Page 45 of Muse (The Forbidden Hearts #1)

SOPHIE

T wo months into my first semester of college, I’m having a blast. I’ve never known freedom like this.

I’m tired, I miss Sal, and still ache for Theo, but I love my classes, and I love my new friends.

I spend my days alternating between various art classes and general education requirements, which I surprisingly don’t mind taking.

Evenings are spent relaxing at the dorm, typically curled up on the couch watching movies with my roommates. Weekends I’m often convinced to go out and explore the city, enjoying local band shows and shopping to our hearts content.

I’m happy. More so than I ever thought possible.

The only thing I haven’t done is date. Despite Angie and Sarah’s best efforts, and even Sal’s when she comes to visit for the weekend, I just can’t. I have no desire to entertain any male attention. My heart and soul still belong wholly to someone else.

Maybe one day that feeling will fade. Maybe one day I’ll want to meet someone, want to find love. But for now, I’m fully focused on my own growth. My own healing. And experiencing all the wonderful things my new life has to offer .

Occasionally though, I’ll catch someone out of the corner of my eye… someone tall, with dark, curly hair. But when I turn, he’s always gone. I’m convinced it’s all a figment of my imagination, my soul still yearning for his.

It’s Saturday morning and I’m walking to the coffee shop up the street, waiting for Sal to arrive.

She’s coming for the weekend and we will go out tonight with the roomies and then spend Sunday being lazy.

Honestly, I think Sal is bored at home. She visits pretty often, especially when Jace is out of town.

I walk into the coffee shop where I’m now a regular and wave to the barista, “Hey, Thomas!”

“Hi Sophie,” he says with a smile. He’s asked me out a couple of times now, but I always politely say no. If I was ready to date, he’d be a great guy to try with. He’s always a gentleman. “Want the regular?”

“Yes, but make it two of them.”

“Late night?” he raises an eyebrow.

“No, meeting up with a friend.”

“Ah, okay. Got it.” His face falls just a bit, and I realize he thinks I meant a guy. No reason to correct him, so I just leave it be.

He finishes up and I pay, taking the drink carrier and stepping back out into the street. I freeze, nearly dropping the drinks onto the concrete. Across the street, inside a shop, I see someone that looks exactly like Theo.

The glare on the glass panes makes it a bit difficult to tell for sure, but I swear, that has to be him. I dart across the street, my heart pounding in my chest, almost colliding with a car. They blare their horn and I jump about a foot high, sloshing coffee onto my shirt.

Great.

No time to hesitate, though. I blow through the doors of the shop and spin in a circle, searching every corner for him, but he’s gone. I spin again, begging the universe to let him be here. Don’t let this be a figment of my imagination.

But he’s not here. Likely never was.

I set down the drinks on the edge of a table and wipe at my eyes, blinking back tears of frustration. Why does my mind keep doing this? It’s just not fucking fair. I want to stomp my feet like a child, throw the drinks at the wall, scream at the top of my lungs.

I don’t. I woman up and take a deep, calming breath, collect my drinks, and head home.

Sal is waiting for me at my place, already having made herself comfortable on the couch. Ashley, another roommate of ours that I’m not as close with, sits by her side as they both zero in on the phone screen in Sal’s hand.

“Hi! What’re we looking at?” I ask, smiling when Sal’s eyes lift to meet mine.

“Ah! Soph!” Sal jumps from the couch, running to give me a hug. “Just scrolling tinder. Much better options out here than we have at home.”

I laugh, rolling my eyes. “Oh, come on, you just got here. Man hunting already?”

“Always, love,” she says with a wink.

I roll my eyes, knowing how unserious she is about men. It's all fun and games for her. She’s never been in a serious relationship, so unlike myself. Opposites attract, they say, and it’s definitely the case with the two of us.

Angie comes out from our room, hair still wrapped in a towel from her shower. “Hey, bitches!”

“Hi, hi!” says Sal, reaching out to give her hand a squeeze. These two became fast friends, though Sal can befriend just about anyone.

“Okay, what’s the plan for tonight?” Sal asks.

Angie jumps in, “I think we are going to the Masquerade, right? A local rock band is playing, should be fun. ”

“Sounds perfect to me,” I say, my mind running away from me for just a moment… To when Theo and I met, just two strangers in a bar. With no idea that he’d become my first true love and also be the first to truly break my heart.

“Nope, snap out of it,” Sal snaps at me. “I see where your mind is going. Don’t do that.”

I shrug, shaking it off. “Can’t help it.”

Angie makes a sad face at me. The girls know I had my heart broken by someone who left, but they don’t know the whole story. They don’t know that he was my teacher, and I plan to keep it that way. At least for now.

“Alright, I’m gonna shower and get ready. Be back out in a few!”

