Page 11

Lainey

I poured my third cup of coffee and leaned against the kitchen island. One hand wrapped around the warm mug and the other massaging my temple like that would somehow make the dull ache go away. The caffeine was doing its best, but I was still one degree south of functional.

“Mom, I’m home!” Lottie’s voice rang through the front door.

I smiled, just a little. Something about hearing her call out like that always settled the chaos in my chest. “I’m in the kitchen,” I called.

Lottie padded in with her overnight bag and dropped it with a thunk onto the hardwood floor. She took one look at me and wrinkled her nose. “You look tired.”

I raised a brow. “Hello to you, too.”

She laughed and tossed her long hair over her shoulder. “Sorry. Hello, Mom.” She paused dramatically. “You look tired.”

I took a slow sip of my coffee. “I stayed up late watching TV.”

“Really? I figured you would’ve been out by eight.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “I’m thirty-four, Lottie, not eighty-four.”

She snorted and walked over to the trash, pulled a wrapper from her hoodie pocket, and tossed it. “You didn’t do anything else?” she asked casually, moving to the fridge and opening the door.

I kept my expression neutral, though a small flutter stirred in my stomach. “Just had Chinese, pigged out on stuff from the farmers market, and watched TV. I started a show about tow truck drivers.”

That wasn’t a lie. I just… conveniently left out that a six-foot-something, tattooed blast from my past had been on the couch beside me for most of it.

Lottie turned with a bottle of water and twisted the cap. “Tow truck drivers?” She laughed. “That sounds a bit out of the norm for you.”

I shrugged. “I don’t really know what my norm is anymore.”

“Are you going to become a tow truck driver now?” she teased.

I rolled my eyes and took another sip of coffee. “That is a negative. I’m more than okay running my marketing business. Pretty sure I can’t be a tow truck driver from my computer in the spare bedroom.”

“Touché,” Lottie said, grinning. “I don’t think you could fit a tow truck in there.”

We both laughed, and it felt good. Easy.

“How was your night?” I asked. “Did you have fun at the movies?”

She nodded and leaned against the counter. “Yeah, it was good. We had pizza and tacos at Tiff’s and just hung out all night.”

“Did you go to bed at a decent hour, or are you going to sleep all afternoon?” I raised an eyebrow.

Lottie shrugged. “I mean, I’m not against taking a little nap later.”

“Lottie,” I warned playfully, “don’t sleep too much today, or you’re not going to be able to sleep tonight.”

“I know, I know,” she sighed. “I need to do my geometry homework, and then… do you want to watch a movie?”

“As long as you don’t expect me to help you with your homework.”

“I wouldn’t think of asking you, Mom.”

I raised a fist in mock triumph. “Death to geometry!” I had been known as one of the smartest girls in high school, but anything math-related had been hard for me.

“Mom,” she laughed and shook her head.

“Go do your homework, and then we’ll watch a movie,” I said. By then, hopefully, the pounding in my head would be dulled by caffeine and a couple of aspirin.

“Are you going to spend some more time with your tow truck drivers until then?” she teased, her eyes twinkling.

“Ha, ha,” I deadpanned. “Go.” I waved my hand toward the hallway.

She grinned and grabbed her bag. I heard her door click shut a few seconds later.

I turned back to my coffee, wrapped both hands around the mug, and let out a soft sigh. I always felt better when she was home. It was like a knot that had been twisted tight in my chest slowly loosened when she walked through the door. Safe. Here. My baby.

I took another sip and let my mind wander back to last night.

Duane.

He’d come over, just like that. After all these years. After all that silence and space and life.

And it had been… nice.

I had passed out halfway through the second episode of Highway Through Hell . I’d tried so hard to stay awake—mostly because I didn’t want to be that person who fell asleep during a hangout—but between the wine, the food coma, and the warm presence of Duane beside me, my body had tapped out.

He hadn’t made a big deal about it. Hadn’t poked or teased or made me feel stupid. He had just… gently nudged me awake. His hand had touched my shoulder, and I remembered his voice being soft, low. “I’m gonna head out, sweetheart.”

Half-asleep, I’d mumbled something—I had no idea what, probably nonsense—and walked him to the door. I think he said he’d talk to me later. At least, I think that’s what he said. It had been hazy.

I’d locked the door behind him and gone straight to bed, still warm with the scent of him on the blanket.

Could I have been more… aware? More present? Probably. But I didn’t function like a normal person after just waking up, and he hadn’t seemed to mind. That mattered.

Now he had my phone number. And he knew where I lived.

That should’ve freaked me out more than it did.

It was a little scary, sure. I wasn’t na?ve. But it wasn’t like I thought he was going to show up on my doorstep unannounced. He knew about Lottie. He knew I had a life before moving here.

But what was he trying to do? Maybe he was asking himself the same question about me because I had been the one to text him.

I wrapped my arms around my waist and leaned my hip against the counter. I stared out the window above the sink. The yard looked the same as it always did yesterday. Faded grass, a wind chime barely tinkling in the still morning air, the bird feeder swinging gently even though I hadn’t seen a bird in days.

It all looked the same, but each day I started to feel different. I was feeling freer.

And now there was Duane.

Was I supposed to tell Lottie?

What would I even say? Hey, I found the love of my life back in high school, and we both decided to just throw it away. Well, he’s back. And he came over last night. And we watched a show about tow truck drivers like it was the most normal thing in the world. And he might want to be in my life again.

Might.

The word was doing a lot of heavy lifting.

Was there really anything she needed to know?

I was a grown adult. I could make my own choices. I wasn’t hiding anything—yet—I was just… figuring it out. Testing the waters. Seeing if this thing with Duane had any legs before I introduced it to the most important person in my life.

Lottie was growing up. She was forming her own world now. One that didn’t always revolve around me. Sleepovers and study groups and weekend movies. She was already halfway out the door, and I had to start thinking about what my life looked like beyond the school drop-offs and permission slips.

Maybe that meant I needed to grow up a little, too. Not in the way people usually meant it, but in the way where I gave myself permission to want something. Maybe someone?

I had been with Lee the past fifteen years, but did he really count? The man had another woman the whole time we were together. I was with him… Hell, I had been with him because of Lottie. Looking back, not my best move, but I couldn’t go back now.

Now I really had the chance to make my life what I wanted.

Was that going to include Duane?

I didn’t know. Not yet.

But he hadn’t run. He hadn’t played it cool or indifferent. He had shown up. Sat on my couch. Made me laugh. Let me fall asleep on his shoulder. And that had to count for something.

My phone buzzed on the counter beside me, and I jumped slightly. I reached for it, and my stomach flipped.

Duane.

Hope your headache wasn’t too bad this morning. Got a few things to take care of. I’ll call you later.

I stared at the message, my thumb hovering over the screen. I smiled, just a little.

I typed back. No permanent damage done. Good luck with your things.

Three dots appeared, then disappeared. Then appeared again.

Maybe I shouldn’t have said good luck with your things. I was trying to be cute, but did it come off as a bit catty?

Ugh, I hated texting.

Later, babe

I locked my phone and took another long sip of coffee.

Yeah.

Okay.

That was fine.

Later was good.

I was going to spend all afternoon and night with Lottie, so it was fine that we would talk later.

I tried to quell the panic that was rising in my throat.

This thing with Duane was going to be whatever I wanted. I was in charge now.

I was free to do whatever I wanted, and that included Duane.

Or not.

Or maybe?