Page 39 of My Only (My First, My Last)

I sighed, running a hand over my beard. “So, what exactly are you suggesting?”

She folded her hands in her lap. “No sex for at least two weeks.”

Ayla’s eyes shot wide. “Two, what?”

I damn near choked. “Two entire weeks?”

Dr. Aldridge laughed. “Yes, two weeks. It’s a temporary reset.

The goal is to rebuild your foundation through communication, quality time, and emotional connection.

I want you two to focus on intimacy in other ways.

Holding hands. Eye contact. Thoughtful gestures.

Having conversations that don’t end in…” She waved a hand. “… bed.”

Ayla and I stared at each other.

No sex for two weeks?

I tapped my fingers against my thigh, then dragged my palm over my mouth. I had no words.

Ayla, still blinking like she was processing, finally asked, “And… after the two weeks?”

“Then...” Dr. Aldridge smiled. “Back to your regularly scheduled programming.”

Ayla and I laughed.

“And we’ll evaluate after.” Dr. Aldridge smiled. “You two say you didn’t have disputes as friends, and while marriage and friendship go hand in hand, they aren’t the same. That said, I think you’d benefit from revisiting that foundation.”

I sat back in my seat, letting that settle.

“This abstinence isn’t about punishment,” she continued. “It’s about shifting your focus. Relying less on physical intimacy to smooth things over and more on real communication. You need to remember how to be just friends again—even if only for a little while.”

“I like it,” Ayla said immediately, tightening her arm around mine. “If it’ll help, then cool.” She smiled up at me. “I loved being just your friend.”

I exhaled. “I know. I did too.” Then I shot her a pointed look. “But I really love being your husband… especially at night after a long ass day.”

Ayla giggled.

“Like, I love to husband all over you. And a lot. Every night.”

She playfully smacked my arm. “Hassani!”

That made me laugh.

“But I’ll do it.” I kissed her forehead, my lips lingering a little longer. “ Whatever it takes.”

Half an hour later, our session was winding down, when Dr. Aldridge asked a question that caught me off guard.

“If you could say anything to each other, knowing you wouldn’t be judged, what would it be?”

I glanced at Ayla, who was already looking at me.

The answer was easy. I’d felt it ever since she said she wanted a divorce. And if we were here to be honest, then I had to say it.

“I feel like I’m failing you.”

Ayla released a shaky breath, her face softening into a frown. “You’re not failing me at all, Hassani.”

“But I feel that.” I nodded. “I felt that when you told me you wanted out.”

“I didn’t mean it.” She shook her head quickly. “I was pissed . Saying it was the only way I felt in control of something I had no control over. But I didn’t mean it.” Her lips quirked up slightly. “No take-backs, right?”

I nodded, my throat too tight to speak.

Dr. Aldridge turned to Ayla. “And you? No judgment.”

Ayla closed her eyes for a moment, exhaled, then opened them—meeting mine head-on.

“I want a baby… like, very much.”

My whole body tensed. I blinked hard, sure I misheard her.

“You do?”

Ayla nodded.

I sat up straight, my heartbeat hammering. I had purposely never brought it up, not wanting to be that guy pressuring her. I figured she’d tell me when she was ready. But she’d been holding this in? Why?

“I didn’t know that,” I spoke in a low voice, then turned to Dr. Aldridge. “I didn’t know that.”

Ayla’s voice softened. “I was afraid to bring it up because I didn’t want to disrupt your work on the project.”

“What?” I whispered. “My work?! Ayla. Nah, baby. Come on.” I pressed a hand to my chest. “You wouldn’t have disrupted anything.” My voice cracked as I exhaled. “A baby? You want a baby? Why wouldn’t you tell me that?”

I sagged my shoulders, trying to catch my breath.

How long had she been thinking about this? How many times had she stopped herself from saying it out loud? My wife—my best friend—felt like she had to keep something this big from me?

“A?” I shook my head. “You should’ve told me. ‘Cause I want babies too. I’ve just been waiting on you . I didn’t want to pressure you. I wouldn’t be the one carrying life. I wanted to leave that choice to you.”

Dr. Aldridge leaned forward. “See? You both love each other deeply, but you’ve been making decisions out of fear instead of trust. It’s like trying to cook in a pitch-black kitchen—it doesn’t work.” She smiled gently. “But we’re going to work on that.”

At the end of our session, Dr. Aldridge left us with a plan: rebuild our friendship, prioritize our passions, communicate openly about fears, and—unfortunately—abstain from sex until we could do all of the above.

“Demonstrate emotional intimacy, trust, and communication outside of physical connection,” she’d explained.