I shut myself in the bathroom, crank up the heat high enough to clear my mind of the beautiful, but now painful memories, and shower away the hurt. Then I get ready to go have fun out on the town.

We decide to take an Uber to the venue, since no one wants to deal with parking when we arrive. It’s too much of a pain downtown. We’re all dressed to the nines, because why not? It feels good to get dolled up, helps me feel alive again.

The venue is already packed, loud music blasting from the speakers as all six of us stalk through the entrance. This is the first time in my life I’ve ever had a true group of friends. It’s a powerful feeling, knowing there are so many people that have your back. It’s a blast, too.

Never a dull moment when all of us are together.

Sal snaps a photo of us and quickly posts it to Instagram, tagging all of us. Such a show off. I giggle at her silliness, though I have a feeling it’s likely done on purpose… I bet there is a certain someone she’s hoping sees it.

We dance and sing, swaying our hips to the beat, getting lost in the music and the crowd of bodies littering the dance floor. Sal finds someone to buy her a drink and she chugs it down as she commands the small space we’ve inhabited, her movements loose and flowy.

After almost two hours of dancing, I run out of steam, and excuse myself. I sneak away to the bathroom, then find a seat at the bar, tucked away in the corner. It takes me a few minutes to catch my breath.

I order a Coke and take it slow, letting the cold bubbles settle on my tongue.

Across the venue, my friends are still dancing, Sal swaying her hips like she owns the place.

I smile, watching her for a second. Then I look away, down at the condensation on my glass, trying to stay present in the moment, trying to be okay.

That’s when I feel it.

Not a touch. Just... awareness. The air shifts, the space around me suddenly thick with tension.

I straighten up, slowly turning toward the voice I haven’t heard in months.

“Enjoying the show?”

I barely hear it above the music, but I’d know that voice anywhere.

I freeze. My breath catches in my throat.

And then I see him.

Theo.

Standing there in the dim bar light, looking exactly the same and somehow completely different. His curls are a little longer. He’s grown out his scruff, more of a full beard now. But it’s his eyes that hit me hardest. Those eyes I used to know better than my own reflection.

I’m already on my feet before I know what I’m doing. And then I’m moving. Fast.

I crash into him, arms wrapping tight around his neck, and he catches me in his arms, lifting me into the air and hugging me tight to his chest.

I don’t cry right away. At first, I’m just breathing him in. Taking in the scent of his skin, the press of his hands on my back, the quiet sound he makes when he exhales. The safety I still feel in his arms, even to this day.

And then I break open.

I start sobbing, loud and ugly, my fists bunching in the back of his shirt.

“You left,” I say into his chest, voice cracking down the middle. “You fucking left.”

I step away from him then.

“I know,” His voice breaks too. “And I’m so fucking sorry.”

“You didn’t even say goodbye. You just… vanished.”

His eyes are glassy now, too. “Because I didn’t trust myself. If I saw you again, I wouldn’t have been able to walk away. And I thought I had to.”

“You don’t get to decide what I can survive, Theo.” I say it quieter this time, but I mean every word.

“I know,” he says again. “I was wrong. I was scared. I thought staying would destroy your future. But being away from you didn’t fix anything. It just hurt.”

I’m shaking now, but I force myself to look him in the eye.

“I needed you.”

He nods once. “I needed you, too. That’s why I came back.”

The crowd blurs behind us, the bar a whirl of background color and noise. All I see is him.

“I didn’t come here to ask for anything,” he says. “I just wanted to see you. To say it out loud.”

“What?”

“That I love you. That I never stopped. That I’ve been working every day to become someone worthy of being in your life. But if you’ve moved on, if you’re okay without me, I’ll go. I’ll respect that. But just know, you will always be everything to me.”

I study his face, the way his hands are still tucked deep in his pockets like he’s afraid to reach for me again .

I don’t know when it happened exactly, maybe somewhere in the middle of all those long nights without him, but I became someone who doesn’t need saving.

And maybe that’s what makes this moment different.

I don’t need him.

But I want him.

“Come home with me?” he whispers, his face an expression of both hope and pain.

I smile, still catching my breath. “You live here?”

“A few blocks away. Not far. I picked the place on purpose.”

“Of course you did.” I shake my head, a quiet laugh bubbling up through the tears.

“You’re allowed to say no,” he adds. “I mean it. I’ll understand.”

I slide my hand into his, our fingers threading perfectly together.

“No. I want to come home with you.”

His breath catches, and for a second, he just looks at me. Like he’s trying to be sure this is okay. That I’m really here, that I’m really going home with him.

Then he leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. It’s soft and careful. Like he’s giving me one more chance to pull away.

I don’t.

So when he kisses me for real, I kiss him back. It’s slow and soft, a little unsure at first, both of us trying to remember how this goes. But then, so quickly, it’s like no time has passed at all. As easy as breathing.

And somehow, it feels both exactly the same and completely new all at once.