Page 38 of My Only (My First, My Last)

H ASSANI

The soft hum of conversation and the occasional scratch of Dr. Aldridge’s pen filled the cozy office. The space felt warm, inviting, not at all clinical, which was exactly what I needed.

“Welcome back,” Dr. Aldridge greeted us with a smile that was both sharp and kind. “How are you two feeling today?”

I glanced at Ayla.

She did the same.

“Well… I’m good,” I answered, pressing a hand to my chest then focusing on Ayla once more.

Ayla giggled. “And I’m good too.”

Dr. Aldridge’s smile widened. “Great. Last session, we focused on why you’re here—communication struggles, expectations, and what you both want to get out of counseling.”

I nodded.

The first session had been pretty laid-back. Things between Ayla and me had gotten better in some ways since then, but there were still cracks we hadn’t filled. And if I was being honest? I didn’t trust myself not to say the wrong thing these days.

That’s why I was here, again. Why we were here.

“Today,” Dr. Aldridge continued, “I’d like to go a little deeper. This is your second session, and I want to make sure you’re getting the most out of it.”

“Sounds good to me,” Ayla said, throwing a glance my way.

“Same.”

Dr. Aldridge studied us for a beat before asking, “How do you both feel about being back here today?”

I glanced at Ayla.

Ayla glanced at me.

The doctor’s smile tilted. “Do you always look to each other to make decisions?”

I blinked, shifting in my seat.

“I… just didn’t want to cut her off,” I admitted.

Ayla chuckled. “Same. I’ve never done therapy before, so I don’t know the etiquette.”

I snorted. “Can you imagine if therapy etiquette was a thing?”

“I bet there’s a book about it somewhere.” Ayla quirked a brow and grinned. “Probably a bestseller.”

I shrugged. “I feel like you’d buy something like that.”

“Oh, you know I would.” She smirked, leaning in and wrapping her hands around my biceps. “Especially if it’s a series. Then I’d steal more space on your bookshelves to house them.”

She stuck her tongue out teasingly, then laughed, burying her face in my arm.

“Laughing, but I know you’re so serious.” I smirked. “You little shelf bandit.”

Ayla laughed even harder against me. Her laughter was always so contagious, that light, sweet sound I hadn’t heard enough of lately. I found myself chuckling along with her, tension melting away.

When I looked back at Dr. Aldridge, her smile had shifted—something knowing, something warm.

“Oh, damn, I’m sorry.” I shook my head and exhaled a laugh. “What was your question again?”

She set her pen down. “Not important. Not after what just happened.”

Ayla and I exchanged a look.

“ What just happened?” I asked, frowning.

Dr. Aldridge’s eyes bounced between us before she leaned forward slightly. “I don’t think we talked about how you two met.”

Ayla’s lips twitched, eyes flicking to me.

I licked my lips, a slow grin pulling at my mouth.

Damn. That was a good memory.

“So, let’s do it now… how did you two first meet?” Dr. Aldridge asked, interest gleaming in her gaze.

“In my parents’ kitchen,” Ayla started. “Hassani showed up with his parents for dinner. My dad had just started working at a firm where Hassani’s father was his boss, and my dad wanted to make a good impression.”

I snickered. “It felt like something straight out of a sitcom.”

Ayla giggled. “Right?! My parents made me dress up in my Easter Sunday outfit. Meanwhile, Hassani showed up in a tee, jeans, and sneakers. I was so annoyed by that.”

Dr. Aldridge laughed.

“Well,” she asked next, “was it love at first sight?”

“Yes,” Ayla answered immediately.

My head jerked toward her. “Wh—what?”

She pressed her lips together, clearly holding back a smile.

“Oh, nah.” I turned fully to her. “You can’t just drop that and go silent.”

I gestured at Dr. Aldridge. “Please tell her she can’t do that, Doc.”

Dr. Aldridge chuckled. “How about you, Hassani?”

I tore my gaze from Ayla, grinning as I nodded my head.

“Definitely love at first sight. Definitely .”

Ayla’s smile spread, slow and sweet, her dimples showing.

“I actually pestered my dad a few times in high school about asking Ayla out. I was more direct with him our freshman year, straight-up telling him I wanted her to be my girlfriend. But after that, I started asking more roundabout questions, hoping he’d changed his stance. It was always a no, though.”

Ayla’s eyes widened. “Really?! No way.”

“Yup.” I nodded, watching her reaction.

Ayla’s jaw dropped. “You never told me that.”

I smirked. “You never told me it was love at first sight.”

“So it seems like you two didn’t date when you first met?”

“Nah.” I shook my head, turning back to Dr. Aldridge. “We became friends and stayed friends straight through high school and college. But when I was finally ready to make things more than just friendship, Ayla didn’t want that… even though she was my first.”

Dr. Aldridge’s brows arched. “Your first?”

