Page 5

Chapter Five

Men are the absolute worst liars. They do it so often you would think they would be good at it. But strangely the opposite is true. -Flora

I am not a girl’s girl. I’m not a guy’s girl either. I guess I’m just a me girl. I’ve been essentially alone since my parents died. Besides Sunny, girls have always been standoffish with me, or perhaps it was the other way around. I’m not sure. And as for men…you could safely say they have caused me a lot of pain in my life. A lot of unnecessary fucking pain.

That pain is what caused me to form a bond with a group of women for the first time in my life.

I glance around the cold, sterile room of the community center at the women I’ve come to call friends over the last year. Lily, in her pink cardigan and hair the color of sunshine; Frankie, the businesswoman who still comes into group meetings with fresh signs of abuse; Liz, our resident goth with black hair and nails; and finally, Darlene, the mom of the group who always wants to take care of everyone despite the fact that she has kids at home too. These women are all like me. They’re all survivors. That’s why when we do go out after an intense group session we call ourselves The Survivor’s Club. I had never joined a club before unless you called the cheerleading team a club. I call it a pack of wolves trying to eat their own sometimes. This group is not one anyone would particularly want to be a part of, but I’m damn glad they have my back.

I pour myself a cup of what they try to pass as a cup of coffee. The dark, muddy liquid looks like sludge in my cup.

“The coffee never gets better, does it?” Lily asks in her soft voice.

I wrinkle my nose. “Nope, never.”

She glances around and then chews on her bottom lip. I can tell she has something she wants to ask me about.

“Something you need to get off your chest, Lily?” I take a small sip and almost curse when the scalding liquid touches my tongue.

She twists her hands in front of her. Lily is so shy. I was surprised when I found out she was dating Dax, one of the football players. He’s sweet and all, but also funny and a little wild. They make a good couple though and anyone can tell they’re gaga over each other.

“I heard about the breakup with Tim. I just wanted to say I’m sorry things didn’t work out. I thought he was a good guy, but obviously he turned out to be a bit of a jerk. I heard he was seeing Sara behind your back.”

I raise an eyebrow. Lily doesn’t talk much, but she hears everything. “We weren’t really a couple so there was no breakup.” I shrug. “We just went on a few dates. I’m good.”

Lily places a hand on my shoulder. Her blue eyes are filled with empathy. “I just wanted you to know I’m here.” She gives me a small smile and looks around the room. “I know I’m not as fierce as Liz over there, but I can still knee someone in the balls if you need me to. We’re all sisters here.”

I chuckle as I think of sweet Lily kneeing Tim where it hurts. I wave her off. “I’m really okay. I’ve been through worse things, I promise.”

She squeezes my shoulder. “I know you have. We all have. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still hurt sometimes. We’re allowed to suffer from the little things too. Even survivors can have chinks in their armor.”

I nod, and then sigh. “I won’t lie. It hurt a little. I just wanted to be in a normal relationship. I guess I wanted to feel like I could be.”

“What happened to you in your past wasn’t normal, Flora. But you are normal, or as normal as normal gets.” She chuckles. “That sounds crazy, but there really is no such thing as truly normal. We’re all just trying to make it through this the best we can. I can promise you this though, my friend.”

I take another sip of the hot coffee and grimace. Damn me and my caffeine addiction. “What’s that?”

She indicates each woman in the room with a nod of her head. “I can promise you that having a friendship with these women is worth a hundred Tims. We’ve got your back no matter what.”

A small lump form in my throat. For ten years of my life, after my parents died, I felt like I could count on no one. Now, between Sunny and these women, I have the family I never thought I could have.

As I leave the community center that night, I glance around warily. A shiver sneaks up my spine. I feel someone’s gaze upon me. Lately, I’ve had this feeling a lot. The feeling that someone out there is watching, waiting. But oddly, the presence doesn’t feel menacing. It feels…protective. I shake my head as I get into my car. You’re losing it, Flora. Really starting to lose it.