Page 10

Chapter Ten

W hen we arrive back at the cute little door in the hillside, neither of us speaks. Egorr opens it for me, and though the fire has died inside, it’s still lovely and warm. I just need to be alone for a while to sort through what happened, so I head to my room and shut myself in.

I think about calling Celeste for some comfort, but I don’t want to have to tell her all the sordid details. Maybe I did overreact, and I don’t want her to judge me. Besides, Egorr apologized. That’s good enough, right?

I lie back on the bed, trying to sort through the conflicting feelings roiling inside me. My wounds from Shisek are still too fresh not to take it personally. I can’t bear the idea of being rejected again. I need to feel like I’m enough.

When I finally walk into the living room, Egorr’s in the kitchen. I smell something absolutely lovely.

“What’s that?” I ask, and he spins around, surprised by the sound of my voice. He smiles bigger than I’ve ever seen him smile, like he can’t believe I’m still here.

“Chicken parmesan,” he says, stirring something in a pan. “And homemade marinara to go on top.” He quickly opens a bottle of wine, then pulls down two glasses and fills them. “I know it’s late, but we didn’t eat dinner, so…”

Oh, wow. He’s really pulling out all the stops. I take an uneasy seat on one of the stools at the island, and Egorr slides the glass in front of me.

“Maddie…” he begins.

I hold up a hand. “I want to forget it ever happened.”

He furrows his brow, then shakes his head. “No. We need to talk about it.”

Egorr walks around the island and sits down at the stool next to me.

“I want you,” he says, with a surprising sternness. “I want you more than anything. More than anyone else. And I’ll do whatever it takes for you to believe that.”

Ugh, I’m not going to cry again today.

“I think it’ll just take time,” I say quietly, swishing my wine glass to hide my unsteady hand. “I…” I swallow hard. I need to tell him why it hurt me so much. Why what happened tonight hit me in the place where I’m most tender.

“What is it?” Egorr asks, his expression open and ready to listen.

“You know I was sent back.” I try to still the rapid beating of my heart as I expose my weakness to him. Egorr just nods, waiting for what I have to say next. “I wasn’t enough for him. I wasn’t the right fit. He… he wanted something else, someone more like him.”

Someone who didn’t need furniture, for starters. Probably someone who wasn’t as needy as I am.

“I like you, Egorr,” I say with a sniffle. “And I want to be enough. But today made me feel like I wasn’t. Like maybe you need someone else, after… you know.” I rub my face with one hand, and my voice drops quieter. “When we didn’t fit.”

Egorr’s brows rise, and I think he finally understands. Shaking his head, he rests his hand over mine.

“I’m so sorry I made you feel that way,” he says in a tender voice, his eyes so full of emotion it makes me feel like crying again. “You are enough, Maddie. You’re the one I need more than anything, the one I want to share my home with me. You’re so wonderful that I feel like I don’t deserve you.”

“What?” I’m affronted. “Why would you think that?”

“Because you’re fun. And outgoing. And really, really beautiful.” He lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “What beautiful human wants an ogre? An ogre who lives alone and is, apparently, utterly clueless?”

I gape at him. “But I do want you.” I turn my hand over and wrap my fingers around his. “Truly, I do.”

“Even though I hurt you?” he asks, voice turning sad. “In more ways than one.”

“I think we were both a little clueless in the bedroom. You’re, um… very well-endowed.” I blush as I say it.

He blinks, then smiles.

“I think I’m normal for an ogre. But once you’re healed, we’ll be more careful.” He leans down to kiss my forehead. “And that doesn’t mean anything about how suited we are for each other. It will just take time.”

The oven beeps, and Egorr gets up and grabs an oven mitt to take the chicken out. It smells incredible. After he serves up the chicken parmesan, I get completely engrossed in my food.

“This is fucking amazing,” I say, shoving another forkful into my mouth. “Do you cook like this all the time?”

Egorr shrugs. “I try. Though there’s not a lot of reason to cook anything fancy when I live alone.”

I wipe my lips with a napkin. “Well, I guess now that you’re not living alone, you can cook fancy all the time.”

He laughs, and it’s a booming, lovely laugh, that feels like maybe we’ve gotten through the worst of it.

“I’d like that.”

After we’ve cleaned up dinner, we settle down on the couch in front of the fire. Egorr spreads his legs and offers me a seat between them, and I grab my book before settling in. I lean back against his big chest, and he pulls down a blanket to cover both of us.

We spend the rest of the evening curled up together, Egorr’s big breaths calming my unsteady heart. He pauses his reading from time to time to smooth a hand down my hair and leave a kiss on the crown of my head. Before I know it, I’m asleep in his arms, my book forgotten on the floor.

I barely register when Egorr picks me up and carries me back to my room. He pulls aside the blankets and sets me gently on the bed, and I mumble a little at the loss of his warmth when he brings the sheets up to my chin.

“Good night,” he murmurs, pecking my cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning. And then we’ll do so many fun things together.”

I fall asleep imagining what those things might be.

* * *

The next day, Egorr has to go back into the office, but I wake up early to him kissing me on the forehead.

“Little Maddie,” he hums, pushing some hair back from my face. “I’ll see you tonight, all right? And this time we’ll go somewhere nice.”

“Mmm,” I manage to say back, and he chuckles. Then, with one more kiss to my lips, Egorr gets up and leaves the room, and I quickly fall back asleep.

