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Chapter Two

I ’m a bundle of nerves after informing the resident director that I’d like to meet Egorr, but I try to play it cool. I spend two whole days mulling over what to wear for our meeting, and even get my mother’s input, though she has atrocious taste—but it’s not like Celeste’s is much better. I’m on my own when it comes to picking something out.

Eventually I decide on a modest blue blouse with a matching polka-dot skirt, and my favorite blue flats. Hopefully Egorr doesn’t think I’m too overdone.

I can’t think like that. If I don’t want a repeat of Shisek, I have to be my real self. I have to ask for what I want and need, and let my potential partner decide if he’s interested or not. Egorr sounds like a nice guy, but if how I dress is going to be a deal-breaker, I’d rather know now.

Before our meeting, I find out what I can about ogres. They tend to be solitary, or so the internet says, and they build their homes in mountains and hills. Once married, they stay with their partner for life. They typically eat a lot to sustain their big bodies but only need a meal once or twice a day. I wonder how that would work when I need three squares daily.

After reading the whole article, I’m more worried about our differences than ever. Would I fit into his life? Would he need to buy extra furniture to accommodate my much smaller size? Would he want to travel, to do things and explore the world, if he’s cooped up in his den alone all the time?

Celeste comes over that morning to bring me breakfast and give me a pep talk, which is funny to me coming from someone who won’t even look at her own applications. She busies about, dropping encouraging words as I put on some light makeup. I want to disguise the bags under my eyes, but not hide who I am. I’m grateful to have her there, and before I head to the meeting, she gives me a big hug.

“Something will work out for you,” she says. “I know it in my heart.”

It’s cheesy, but I hope she’s right. I want to find my forever person.

* * *

I try to gather up all my confidence before I step into the meeting room. I’m pretty and smart, and I know what I want. I’m not willing to accept half measures any longer. No more Shiseks.

I don’t know if I believe all of it in my heart, but I’m going to pretend I do.

Steeling myself, I head inside.

When I open the door and peer through, I find Egorr’s already inside and talking with the resident director. He’s gigantic. Like, really, really big. His clothes are huge, too, and seem to be barely holding in his big chest and belly. His tusks are even longer in real life than they looked in his picture, but his head is just as empty of hair.

Samantha spots me and says brightly, “Hi, Maddie!”

Egorr turns around, and when he sees me, his mouth falls open.

“Oh,” is all that comes out. Samantha gestures for me to come in, so I do, letting the door fall closed behind me. Egorr hasn’t stopped staring, and I wonder if I have something on my face.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” the resident director says, giving me a broad smile. Then she lets herself out, and Egorr and I are by ourselves.

I decide to jump right into it. “Hi!” I say cheerily, holding out my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Egorr.”

The ogre blinks a few times, like he’s just realized where we are and what we’re doing.

“Hello,” he says, and his voice is incredibly deep, like a didgeridoo. “Thank you for meeting me, Maddie.”

He shakes my hand, and his utterly dwarfs mine, his palm swallowing up my fingers. Then he releases me, and Egorr gestures politely to one of the couches. When I sit down, he finds his own seat on the couch opposite of me, so I feel like I’m going to a counseling session.

“I should be the one thanking you for meeting me ,” I say with a nervous laugh. “Thanks for, um, applying. And then coming all the way out here.”

Though Egorr’s smile had looked a little forced in his application photo, this time when he smiles, the radiance of it takes me by surprise. His bulky lower lip pulls up on the sides, his tusks rising high on his face. He has such a big, wide mouth, and his eyes crinkle so adorably that it sets me at ease right away.

“I was really happy to get the call,” he says, that booming voice sending a little shock down my spine. “I’ve been hoping for a while I’d hear from you.”

“Really?” Now I feel terrible about how long I took to respond. I was just so weighed down with Shisek that I’d put it off, not even thinking about the monsters on the other side of the applications who might be waiting to hear from me.

“Of course.” Egorr’s smile softens. “When I heard nothing, I got worried I might never get picked.”

“Oh, sorry.” I drop my eyes to the floor. “I should have accepted or declined sooner. I just...” I shake off the flood of sadness that washes over me. “I’ve been busy, that’s all!”

He nods. “I understand. I’m glad we get to meet now.” Egorr sits up straighter and adjusts the collar of his dress shirt. It’s clearly a little uncomfortable around his thick neck. “It’s not like I was doing much.”

“So you work in computers,” I say, deciding to turn the conversation toward getting to know Egorr better. “Tell me about that?”

He tenses up, like this subject makes him nervous. “Not a lot to say, I suppose. I go to the office, I write software code and hunt down bugs, then I come home.” That wide smile has fallen off his face. “It’s not very exciting.”

“I think it’s exciting,” I say. I’ve never met someone who works on computers, and I’m not all that good at using them myself. “What kind of software?”

He blinks. “Oh. Well.” Egorr clears his throat. “You know the CGI in movies and games?”

I nod. “Like when something blows up?”

“Exactly. I work on the software that other companies use to make computer-generated effects like that.”

This actually is very exciting.

“So your stuff has been in movies?”

Egorr chortles. “I guess you could say that, in an indirect way. They use the tools I’ve helped develop.”

“So…” I find I’ve been twirling my hair in my nervousness, and I drop my hand immediately. “What do you do for fun, Egorr?”

The happiness falls from his face. “Oh, um. Not a ton. I play video games in the evenings, usually, to relax after work. But sometimes I work late, then just go home and go to bed.”

I cock my head. “Is that part of the job? Do your coworkers work late, too?”

