Page 6

CHAPTER FIVE

TAI

T he hours crawl by, the instructor’s voice droning on about magic theory, fae ranks, and the importance of discipline in harnessing one’s potential. I’d heard it all before when I attended Solstice Academy. It’s been six years since I’ve been out of school, but it feels a lot longer than that.

War will do that to you.

I first served on the frontlines of what us soldiers called The Stolen Queen’s War, fighting under King Grimm’s—one of Nova’s dads—banner, standing shoulder to shoulder with fae who believed we were protecting our realm from an invading force. We were told the vampires had come to tear our world apart, to seize power, to turn us into nothing more than blood cattle. And I, like so many others, fought with everything I had to hold the line.

I killed for that war. Watched cities smolder, rivers turn dark, felt the bite of steel and magic alike. Even as the truth clawed its way through the lies, there was no stopping what we’d set in motion.

The moment the dust settled, and the queen stood, unchained, beside the very mates we swore to fight, we were forced to see the war for what it was.

A mistake.

And yet, reconciliation didn’t erase the blood spilled. The three kings lost their crowns, but not their mate. The fae and vampires forged peace, but not without scars. And those of us who fought? We became ghosts of a battle no one wanted to remember.

Now I’m here, listening to some professor ramble about ranks, magic, discipline like history doesn’t crack beneath our feet, like the old ways still hold weight. Like I didn’t stand on the wrong side of a war that nearly shattered the realm.

I have a lot of regrets about my time serving with the royal guard, which is why I’d asked for reassignment. Instead of distancing me from the kings, it brought me to their doorstep, and I’m beginning to learn why two opposing forces waged war for a female they love.

With startling clarity, I understand it all .

Why men would tear kingdoms apart for a single woman. Why war felt like the only answer. Why peace came at such a bitter cost.

Because now, I know what it means to want.

I know what it is to be bound to someone so deeply that their absence feels like a wound. To crave them in ways that defy reason, to be willing to bleed for them even when you have no right to.

Nova sits with her usual energy in the seat nearest me, though she looks ready to bolt by the last hour. She props her chin in her hand, scribbling aimlessly on the paper provided, her notes more doodles than words.

And judging from the way she keeps reaching into her bag at her feet, pulling little chunks of a granola bar apart and feeding it to her lap? Fang is here, too.

Callum sits a few rows ahead of her, his posture too relaxed for someone in a room full of fae. His red hair catches the light with every slight movement, his easy grin appearing whenever Nova glances his way.

The interaction is subtle—her smirking back, a quick tilt of her head when their eyes meet, flushed cheeks. I recognize interest when I see it, even if the lust pouring off them both weren’t dead giveaways as they unknowingly refuel my magic. It was tough to watch over the summer, and it’ll be even worse now that they’re not under the royal thumb.

My head is throbbing by the time the instructor finally dismisses the class, and the scrape of chairs and the shuffling of papers fill the hall. Nova wastes no time springing to her feet, stretching like she’s been chained to that desk for hours. No effort to hide her boredom, no care for the pointed look the instructor shoots her way before sweeping out.

And then Callum.

He moves toward her with that easy swagger, confidence woven into the way he carries himself. His arm slings around her shoulders, casual as anything, like he belongs there. And maybe he does.

A muscle ticks in my jaw, but I force myself to stay rooted, to keep my expression impassive. This isn't my place to interfere. Can’t be. Even when it feels like someone’s reached into my ribs and squeezed.

Nova doesn’t pull away.

She tilts her head, laughing at something he murmurs, and something inside me twists so hard I almost turn away.

Almost.

Instead, I linger at the edge of the room, hands curling into fists at my sides before I flex them loose again. I made my choice. Bound myself in ways I can’t break. The worst part of summer was having to keep my distance, making her think I walked away because I wanted to.

And now, someone else is slipping into the space I should never have left.

She glances back at me to ensure I’m following, and I give her a nod before she turns back towards the human.

“I was wondering if you’d like to grab dinner,” he says, his tone light but hopeful. His eyes linger on her a little too long to be anything less than absolute infatuation.

You and me both, buddy.

Nova tilts her head, pretending to consider. “Dinner, huh? I suppose I could eat.”

