Page 24

He finished his glass of wine and looked around the room again, this seeing Georgiana.

She was standing speaking to Miss Bennet and Mr Bingley.

Lady Rowena was not far away with the Colonel.

He did not see Elizabeth at first, and then he saw her dancing with Mr Collins.

Her face slightly turned away in embarrassment, as Mr Collins continued to misstep in the dance.

His heart clenched at the sight. How could she bear it?

How could he bear to watch it? The urge to intervene, to sweep her away from Collins’ bumbling attempts, was almost overwhelming.

He turned away from them, knowing he would struggle to watch any longer. Lady Rowena and the Colonel greeted him, and then Richard answered his unasked question, “Lady Catherine is to go to our father’s tonight. As is Mr Collins”

“And she is to return to Kent tomorrow with Mr Collins.” Lady Rowena added, “we have been speaking of it. We think you should speak to the Earl.”

“After he has had a chance to meet Mr Collins, of course, and once they have gone.” Richard said with a smile. “I have the feeling my father will view the matter differently after he has met the man himself.”

Darcy was not sure what to say. It was the polite thing to pretend that he did not know what they were speaking of, but he was relieved that they were taking his side in the matter. In the end he settled for thanking them briefly.

The dance finished and the next began. Mr Collins had released Elizabeth and he was walking towards the door.

Elizabeth glanced over at him, their eyes met briefly.

But both quickly looked away, he knew it was too dangerous for the moment.

He decided to join Georgiana, as he had been neglecting her.

She looked at him nervously as he approached. Miss Bennet and Bingley were laughing at something Bingley had said and seemed unaware of the tension of the rest of their party.

“Ah, Darcy there you are,” Bingley greeted him fondly. “We were just wondering what had become of you.”

“I stepped outside for some fresh air,” he replied. He remained with his sister for the rest of the ball. She danced a few more times with a few family members and close friends. Darcy however did not dance again, despite Miss Bingley’s hints and hovering.

He did speak to Elizabeth once more. Georgiana wanted to say goodbye before the Bennets left and he went with her. Georgiana seemed determined. Mrs Bennet was not far away talking to Mr Bingley, she was keeping an eye on him while he spoke to her daughter.

“I understand you are leaving us, Miss Elizabeth.” Georgiana said.

“Yes, we will return to Hertfordshire tomorrow morning.”

“My brother has promised he will let me join him there later on.”

Elizabeth glanced at him in surprise. He understood what she was thinking, that Wickham was in Hertfordshire.

“Only in a month or two when the weather is better,” he said. Elizabeth smiled at this. “Bingley is to return to Netherfield at the end of the week.”

“You are not going with him?” Georgiana sounded worried.

“I will be joining him in two weeks, I have business I need to attend to at Pemberley.”

“But you will be joining us in Hertfordshire?” Elizabeth sharply. There was something in her expression that he could not read. He could not figure out if she wanted him to return or not. Georgiana looked at him quickly, waiting for his answer.

“My business may take a little longer than planned but yes, I intend to return to Hertfordshire.” He said, watching for her reaction.

He decided that he had said enough for the moment, her mother was clearly becoming concerned by the degree of conversation between them.

Georgiana and Elizabeth talked for a few more minutes, Georgiana very boldly asked if she could write to Elizabeth.

She was clearly surprised, but agreed readily and with pleasure.

Mrs Bennet called for her, and Elizabeth made her adieu.

“Good evening Miss Darcy, Mr Darcy.” Their eyes met again, she smiled slightly.

“Good evening Miss Elizabeth.” He said bowing to her, he wanted to take her hand and say more.

But settled for “Until we meet again, Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy said, his voice low and intense.

The words felt inadequate, a poor substitute for all he longed to express.

He silently willed her to understand, to see beyond his restrained exterior to the depth of his feelings.

The words felt inadequate, a poor substitute for all he longed to express. He silently willed her to understand, to see beyond his restrained exterior to the depth of his feelings. But propriety, as always, held him in check.

With only one serious, parting, look, she went away.

* * *

Middleton House - Elizabeth

Georgiana’s request to write to her took Elizabeth by surprise. She glanced quickly at Mr Darcy, wondering if this had been his idea. His expression gave nothing away, but the thought of maintaining a connection to his family, even through his sister, sent a thrill through her.

As Elizabeth agreed to Georgiana’s request, a warmth spread through her chest. The young Miss Darcy’s shy smile reminded her so much of her own sister, Jane.

For a moment, Elizabeth allowed herself to imagine a future where she might have called Georgiana ‘sister’ in truth.

The thought both comforted and pained her, a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.

Mrs Bennet called her then, Elizabeth was acutely aware of the eyes upon them - her mother’s worried gaze, Miss Bingley’s poorly concealed scowl, and the curious glances of other guests.

The weight of propriety seemed to press down upon her, making even this brief exchange feel dangerous.

. All she could risk was a “Good evening Miss Darcy, Mr Darcy.”

As their eyes met, Elizabeth felt a rush of emotions she dared not name. Mr Darcy’s gaze seemed to convey a thousand unspoken words, and she found herself wishing desperately to understand them all.

“Good evening Miss Elizabeth.” Mr Darcy it seemed was bolder, “Until we meet again, Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy’s hand twitched, as if he longed to reach out and take hers. Elizabeth felt her own fingers tremble in response, the ghost of his touch lingering in her imagination.

As Elizabeth turned to leave, she felt an inexplicable urge to look back, to steal one last glance at Mr Darcy. She resisted, knowing that if she did, she might not find the strength to walk away.

Elizabeth and Jane said very little on the way home.

“Did Mr Collins say anything about why they came?” Jane whispered as they were putting their wraps and gloves on.

Elizabeth shook her head. “Only that Lady Catherine had urgent business in town. But the way he looked at Mr Darcy… I fear there’s more to it than that.”

Mrs Bennet too was more silent then was the norm. Mr and Mrs Gardiner were the principal source of conversation. They had had a very pleasant evening and were aware of the tension between Elizabeth and her mother. But we were well-mannered enough to ignore it.

Mrs Bennet stopped Elizabeth as she was about to go upstairs with Jane. “Lizzy, I warned you about Mr Darcy,” she said quietly, Elizabeth had never seen her mother this serious before. She was used to her mother being loud and slightly silly in her options and manners.

“There is too much at risk. You did very well to accept Mr Collins, I had my doubts that you would. You did, but you cannot undo that. Your father will not live much longer and we need this. We need you to marry Mr Collins. You must forget Mr Darcy.”

Elizabeth’s guilt twisted in her stomach, intertwined with the knowledge of her family’s precarious situation.

Her engagement to Mr Collins was meant to secure their future.

By entertaining thoughts of Mr Darcy, wasn’t she, in a way, betraying her family’s trust and needs?

Elizabeth knew, logically, that she had done nothing wrong.

Yet her heart seemed to disagree, filling her with an inexplicable sense of shame.