“Signs of this will be openly expressing concerns and feeling safe to do so, addressing your issues instead of avoiding conflict, and not using physical affection as a shortcut to smoothing things over.”

Dr. Aldridge smiled. “And, of course, having fun. Genuine fun. Without feeling like intimacy is the only way to reconnect.” She leaned forward.

“Finally, you’ll break the abstinence rule when you both mutually agree you’re ready.

Not just one of you trying to make the other happy.

It should feel earned, not a Band-Aid over something unresolved. ”

I glanced at Ayla, who flashed me a small smile.

“What we uncovered today was good—great, even,” Dr. Aldridge continued.

“But what you’ll uncover on this journey will be even better.

When you check these key signs and realize you’re hitting all the marks, you’ll see this isn’t just a rule to follow.

It’s a tool to help rebuild what’s already there between you two. ”

* * *

“You were right about Harper,” I told Ayla.

We were lying in bed, hours after our session. I’d finished work early just so I wouldn’t be late for our appointment with Dr. Aldridge. I was serious about fixing things with my wife. And so far, things were going well.

“Right about what?”

Ayla was curled up in one of my old tees—one she’d borrowed and never given back—her legs tucked close to me. It was almost midnight, and I had to be up early for the office tomorrow, but I wasn’t ready to sleep.

I traced my fingers along her thigh—a compromise, since touching more than this was officially off-limits.

“That I needed to be careful with her.” I exhaled, shifting on my side. “I knew she was attracted to me?—”

“Who isn’t?” Ayla smiled, shrugging playfully.

I twisted my lips in an exaggerated expression, making her giggle.

“Oh, please.” She reached out, tracing her fingers along my jaw, then tapped my nose. “You know you’re 90s fine.”

I scoffed, but before I could reply, I sighed. “She took it too far, though.”

Ayla’s smile faltered slightly. “ That’s … not surprising.” She hesitated, then added, “I, um , I went through your phone and saw some of her messages to you.”

I raised my brows.

“That night you took me to Vernon’s?” she continued. “After missing my work mixer? When you left the table to wash your hands?”

I nodded slowly, already knowing where this was going.

“She texted while you were gone.” Ayla exhaled. “I unlocked your phone and read it. And once I saw that, I saw all the other ones.” Her voice softened. “I knew she was inappropriate. But I also knew I had no right to snoop.” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry.”

I closed my eyes briefly, then opened them. “Nah. I’m sorry. I hate that you felt you had to do that.”

She smiled, a little sad. “Not more than me.”

“But…” I sighed. “You weren’t wrong either.” I took a deep breath. “I haven’t brought it up in counseling yet because I wanted to tell you first.”

Ayla’s smile disappeared completely.

“She propositioned me.”

Her whole body stiffened. “Propositioned?”

I licked my lips. “Promise you won’t get mad.”

She stared at me for a long second. “No.”

I snorted. “No?”

“ Uh-uh .” She shook her head. “Hell no . What did she do? It must’ve been bad if you didn’t bring it up in counseling. Did she try something with you?”

“She wanted to have an affair.”

Ayla scoffed sharply, pressing her tongue into her cheek. “That fucking bitch.”

“And while that was crazy,” I added, “the other shit she did? Was worse.”

Ayla lifted her head slightly. “Other shit? Like what?”

“She made up problems to keep me late at the office.”

Ayla blinked hard. I could see her mind working, piecing it together.

“She delayed telling me about real issues until they became urgent. And then she straight-up invented problems that weren’t problems at all.”

Ayla sat up slightly, her fingers—which had been idly tracing my forearm—going completely still.

“She wasted my time. She wasted my team’s time. She kept me from being home. With you.”

Ayla shook her head, staring past me. Her jaw tightened.

“…I mean… I knew she was a problem, but damn, Hassani…” She exhaled, her shoulders rising and falling sharply. She pressed a hand to her forehead, looking away for a beat. When she turned back, her eyes were wide. Searching.

“She really did that?” she whispered. “Messed with your work just to keep you late there with her?”

I nodded, hating the confirmation. Hating that I let it happen. Hating even more that I waited this long to tell Ayla because I was still processing it myself. That—and because I was too embarrassed to admit I was wrong about Harper.

Ayla grunted, sitting up completely. “I told you about her.”

“You did, baby.” I swallowed hard. “You did.”

Ayla kissed her teeth and shook her head, her frustration mounting.

“So what?” she demanded. “You’re supposed to just keep working with her? Like nothing happened? Because her actions weren’t just unprofessional, Hassani. They were evil.”

“ Very .” I nodded. “And no, I’m not working with her anymore. Bryant is reassigning her to another project—out of state.”