leaving me alone in the warm, steam-filled, luxury shower to get clean.
Yesterday, it was easy to overlook the lack of clothes, phone, and personal belongings in general.
Gregorio refused to let me take my phone because, until the marriage was consummated, he didn’t want them to possibly get information they shouldn’t have.
The clothing and toiletries were one of his bullshit excuses that I didn’t want to waste energy arguing about.
But my selection of bath products is limited to his. Shampoo is shampoo.
I sigh and begin washing my hair. By the time I’m washing my body, my brain has taken over processing, trying to figure out the back-and-forth Valor brings and the way he takes command of my body.
Oh fuck.
Earth-shattering dread hits me, and I drop the washcloth. It splats as it hits the floor, and I crouch to pick it up.
I’m still stuck in my head as I finish showering, moving on autopilot despite the new surroundings. A warm towel is waiting for me when I step out of the shower .
Valor and I didn’t use a condom.
I came off birth control three months ago because the ring was the only one that controlled my symptoms, but it needs to be stored in the refrigerator.
I hid the small foil packages behind the condiments in the far back while I waited for the tiny fridge I ordered for my bedroom to be delivered.
But foolishly I picked the slower shipping option.
It wasn’t even four hours before Francesca started stress cleaning out the refrigerator and found the supposed evidence of my deviance.
She showed Gregorio, and the meeting with the priest was scheduled for after dinner — about how I shouldn’t be hindering the natural order of things or having premarital sex.
I can still hear Berto snickering like he doesn’t have condoms stashed in his room.
Fuck I’ll never pick slow shipping on anything ever again. It’s not like I couldn’t afford it. I didn’t want the delivery guys rushing.
Tears well up in my eyes, and I brush them away, but not before I see Valor standing against the bathroom counter.
“What’s wrong?” He, of course, doesn’t ignore it.
“Uhm.” I chew on my bottom lip. I can feel tension between us, but it isn’t expected. I wait for it to implode. “We didn’t use a condom, and I’m not on birth control.”
“Not an issue.” Valor is quick to answer.
Got it. I nod, not voicing the screaming thoughts in my brain. I’ll be pregnant before the school year ends. It’s okay. I’ve thought about kids. I’ll be happy when it happens. Gaslighting myself isn’t exactly working, but I try to calm myself down with it.
“It’s not an issue” — Valor cuts into my inner self-loathing — “because you can’t get pregnant with my kid.”
“What?” I narrow my eyes at him.
Please say this isn’t some sort of education system flaw where I have to have ‘the talk’ with him. He had Kerrianne, for fuck’s sake. He should know how pregnancy works .
He pauses as if trying to figure out how to say the words. “It’s physically impossible for me to get you pregnant.”
“Okay.” The words ‘I had a vasectomy’ would be more reassuring. “And that’s because...?”
Valor shrugs. “For all intents and purposes, at this time, I’m sterile.”
I don’t love the way he said that, but vasectomies are reversible, and maybe it hurts his manhood too much to say the words. I nod and let it go. The panic is still there, but I’m confident with reading between the lines.
“What else is on your mind?” Valor asks, stepping closer to me.
I dislike being naked, or only wearing a towel, when he’s still clothed. It’s becoming a trend, and I’m feeling more vulnerable.
“I would love if you could show me what is acceptable for me to use. I don’t want to step on your toes or get in your way.” I hate that I sound so weak and timid, but it would go a long way to have something that I can cling to for comfort.
He stops, our eyes locking, and he picks up one of my hands. “Don’t say that.”
I play my sentence back in my head but can’t decode what he’s trying to tell me. I look at our hands together, and he squeezes, drawing my attention back to his face.
“Whatever is in this house is for you to use.” He levels me with a glare. “You can’t get in my way or step on my toes. You’re my wife. I take that and all the responsibilities that come with it very seriously.”
Valor steps back and pulls me through to the closet. Much like the rest of the house, it’s massive. Custom built-ins line the walk-in closet, and Valor leads me to an empty section. He presses a button, and a wooden panel slides back, revealing a custom safe.