Callum grins, stepping back to gesture toward the exit. “Lead the way, then.”

I clear my throat. There’s no fucking way I can sit there during their date, not when I’m running on fumes. My reserves are dangerously low, so I need to do what I can to give them a boost. They both look back at me, slowing their stride.

“I need to shower. Straight to the commons, and don’t go anywhere else, understood? If you’re not back to the room in an hour, you don’t want me to hunt you down.”

No matter how much I hate to admit it, Callum is a great guy, and I can’t fault him for his crush on Nova. He’s about the only person I trust around here, on account of what he did for everyone in Espero. But that doesn’t mean I won’t strike the fear of gods in him.

Nova rolls her eyes, but the human gives me the answer I want to hear.

“Aye.” Callum grins before they duck through the doorway.

I try to ignore the pang in my heart as I watch them leave. It’s not like I have any claim to Nova’s affections. But seeing her with someone else, their obvious chemistry?

Fuck. It hurts.

I veer off towards Nocturne Hall, swallowing my pride.

But as I turn away, the ache settles deep, a pointed, throbbing thing that duty can’t quite smother. Because keeping her safe is my job—loving her was never supposed to be part of it.

I nod at Sylus as I cross over to my area of the room. He just narrows his eyes at me and returns to his notebook in front of him. Guess he’s still pissed I backed Nova up on the whole bed thing, as though I ever had a choice.

I grab my things and head for the small bathroom. Each dorm room has an academy-supplied allowance for hot water charms, and if we run out, we must use our own magic to heat it. I’m convinced this is used as punishment for the non-magical students who attend.

The door creaks as I push it open, the sound swallowed by the steady drip of a faucet. Apparently, it costs extra magic to prevent the pipes from freezing, so we have to leave the water trickling. The space is clean and functional—no frills, no attempt at elegance. Dark tile lines the walls and floor, glossy enough to reflect the dull overhead light but cold underfoot. The mirror above the sink is spotless, though scratches along the edges hint at years of use. In the little alcove is Sylus's toiletries, and I smirk at the sight of them.

After undressing, I step into the shower stall, the curtain a stiff, translucent barrier that clings when I brush against it. The water comes fast and hot, hissing as it sprays against the tile and pooling at my feet. The heat unfurls over me, loosening the tension in my shoulders and easing the ache in my muscles. Thick steam rises, blurring the hard lines of the room, curling around me, and coating the mirror until it fogs completely.

It’s been a while since I’ve fully topped off my magic—weeks, probably—and apparently, it’s starting to take a toll. A dull ache pulses behind my eyes, creeping down my spine like a slow, insistent burn.

Ever since I woke this morning, magic hasn’t come easily. Normally, to increase my magic reserves, I have to rub one out or feed off the lust pouring off Nova when she thinks I'm sleeping and she's taking care of her own needs. But since last night, no matter how much lust I consume, it drains so quickly.

I can't properly guard her if my magic is running on fumes.

I rest my palms against the wall, letting the water cascade over me as I focus on my breathing. Shuttering my eyes, I run a hand over the back of my neck, dipping lower down my chest. The familiar tingle of arousal stirs as images of her keep intruding—pouty lips, pale eyes, and the way her hair falls in gentle waves around her face when it escapes the pile she wears atop her head. Before I realize it, I’ve drifted lower, my fingers grazing my cock. I let out a shaky breath, conflicted, but hard as steel.

It feels wrong to think of her this way, especially given our circumstances, but I can’t seem to banish the thoughts. I never claimed to be a saint, but tonight, even less so.

Fuck it.

I fist my cock, giving it a slow tug as the water pours over my shoulders. My breath hitches as I stroke myself, trying to keep quiet, imagining her hands on me instead of my own. I bite my lip, stifling a groan as I pick up the pace, already feeling my magic reserves increasing. The warmth of the shower can’t compare to the heat building inside me. I know I shouldn’t indulge in this fantasy, but exhaustion and the immediate need for replenishing my magic has worn away my self-control.

Bracing my arm on the wall, I rest my head against my forearm, my breath coming in short pants as I chase my release. The image of her face, flushed with desire while we were trapped in that closet fills my mind. I imagine the way it felt having her pressed against me, her soft skin against mine. My hips jerk involuntarily as the fantasy takes over, and I can almost feel her lips trailing kisses down my neck, her soft curves molding to my body.

