Page 40 of My Only (My First, My Last)

Ayla exhaled, rolling her shoulders back. “I mean… I guess that’s okay , but damn.” Her gaze softened. “How are you feeling about it? Are you okay?”

I huffed, rubbing my face. “It was scary, honestly. I could’ve lost my job. I didn’t think she’d take things that far. You warned me, and I didn’t listen. I thought I had it all under control… I was wrong.”

Ayla shook her head with a knowing smirk. “Oh, I knew you had nothing under control and I also knew Harper was insane the minute I met her.”

I arched a brow. “Yeah?”

“ Mm-hmm .” She folded her arms. “Because anyone who says a D-Slam sculpture is must-have art ? That person is crazy. They need a full psych evaluation—like, yesterday.”

I kissed my teeth. “A, be serious for a second.”

“Shit, I am !”

“A!”

Ayla bit her lip, trying to fight back her smile.

I exhaled. “She was the reason I wasn’t there that night for your mother’s dinner.”

Ayla held her breath. I caught the flicker of something in her eyes—something she was trying to push back.

“The flooring issue…” I ran a hand down my lips. “I didn’t have to stay late for that.”

Ayla shut her eyes and shook her head.

“It was my fault.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not.” I reached out, cradling the side of her face, brushing my thumb along her cheek. “It’s not fine. I fucked up. I’m sorry.”

Ayla didn’t look away. “You did fuck up,” she admitted. “I won’t lie to you—you fucked up so bad, Hassani. But…” She exhaled, her voice softening. “There are worse things you could’ve done. So… it happened.” She shrugged. “And, yeah—it felt like a gut punch and a hit to the chest at the same time.”

Her jaw tightened slightly. “I cried so hard that night, baby…” She rolled her eyes, keeping the welling tears in. “I hadn’t cried so hard in so long… but, it is what it is now, Hassani.”

I scanned her face, searching for any lingering resentment. But all I saw was acceptance.

“…But for real?” Ayla added, narrowing her eyes. “If I see her ass in the street, I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep it cute. For her sake, I hope I can.”

I grinned, leaning in. “Why, Mrs. Franklin… is that the Brooklyn coming out?”

She laughed, her head tilting back in ease, and I couldn’t help but join in.

Once she’d sobered, she ran her fingertips over my chest. “No more not listening to me when I tell you stuff, okay? Especially about people. Okay?”

“Okay. No more.” I resumed absently stroking her leg, my fingers gliding along her skin. “I promise on everything I won’t ever do that again.”

Ayla’s lips curled into a sly grin. Her eyes gradually drifting down to my hand. “You’re gonna make this abstinence thing really hard, huh?”

I groaned, sliding my hand down to her lower back, pulling her flush against me. “Dr. Aldridge isn’t here though…” My lips brushed her ear. “She doesn’t have to know.”

Ayla busted out laughing, swatting my chest. “You better stop, Hassani! Be good—for me. For us.”

I sighed dramatically against her ear, then buried my face in the pillow with a growl.

That made Ayla laugh even harder.

I had no idea how we were going to do this. If she was still in the guest bedroom, maybe I’d survive. But right here next to me? In our bed? Yeah. She was killing me softly.

“I’m serious about following her advice, Hassani.”

I grunted into the pillow once more.

“Hey.” She swatted my chest again. “This was your idea to see this woman.”

“I didn’t think she was gonna cockblock, A.”

Ayla giggled. “She’s not cockblocking. She’s helping. And so far? I think it’s working. It’s only been two sessions, and we’ve already talked about things we never talked about before. Freely.”

“Yeah,” I remarked low. “Like you wanting a baby.”

Ayla held my gaze. She pressed a hand to my chest, and I exhaled.

A baby.

I had so much to make up for. So much I didn’t even realize I’d been missing. And now—this?

I wanted to give Ayla everything. Always. But this? This I needed to sit with. Shift my focus.

Because how the hell did I not see it? How did I not know?

Why didn’t I ask?

I swallowed, rubbing my temple. “I’m gonna need some time to forgive myself for that one, A. Boogie. Because how did I not know that?”

Ayla pressed her lips together and sighed.

The fact that she put her wants on hold for me… That would need to be a real conversation. And when we had it? I had to make damn sure it was at the right time.

She nudged me. “You remember when I used to call your phone in the middle of the night in high school?”

I smiled immediately. “How could I forget?” I chuckled. “My phone would ring at the craziest hours, and I’d have to snatch it up before my dad knocked on my door to ask…” I dropped my voice and deepened the accent, “ Who inna di bloodclaat ah phone yuh dis hour?!”

Ayla snorted, then burst into laughter. “But you always answered.”

“I always answered.” I nodded. “Because I knew you needed me… and I really liked being needed by you, baby.”

Her eyes watered. She pressed her bottom lip between her teeth like she was trying to hold back the weight of that moment.

“Transparent moment,” she murmured.

I focused on her. “Yeah?”

“Since we’re supposed to be communicating openly or whatever...”

I smirked. “Or whatever.”

She exhaled. “I was really bummed last year when we didn’t take our annual trip. And… I’m kind of bummed that we won’t be doing anything again this year.”

I nodded slowly. “Then we gotta fix that.”

She arched a brow. “How?”

I ran my fingertip along her delicate jawline, then pinched her chin. “When I went to Bryant to tell him about Harper, he told me I could take two weeks off.”

Ayla leaned back slightly, studying me.

“I just need to give him and the office a few days’ notice.”

Her face lit up with a smile. “Okay!”

“I was thinking about it on our drive back from Dr. Aldridge’s. After hearing her talk about everything we need to focus on this week…” I smiled. “I was thinking… a road trip.”

“A road trip?!”

“ Mm-hmm .” I licked my lips, sliding my hands down to pull her closer by the curve of her ass. “You, me, and nothing but the open road. In an RV.”

She scrunched up her face. “An RV?!”

“Yeah.”

“Like… camping and stuff?”

“Something like that.”

She rolled her eyes away, sighing dramatically.

“Oh, don’t do that.” I squeezed her ass, smirking. “You know I’m gonna make it dope. Come on now.”

Ayla fought back a smile. “I know.”

“You still trust me, right?”

Her eyes snapped to mine. She was nodding before I even finished my question. “I never stopped.”

“So trust this will be dope. You down?”

A road trip was something I’d been wanting to do for a while. With two weeks to ourselves, this felt like the perfect chance, not just to escape, but to reconnect. With my wife. With my friend… and to kill time while abstaining.

“Okay!” She squealed. “Let’s do it! Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Her face lit up even more, and damn, I wanted so bad to lean in, kiss her, roll her under me and sink into her warmth. But that damn rule...

I still wasn’t sure how this “friends first” thing was supposed to fix everything. How the hell was I supposed to be just friends with my wife again?

But the way Ayla was smiling right now? That glow? I hadn’t seen that in over a year. Too long.

Maybe Dr. Aldridge did know what she was talking about. Because this? This was the most excited I’d seen Ayla in a minute… and damn, it looked so good on her.

I took her hand and interlocked our fingers, lifting it to my lips to kiss the back of her hand. Then I gently pulled her closer, and she melted against me, settling against my biceps.

We hugged for a while, her fingers tracing slow circles against my back.

I lowered my lips to her forehead, leaving a simple kiss there.

And for the first time in a long time… I felt at home again.