Later, when I’m finally awake enough to get out of bed, I follow the routine of getting in the warm water and waiting impatiently, just like the doctor ordered. I have a video chat with Celeste that afternoon, and we talk all about her latest applications, and what life with Egorr’s been like. Then I broach the subject of what happened at the pub.

Celeste frowns when I tell her the whole story.

“You ran off on your own? Something a lot worse could have happened to you, Maddie!”

“That’s what you’re focusing on?” I pout.

“It sounds like Egorr struggles with social situations.” Celeste gives me a pitying look. “You were right to be upset, but he apologized and promised to do better, right?”

“Yeah, he did.” I hunch forward. “We talked it out, and I do feel better, but…”

Celeste nods like she already understands. “But some trust was lost, wasn’t it?”

I nod, transparent as a window, as always.

She sighs. “I’m sorry. I understand.”

“But it’s okay.” I hastily wave my hands. “We’re going out to dinner tonight somewhere upscale. Then Egorr promised me ‘fun things’ at home.”

My best friend grins. “I’m glad you found someone as horny as you are.”

I snort.

When four o’clock rolls around, I start dressing up for tonight. I wonder where Egorr’s going to take me this time. It better not be a pub.

The door finally opens around five, and when Egorr steps inside and sees me, a big smile lights up his face. I throw myself at him, not realizing how much I missed him in the hours he was gone. Ever since I saw him cry yesterday, all I want is to make him smile again.

He hugs me back, completely wrapping me up in his thick arms.

“It’s good to see you, too,” Egorr says before releasing me. His eyes travel from my face down to my toes, then back up again, and he seems immensely pleased. “You look wonderful. I’m going to clean up and then we can go. I got reservations for six.”

I rock forward on my heels in excitement. “Reservations? Must be a nice restaurant.”

He shrugs, but a grin pulls at his cheek as he heads to his bedroom to change. When he emerges again, he’s in a sexy polo shirt and a pair of slacks that look wonderful on him—though I think I like Egorr in just about any state of dress.

At the front door, he takes my hand. “Ready?”

I squeeze his fingers tight. “Ready.”

Egorr drives us into the city, and parks along Central Avenue in the downtown district. When we get out of the car, I’m shocked to find just how many monsters are walking up and down the street. I’ve never been anywhere so crowded.

I wrap my hand around Egorr’s arm, staying close to his side as we navigate onto the sidewalk, toward the restaurant. We step in behind a minotaur couple and wait until it’s our turn with the host. Then we’re led to our table—a cute little two-seater with a candle sitting in the middle.

“Get whatever you want,” Egorr says with a wink. “The plates are small, so we should over-order.”

Well, don’t mind if I do.

I order pretty much everything on the menu that sounds delicious, and Egorr nods and grins until the fairy waitress starts to look worried.

“Anything else?” she asks as if she doesn’t want to know the answer.

Egorr pipes up. “A bottle of wine, please.”

Then we hand over our menus. The waitress nods and flits away, half-walking and half-flying. It seems like a perilous thing to do in a restaurant, but she easily dodges a waiter coming the other direction and vanishes into the back room.

We chat companionably about Egorr’s day, and I tell him about talking with Celeste. I avoid what happened yesterday, though, because I don’t want to ruin the good mood. But I’m still thinking about what she said—how we need to regain trust between us again—and I think this is a good first step.

Then the food arrives, and it’s all I can think about. The table is packed full of goodies, from sea scallops in a creamy sauce to bone marrow whipped and served inside the original bone.

“This is incredible,” I say, mouth full of food. “It must be costing you a fortune, Egorr.”

He shrugs. “I don’t spend a lot of money, and I live pretty modestly. I finished paying off my mortgage last year, which is one of the reasons I decided to finally apply for you.”

I cock my head. “Oh?”

“It felt like my life was stable enough, and…” He sighs. “I don’t think what happened yesterday is the first time I’ve been oblivious to what my partner needs. I’ve been alone for a long time, probably for that reason.”

I’m surprised that he’s broaching the subject, but I continue listening.

“So when I paid off the house and found I was living there all by myself, it was a big moment of realization for me.” Egorr looks wistful. “I knew I didn’t want to be alone anymore.”

“And that’s why you applied for me?”

“Yep. So I went to the New Eden website and saw you there, and I guess I just knew.”

I lean forward on the table, the delicious food momentarily forgotten. “You knew what?”

“That you were the one for me.” He smiles cautiously. “Your little note was so cute and fun and sweet, then I looked at your picture, and it was obvious to me that you were perfect.”

I’m swooning so hard I could just fall right out of my chair.

I understand exactly where he’s coming from. I understand that deep loneliness, like you’re supposed to be at someone’s side, but that someone is missing.

Maybe I could be that someone for Egorr, and maybe he could be that someone for me.

“I’m sorry I ran off last night,” I say, taking a bite of the whipped bone marrow because I can’t keep myself from devouring what’s in front of me.

Egorr lets out a heavy breath. “I thought that rock giant was going to squish you. I’ve never been so scared in my life.”

“I thought it was the end for me, too.” I slide my hand toward him around the many plates on our table, and Egorr takes it in his much larger palm. “I promise I won’t do it again.”

“And I promise I won’t give you a reason to,” he says in return, rubbing my palm with his big thumb.

After dinner, I have to practically waddle back out to the car because of how much I’ve eaten. Egorr belly laughs as he helps me into the passenger seat, then takes us home back to the hill.