Page 39 of Muse (The Forbidden Hearts #1)

SOPHIE

T he next morning, I wait as long as I can before heading downstairs. My stomach is in knots, heavy and unsettled. I don’t want to face them. I know my mother must’ve told my father by now, and the last thing I need is to face his wrath before school. I already feel like shit.

An undercurrent of fear remains, a low and constant pulsing in my veins. Sure, she might’ve accepted my explanation last night, but I know my mother. She is nothing if not determined when she sets her mind on something. She will be watching me now, closer than ever.

I feel the world shrinking around me, the edges closing in, every bit of hope left for Theo and I dissolving into thin air.

Opportunities to be with him evaporating into nothingness.

I have to play it safe, make it to graduation at least. Even better, until I’m away at school, no longer under her watchful gaze.

It’s funny how she pays attention when I’m in trouble, yet seems to vanish the second I do something worth celebrating. She’ll brag to her friends, of course. Share the good news like it’s hers, but there’s never quite enough praise left over for me. Not directly, where I can actually feel it .

When I do finally descend the stairs, I find only my father standing there, gathering his keys and wallet from the entryway table. The light is soft, filtering through the blinds, casting long stripes across the hardwood.

“Morning,” I say, testing the waters. My voice barely cuts through the quiet.

He nods in my direction, eyes not meeting mine. “Morning.” And with that, he’s gone. The door slams shut behind him.

I’m good with that. The fewer words exchanged, the better. Maybe he’s decided to let my mother handle this. He usually does. He never backs me up though, never stands up for me against her crazy. He’s just as complicit as her. His silence is a choice, and a loud one at that.

I grab a snack and a k-cup, fill up a thermos of coffee, and head for school.

The scent is bitter and familiar, grounding me in routine.

I woke up late, so I won’t get time alone with Theo this morning.

I’m too drained from a weekend filled with emotional highs and lows and snoozed my alarm one too many times.

As long as I get to see him, though, I’ll be okay. Just a smile from him is enough to brighten my day.

There are already students seated at their desks when I arrive, Sal included, so I take my seat. I give Sal a quick smile and a soft “good morning,” which she returns without looking up, her face buried in her phone, a scowl plastered there like it’s been frozen in place.

My gaze finds him across the room, his eyes already glued to mine. He raises a brow, just slightly, in question. Probably wondering where I’ve been, why he hasn’t heard from me.

I give him a small smile, though it doesn’t quite reach my eyes. I don’t know how to convey everything across this space, a space that feels like he is a million miles away, even though he’s right there, in front of me. An ocean between us, just across the room.

I’ve never quite felt our distance so keenly. What if we just aren’t meant to be?

I don’t know how to tell him that the risk of this, of us , just tripled. That my mother is questioning me and that her personality pretty much guarantees that she will now be on a warpath to figure out who he is. To find out the truth of what happened that night at the fair.

Especially because it involved her precious Cole getting hurt.

And fuck, I hadn’t even thought about him. Did he get a good look at Theo? Could he identify him? He wouldn’t know him from school. Theo didn’t start until after he’d graduated… but Cole is closer to me in age. We are pretty much unstoppable with social media if we want to be.

My head spins with the anxiety of it all, and as I watch Theo teach, the worry swirling in my gut threatens to overtake me. If I ruined his life, I will never forgive myself. If I lose him, I don’t know that I’ll ever recover.

Somehow, I’ve found the best thing in the world with Theo, yet it may just be the same thing that ruins both of our lives.

He catches my eye multiple times over the course of his lecture, so many emotions and questions packed into every single glance. I know I’ll need to find a way to tell him, but I’m at a loss. I can’t text, can’t talk to him openly.

My chest moves as I sigh heavily, but then I get an idea. I pull a sheet of paper from my bag and scribble a quick note on it.

Parents took my phone. I’ll explain later. I’m okay.

I hesitate, wanting to write I love you, but knowing that isn’t safe. Not that any of what we are doing is. I’m on edge. Every move I make is at risk of exposing us both, of blowing up our lives with one misstep .

I take another sheet of paper out, scribbling nonsense on it, and then hold it over the note in my hand.

I’ll pretend to be turning in an assignment on my way out the door.

When the final bell rings, I do just that, moving quickly so that the throng of students shields me from anyone paying too close attention to my movements.