What it would’ve been like had we not been faking it. If I had really yanked her pants down, shoved my cock inside her, and held her hips as I brought her to completion. I know I didn’t imagine her lust that day—the amount pouring off her fueled me for fucking weeks .

The thread of tension pulls tighter in my abdomen, my strokes becoming more frantic as I near the edge.

“Tai?” A quiet voice calls through the bathroom door.

Just hearing my name pass her lips has me letting out a muffled groan as I come hard, spilling over my hand as wave after wave pummels me. I lean against the shower wall, panting, my heart thundering in my ears.

“Are you okay? Sylus says you’ve been in there a while, and you didn’t look so good earlier, just wanted to make sure you didn’t pass out or something.”

Fuck, how long have I been in here? She’s already back from her date? The water, now running cold, tells me it’s been a hell of a lot longer than I thought.

I clear my throat, but my words come out thicker than usual. “Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

The soft sound of her footsteps fades as she walks away from the bathroom door.

I quickly shampoo my hair and scrub my body, already feeling much better. I step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist. Some of my magic reserves have replenished, but a new kind of tension has taken hold. Guilt and desire war within me as I dry off and get dressed.

I can't keep indulging these fantasies about her.

When I emerge from the bathroom, she's sitting on the edge of her bed, her legs tucked beneath her, scrolling idly through her phone. Her messy hair falls in waves around her shoulders, slightly crimped from where her hair tie was around it and catching the scant light of the single lamp she’s turned on.

She glances up as I step into the room, surprise written on her face."Wow, you look ... better." Her eyes roam over me. "That must have been some shower."

I run a hand through my damp hair, averting my gaze. "Yeah, I guess I just needed to rinse off the day." Normally, I’d use magic to dry my hair, too, but I don’t want to tap out.

Sylus snorts, shaking his head. He leans back in his chair, one leg stretched out lazily as he inspects his nails like he couldn’t care less. The snort, however, is deliberate, loud enough to grab attention.

Nova frowns, her stare shifting from me to him.

“Something funny, asshole?” She arches a brow.

His smirk is razor-sharp as he looks up, his eyes flitting between us. “Oh, nothing. Just amused by how quick someone can bounce back from a ‘rough day.’” The way he says it—falsetto and mocking—carries an edge Nova doesn’t catch, but I do.

I keep my face neutral, the tired ache in my head still too fresh to make a barbed retort tempting. Instead, I turn toward Nova, shrugging off Sylus’s bait.

I don’t need this little prick’s antics.

“I’ll feel even better after some sleep.” I cross to my bed.

Nova doesn’t let it drop. “What are you getting at?” She swings her legs over the edge of her bed, planting her hands on her thighs as she glares at him. “You’ve got something to say, say it, pup .”

“I’m just saying some of us don’t need to fuck our fists in the shower to get through the day.” Sylus leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees as his smirk widens. “Your parents know he’s an incubus?”

Nova scoffs. “That’s the best you’ve got? Maybe get some new material before you try to pick a fight next time.”

I stay quiet, lowering myself onto the edge of my bed as I pretend to busy myself with the book on my nightstand. Nova might brush off his comments as typical Sylus nonsense, but I know better. He’s watching me too closely, his scrutiny studying the shadows under my eyes, the tension in my shoulders.

He knows. Hell, he probably even heard.

And he’s testing me.

I glance at the clock. Shit, I was in there for at least seventy minutes. Did I black out or something? I’m so out of it today. What’s happening to me?

“Anyway,” Nova continues, waving a hand dismissively, “why are you even here? Don’t you have some broody alpha meeting to attend where you lick each other’s assholes and howl at the moons or something?”

Sylus shrugs, leaning back again with a lazy grace that’s far too practiced. “Just thought I’d check in on my favorite roommate.” His smirk is back, though his eyes are calculating.

Nova flips him off without looking at him, already turning her attention back to her paper. “Check out faster next time.”

I catch the way his grin falters for just a second before he schools his expression. He stands, stretching as he grabs his coat from where it’s slung over a chair.