I nodded. “My first love, my first intimate partner.”

“Same,” Ayla echoed. “For both.”

“It was her idea, actually.” I gestured at Ayla with my thumb. “Changed my life completely.”

Dr. Aldridge’s smile could probably be spotted from the opposite skyscraper. “So you were friends first?”

I nodded. “Yup.”

“My dad passed away in 9/11,” Ayla said next.

Dr. Aldridge pressed a hand to her chest. “Oh… my condolences.”

“Thank you,” Ayla replied. “Hassani became a really good support system and still is.”

Dr. Aldridge leaned in. “So you two said you were only friends from high school to college. How did we get here as Mr. and Mrs. Hassani Franklin?”

“Well…” Ayla snickered. “He sent me an invitation to his wedding… to a different woman.”

Dr. Aldridge’s gaze flicked to me, her expression making it clear she had questions. I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing.

“Hassani?”

“It’s true.” I moved my head up and down.

“I was engaged to a woman I started dating in the last few weeks of college. We were together for five years, and marrying her just seemed like the right thing to do. So, I asked her to marry me, and she rewarded me by cheating with the man I made my best man.”

“Oh.” Dr. Aldridge dropped her eyes to her notebook. “Okay.”

“It was a blessing in disguise,” I noted. “Something I only realized when my ex-fiancée confessed she’d slept with my childhood friend.”

“I want to revisit this in a separate session,” Dr. Aldridge said, eyes sharp with interest. “But what stands out to me the most is that you two were friends first. Only friends, right?”

“Yup.” I nodded.

And that time in my life? Absolute torture.

I didn’t say that out loud, because I’m lucky it’s just a memory now and not a regret.

But damn, wanting Ayla and pretending I didn’t back then?

That was the hardest part. I loved being her friend—she was an amazing friend—but I wanted more the moment I met her in her parents’ kitchen.

“You were friends before you were lovers. That’s a gift,” Dr. Aldridge said. “Not everyone has that foundation to return to. So let’s rebuild from there.”

Ayla and I glanced at each other. I smiled, and she did too.

“In our first session…” Dr. Aldridge looked at me. “Hassani, you said you wanted to fix things but didn’t know how.” Then she turned to Ayla. “And, Ayla, you admitted to being tired of feeling unheard.”

I looked at Ayla again. Without thinking, I turned my palm up, and following my cue, she placed her hand in mine.

Dr. Aldridge smiled, lowering her eyes to her notebook. “How did you settle your disputes when you were only friends?”

I tilted my head toward the ceiling, then lowered my gaze to the coffee table in front of us. It had tissues, notebooks, and water bottles on its surface, but I wasn’t really seeing them. I was digging through my memory, trying to recall a single argument we’d had back then.

I came up with nothing.

“We didn’t have disputes as friends,” Ayla said.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I can’t think of a single argument we had as friends.”

“And married?” Dr. Aldridge asked. “How do you settle disagreements now?”

I made a face—one of those half-shrugs with my mouth.

“Sex,” Ayla and I said at the exact same time, our voices amplified from how in sync we were.

Ayla snorted, and I did too before we both burst into laughter.

Dr. Aldridge chuckled. “Well, okay. You two have a healthy sex life. That’s very good.”

I nodded proudly.

“But sometimes, sex isn’t a fix. It can actually make things worse when communication is what’s really needed.”

I tilted my head to the side.

“You need to trust each other emotionally before relying on intimacy to smooth things over,” she continued. “Ayla mentioned being tired of feeling unheard. There’s no amount of sex that will fix that.” She sighed dramatically, then smirked. “Unfortunately.”

I arched a brow. “Are you sure?”

Ayla giggled, and Dr. Aldridge smirked.

“ Yes , I’m sure, Hassani.” She leaned in slightly. “I’m going to suggest something that may seem difficult at first, but I’m confident it will work for you two given your history.”

“Okay…?” Ayla voiced hesitantly.

“I’m going to suggest that you go through a period of abstinence to help rebuild your emotional connection.”

“Abstinence?” Ayla repeated.

“Excu—” I stopped, inhaled deeply, then exhaled. “I’m sorry… what?”

Ayla blew air through her pursed lips. “Abstinence. Hmmm .”

Dr. Aldridge chuckled at our synchronized disbelief. “I know, I know—it sounds extreme, but hear me out.”

I’d rather not!

I side-eyed Ayla, who looked just as stunned as I felt.

“Abstinence will allow you to refocus your connection outside of physical intimacy. You two clearly have a very passionate relationship,” she said, amusement in her tone. “That’s great. But passion can’t be the only thing holding you together.”

I sucked my teeth. “I mean…”

Ayla elbowed me lightly.

I smirked.

Dr. Aldridge held up a hand to cut off my comeback before I could make it. “Sex is important, yes. But emotional intimacy? That’s what truly sustains a marriage.”