Sal is on my heels, watching my every move. Theo looks like he wants to stop me, wants to say something, but I don’t give him the chance. This is a small enough town that I’m now too nervous to raise any suspicions. You never know who is watching.

When we get out into the hall, Sal grabs my arm and pulls me to a stop, making me turn to face her. “What is going on?”

“Not now. Later, I’ll explain.”

She hesitates, eyes roving over my face in search of answers. Finally, she nods, letting me go. We walk side by side towards our next classes, and she leaves me where we must split off with a quick wave and a tentative smile.

I have calculus next, my least favorite class. My brain doesn’t play well with numbers, preferring the creative arts to the sciences. Still, I push through, trying my best to pay attention when all I want to do is run. Or maybe scream.

When I’m heading to my next course, computer science, I pass Theo in the hall. He gives me a quick nod, and I sigh in relief. At least now he knows, and I don’t have to worry about him thinking I’m ignoring him. We will have to find a way to talk soon, though, so I can give him the full picture.

I can’t lie, I’m terrified to tell him. For him to know that my mom knows. Not about him, but about the fair… and that she is now watching my every move. Just waiting for me to slip up, to make a mistake.

I wish I could carry this fear, this anxiety, myself.

I don’t want him to have to carry this burden, too.

If I’m being honest… I’m also nervous of his reaction.

Will he pull back, put distance be tween us to save himself?

Will he be willing to continue our relationship?

It’s almost enough for me to hide the truth.

But he needs to know. Needs to be aware of the risk, the scrutiny. It’s not fair to hide it from him, so I’ll just have to put on my big girl panties and tell him the truth, and hope beyond hope that he isn’t found out. That my lie holds true.

It was a stranger. It was no one.

No one important, anyway. My heart aches in my chest, hating that I have to say those things about him, even for our protection—because he is everything.

I get no chances to talk to Theo, and by the end of the day, I’m so mentally exhausted that I just head straight home. The house is empty when I arrive, thank god. I walk into the kitchen and find my phone sitting on the counter, and I almost squeal.

I snatch it up, quickly making note of the fact that it’s still powered off, and boot it up. The moment the screen lights up, I’m pulling up Theo’s contact and hitting the call button. He answers on the first ring.

“Sophie,” he practically breathes out, and my heart squeezes in my chest at his voice. Calm instantly sweeps over me. Just hearing him on the other end makes me feel safe.

“Hi, Theo,” I say. “I just got my phone back.”

“I’m so glad to hear your voice. Today was torture. Are you okay?”

I hesitate, “Yes… and no.” Honesty time.

“I’m almost scared to ask, but… what happened?”

My mind races, my pulse picking up speed, as I try to find a way to frame this.

“Well, my mother heard from her friend. She had some… choice words for me. Said that Mrs. Crenshaw saw me with an older man. Honestly, I think she was more upset about you punching Cole than anything else. But I didn’t tell her who you are, and she doesn’t know.

I just said you were some guy at the fair, that we hit it off, and were hanging out. ”

He sighs deeply. When he speaks again, his voice is low and hoarse. “She didn’t care to ask why I punched Cole in the first place?” The anger in his tone is palpable, even through the phone.

My eyes squeeze shut. “No. And she never will. She thinks Cole hung the moon.”

He practically growls, and it sends ripples of electricity zinging through my body.

“Sophie, I swear to you. One day, you will be around people who deserve you. Who treat you with kindness and love. Your parents… from everything you’ve told me about them…

they don’t deserve a daughter as wonderful as you. And I’m so sorry for that.”

I choke up, holding back a sob at his kindness. At his words that fill me with so much hope. “Listen, I’m going to be really careful. I won’t let them find out it was you.”

“Fuck,” he says, his voice exasperated. “I don’t want to keep my distance from you. But that might be what we need to do, just for now.”

I drop my head into my hands, sliding into a seat at the counter. “I don’t want that either. But you’re right. One more month, that’s it. Then we will be free.”

“Well,” he says, voice dropping, hesitant. “Really, until you begin college and we can see each other in the city. Even once you’ve graduated, no one will take kindly to my dating a student fresh out of high school.”

I sigh, knowing he’s right. Anger tears through me, my temperature rising, and I suddenly feel feverish. It’s so fucking unfair. All of it. Who is to say that what we have is wrong? That our love isn’t real, isn’t worth it?

Fuck them all.

I’ll play the game though, because I have no other choice.