Egorr shrugs. “No, they all have families they go home to, so they’re always eager to leave right at five o’clock.”

I can hear the words he isn’t saying: But I’m not. He doesn’t have a family of his own, though if I gathered anything from his application, it’s that he wants one more than anything else.

“If you had someone at home, would you still work late?” It’s an important question, because I don’t want to be left home alone all day long. I expect I’ll have to entertain myself most of the time, but it’s not worth it if we can’t see each other in the evenings.

“Oh, of course not!” Egorr’s brows are high on his forehead. “I would ditch work as soon as possible if I had, um… someone at home.”

I think he means me, and it makes my heart beat a little faster.

But there is a sticking point. He wants a family . I can’t give him children, not as we’re different species. Is that something he wants?

“Can I ask a blunt question?” I say. Not that I know how to ask in any other way.

He cocks his head. “Sure.”

“Why not a lady ogre?”

Egorr’s eyes go even wider, and I don’t think that’s what he was expecting me to say. His mouth opens like he’s about to answer, but then he closes it again and looks away, his green cheeks turning a darker color.

“What?” I lean forward. I know humans are incredibly desirable among monsters. We’re cute, we’re helpless, we’re small. Whatever it is about us, they want a taste. So I need to know why Egorr applied for me specifically—and I don’t want it to be because I’m small and cute and maybe a good hole for his cock.

“Well,” Egorr says, swallowing hard, “I’m not, um... I’m not very interested. In other ogres.” He raises his eyes shyly to mine. “I hope this doesn’t sound strange, but I’ve never dated one. We aren’t very common, and I’ve always been attracted to, well...” He’s sweating now, and he wipes it away with the back of his hand. “Something else, I suppose? I was in a relationship with a bigfoot for a while. After her, I dated a nymph, but that didn’t go very far.”

So he’s been with others like me? Nymphs are a little taller than humans, but similar in shape and size. They’re just lucky they have forest magic to protect them out in the world, or else they might be monster meat, too.

“Oh.” So it’s not that he’s attracted to humans, specifically, he’s just really not into his own kind. “Okay. That makes sense.”

“That was probably a lot of information you didn’t need to know,” Egorr says with a self-deprecating chuckle.

“No!” I say it a little too loud. “I mean, no, it’s helpful for me. And I sort of understand.” Should I fess up? The fact I’ve also tried to date and failed? “Part of the reason I didn’t call sooner, Egorr... is I got out of a relationship that went wrong.”

Egorr’s whole face falls. His big, bulky jaw is overtaken by his frown. “I’m so sorry.”

I shrug, pretending to be much more aloof than I feel. “It’s okay. We weren’t a good fit. I think he was using me so he wouldn’t feel lonely.” I swallow hard to keep the pain and betrayal from showing on my face. “Just took me a while to get over it.”

“But you were clearly still sad when it ended,” Egorr says, reaching across the space between the couches to put a big, comforting hand on my arm. It’s gigantic, each of his blunt fingernails twice as big as my own thumb.

“Yeah,” I admit. “I guess I was sad. I thought it was for real between us, and it wasn’t. He made that pretty clear by the end.”

He nods. “I felt that way about Asha. My last girlfriend.” He sighs. “But it was completely one-sided. We went on a few dates, and I fell hard for her, but she wasn’t interested, not really. She cheated on me only a few months into the relationship.”

Instantly, I’m incensed. She cheated on him?

“Wow, what a bitch,” I say, without thinking twice about it. Then I cover my mouth. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. I don’t know her at all. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Egorr’s laugh is big and booming, and his grin is affectionate.

“You’re fiery, Maddie,” he says, his nose twitching. “I like it.”

Now I’m the one taken aback that such a chill, quiet guy wouldn’t mind me being a bit of a brat. “You do?”

The big ogre sits forward on his couch, closer to me, like he wants to say something private. I can’t help but lean forward, too, so he can whisper to me whatever it is he wants to say.

“And that guy of yours?” he rumbles in my ear. “He’s a bastard.”

I don’t try to hold in my giggle. Egorr pulls away, both of us smiling. I decide then that I like him. He is handsome, in his own unusual way. His grin is infectious, and so honest and genuine that I feel warm all over.

I feel like I can trust Egorr.

“Thanks,” I say with a breath of relief. “Honestly, he was an asshole.” But now I have a chance for something different.

This time, I’m the one who puts a hand on Egorr’s knee. He arches an eyebrow.

“Egorr?” I ask.

“Yes?” He puts his hand on top of mine, and a shiver runs up my arm. We’ve only just met, but already we’re holding hands. And damn, I like it.

“Do you want to go on a date?” I ask. “Wherever you want. I don’t care.”

He’s surprised at first, but his expression quickly shifts to pleased. “I would really love that, Maddie.” He squeezes my hand a little tighter. “But you should pick the place, since you’re the one who lives in here and doesn’t get to go out much.”

I think about that. If I could go anywhere, where would I go? Besides the Bahamas, of course.

“How about an amusement park?” I ask, already feeling giddy. “I’ve always wanted to ride a rollercoaster!”

Egorr lets out another wonderful laugh. “Okay. I’ve only been on one in my life before, but I’d be happy to go ride a rollercoaster with you.”

Something about the way he says with you makes me feel warm and fluffy all over. I think he likes me, and boy, does that feel good.

We make plans to meet over the weekend, when Egorr is available, and run them by Samantha. Then the date is set.

When Egorr leaves, I wave goodbye, and his shy wave back makes my heart melt. Saturday can’t possibly get here fast enough.