Page 13 of My Hotshot (Iron Fiends #9)
Dice
The text stared back at me.
Hello.
One word. Simple. Harmless. And it was currently ripping a hole through the middle of my chest like it was laced with dynamite.
I had told myself, promised myself, I needed to wait on Lainey. That it wasn’t the right time. Not when things were the way they were with the club. Not when Boone and Gibbs were still breathing.
But now… here she was. Texting me.
“You good?” Pirate asked and leaned forward to squint at me across the table.
I gave him a tight nod and kept my eyes on the screen.
“Bro, you’re lookin’ at your phone like it bit you. What the hell is up?”
Without saying a word, I turned the screen toward him so he could see.
He wrinkled his brow. “The word hello pissed you off?”
I turned the phone back to me, and my thumb hovered over the screen like it might detonate. “It’s from Lainey.”
Pirate’s expression softened. “Oh. Things not good between you two?”
“Things are fine, I just…” I trailed off, jaw clenched.
The thing was, I had told myself very clearly that I needed to let her go for now. Told myself I couldn’t bring someone like her into my life—especially not now. She had a daughter. A life . And I came with blood on my hands and a target on my back.
But then she’d gone and texted me.
It had been four days since I left her place with a mumbled half-asleep goodbye from her. I said I’d talk to her later. Apparently, she decided later was now.
“You just what?” Pirate prompted when I didn’t finish.
I sighed. “I just don’t want her wrapped up in all this club shit. She’s got a kid, man. What kind of asshole tries to date someone when his daily reality includes guys trying to kill him?”
Pirate gave a little shrug. “I mean… yeah, fair. But have you talked to her about it? Told her the situation?”
“Pretty sure Yarder wouldn’t be thrilled about me handing out details of the Iron Fiends’ current shitstorm.”
Pirate nodded at my phone. “Then don’t tell her everything. Just give her enough to understand the kind of storm she’d be walking into. Let her decide what she wants.”
I pressed the heel of my hand to my eye socket and groaned. “Right. I’ll just say, ‘Hey, I’m being hunted by a couple of psychos, and if they find out we’re close, they might slit your throat in the grocery store parking lot. So… want to grab dinner?’ Sounds like a hell of a first date.”
Pirate chuckled under his breath. “You’re dramatic, man.”
I raised my head and stared at him. “I’m serious. Boone and Gibbs don’t play games. If they think for a second she matters to me—”
“You don’t know they’ll go after her.”
“No, but I know me . And I know what it would do to me if they did.”
Pirate leaned back in his chair. “Yarder said they’re pulling in, right? Closing their ranks. That means they’re feeling the heat. Leo and Brynn are watching every move. This thing will be over soon.”
“Yeah,” I muttered, “I’ll believe that when I see Boone bleeding out in a ditch.”
“Then tell her to leave you alone,” Pirate said, simple and blunt.
I glared at him.
He raised his eyebrows. “What? You’re not gonna do that either. So you either respond, or you ghost her and feel like a piece of shit about it. Pick your poison.”
“I need a pause button on my life,” I muttered and dragged a hand down my face. “That’s what I need. Just give me a damn pause until all this blows over.”
“Good luck finding one,” Pirate said and pushed up from his chair. “Let me know when you do.”
He walked over to the couch where Saylor was curled up with a blanket, watching something mindless on TV. They murmured something to each other, low and easy.
I stared at the screen again.
Hello.
That was all she’d said. No pressure. No accusation. Just… an opening.
She’d made the move. Now it was on me.
And as much as I wanted to pretend I was strong enough to ignore it, I wasn’t. I didn’t want to blow her off. I didn’t want to push her away.
But I also didn’t want to drag her into this world and watch her get crushed under the weight of it.
My fingers hovered over the screen.
Hey, babe.