“Jewelry and valuables can go in here. Fireproof, waterproof, and if you lock it, theft resistant. Obviously, I’m using this portion of the closet, but I’m not attached to it. As long as I have a place to hang stuff, I’m fine with it.”
He steps away from me and pushes his palm to a portion of the wood nearest the door, and there’s a beeping sound.
“Hidden handprint scanner. You’ll find several throughout the house.
” Valor opens what I assumed were drawers for storage to reveal another safe.
This one, however, isn’t for jewelry and valuables.
It’s a weapon cache with a few handguns.
“It would be beneficial if my daughter has you as an added level of security. Even if you’re not comfortable with carrying daily, being able to take a gun in a crisis would be ideal. ”
I don’t argue that I know how to shoot. Now isn’t the time to start being sassy. He’s... being friendly and warm with me.
Valor closes the compartment and turns to face me before walking over to a set of drawers in the closet. “Do you have many things to move in?”
“I’m not big on material things. I do have a curated collection of clothes, a couple family photos, nothing big.”
I wonder why my stuff hasn’t already been dropped off. Maybe Gregorio D’Medici didn’t want to spend the time in hopes that Valor would kill me before any movers would be necessary.
Valor pulls out a pair of loose-fitting boxers, sweatpants, and then a T-shirt off a hanger before offering them to me. “Is it possible for someone in your family to box up your belongings?”
“They already are? I was trying...” I furrow my brow, and despite the little voice in my head saying ‘be complacent,’ the question bubbles out. “Is there a problem?”
“No.” He shakes his head.
Our hands brush as I take the clothing from him. Warmth floods through me again. Even my body seems to be doing a push and pull with him. I’ve never felt anything like this, and it’s confusing, to say the least. “I have to assume there is if you’re ask?—”
“Antonella, I don’t want my wife going back to Casa de D’Medici alone. The stupid fucking truce gives you access to their home — if I come with you — but if I walk in that penthouse with a loaded gun and see Gregorio D’Medici, I might shoot him in the face.”
“The feeling is incredibly mutual.” I stifle a laugh before walking out of the closet toward the bathroom again.
Valor follows me, and I catch him looking at me in the mirror. His eyes are wide like I’m growing a second head.
“What?”
“Is it mutual that Gregorio wants to shoot me or that you want to shoot Gregorio?” Valor seems so serious.
“I mean both are true, but I was mostly talking about me wanting to shoot Gregorio.” I sigh and pull at the end of the towel.
Valor stalks closer and carefully, with a hesitant touch to my shoulder, turns me. “What did he do to you?”
I tsk dismissively, waving him off, and shake my head while working the towel over my long strands.
Guessing he doesn’t have a blow dryer. Maybe in Kerrianne’s bathroom?
“He’s a shitty person. My parents died, and Gregorio did the noble thing of raising me with my father’s wishes in mind.
It’s the only reason I got to be a teacher and not a housewife. ”
“But also why you were his first choice to offer up as a tribute to the truce.” Valor pieces that together however he sees it to be true, but he’s also not wrong.
Even if I hadn’t called the truce, Gregorio would have continued to try and use me as a pawn in this game.
“I never want you alone with someone from your old life. You’ll always have me or one of our guards with you when you see them.” Valor cups my chin and tilts my head up toward him before placing a soft kiss on my lips. “I don’t trust them not to hurt you, and I don’t trust you to not take revenge.”
Never once had I considered the opportunity to be violent toward the D’Medici family.
With the truce in place, it would be dumb to put my life on the line like that.
It doesn’t matter, though, because Valor kisses me again, and this time, he dips his tongue into my mouth.
Butterflies take flight in my stomach, and I can’t believe how loving he’s being once again.
It doesn’t last because he withdraws.
“Kerrianne will be here soon.” He sighs like this pains him as well. “There’s a blow dryer in her bathroom until we get your things here. You can buy whatever you need that you didn’t have before. I know you’re not big on material things, but anything you need is yours.”
Valor doesn’t wait for me to object or remind him that if my stuff gets here, I’ll have everything I need. He turns at the door with one last look at me naked before walking off, I’m guessing downstairs, to wait for Kerrianne.