“Sweet dreams, Princess,” he says as he heads for the door. The title is enough to make Nova tense, her pen scratching angrily across the page.

He pauses as he reaches the threshold, glancing back at me. His smile is gone, replaced by something far more pointed. “Don’t wear yourself out too soon, Ink. School’s just getting started.”

The door shuts behind him before I can respond to the new nickname.

Nova mutters something under her breath, likely a curse directed at Sylus, but I don’t hear it clearly. My focus is on the remaining tension in my limbs, the dull beat of my depleted magic. I lie back on the bed, closing my eyes for a moment.

“You good?” Nova’s murmur cuts through the fog in my head.

“Fine,” I sigh. “Just tired.”

She hums, clearly unconvinced, but doesn’t push further. As her pen scratches across the paper again, I let the quiet lull of the room settle over me, though Sylus’s parting words linger like an unwelcome guest.

Nova shifts on her bed, tapping her pen against her chin, as though she’s trying to piece together a puzzle. I can almost hear the gears turning in her head.

“You know …” She glances up. “If you need to refuel, you could’ve said something.”

I study her expression. There’s concern there, along with a bit of exasperation.

“I’m fine.” The words sound hollow, even to my own ears.

Nova sets her pen down. “How does an incubus refuel his magic?”

I exhale, turning my head to face her. Nova's never been one to dance around a subject, but this feels different. More personal. I consider deflecting, but the genuine concern in her eyes makes me pause. "You know how," I say softly, not wanting to spell it out. Not to my charge who is completely off-limits.

Nova’s cheeks redden, but she holds my stare. "Right. But ... have you considered other options? There must be alternatives that don't involve ..." Heat creeps up her neck, staining her skin.

“Masturbating?”

Her blush deepens, but she nods. “Yeah, that.”

I can't help but chuckle at her discomfort, even as I feel my own cheeks warm. If it were any other subject, like maiming people, she’d spell it out without so much as a hitch to her voice. "It's not quite that simple," I explain, propping myself up on my elbows. "It's about the energy exchange. Self-pleasure helps a little, but it's like trying to fill a bathtub with a teaspoon, or eating a cracker when you’re starving. It takes the edge off the gaping maw inside me, but it doesn’t truly satisfy.”

Nova nods slowly, processing this information. Her brow furrows in concentration. "So you need ... someone else's energy?"

How the fuck can I word this without getting fired?

I sigh, running a hand through my hair.

"Yeah," I admit reluctantly. "It's not just about the physical act. It's the connection, the intimacy. The sharing of energy and pleasure." I pause, choosing my next words carefully. "But it's complicated. I can't just ... feed off anyone and sustain myself. There needs to be a level of compatibility, a spark. And even then, it's not something I take lightly. It's intimate, personal. Sacred, even. Otherwise, it’s like trying to drink from an empty well." It’s why most of my order settle down young. Or, if you’re like my father, you constantly sleep around to refuel. I want to be nothing like him.

Nova's eyes widen at this revelation. She leans forward, her curiosity clear. "So, it's not just about sex? It's more … you need someone you’re emotionally connected to? Someone you care about?”

I nod. “More or less. I wouldn’t be able to fuel my magic off my family or anything like that—can you imagine how traumatizing that’d be for everyone involved?”

She winces at the thought, her nose scrunching up in disgust. “Ugh, yeah.” Tossing her notebook on the floor under her bed, she sets her pen on her nightstand. “So … have you found someone like that? Someone compatible?”

My throat tightens at her question. My eyes drop to the floor as I consider how to respond. Part of me wants to lie, to brush it off with a casual "no" and change the subject. But something in Nova's earnest expression makes me hesitate.

“After Espero, I’d fueled my magic reserves for a long time.”

Her mouth drops open in a perfect ‘o.’ She tucks her legs under her, propping her elbows on her knees. “So, you did feel something. But you made me believe it was all in my head, that it was all an act.”

I wince at the hurt in her voice. “I didn’t mean to mislead you. It’s just … complicated.”

She narrows her eyes. “Right. Anyway, I’m going to bed.” She glances out the window at the moons sitting high in the sky, ruminating on her words for a moment. “I’ll figure out a way to help top your reserves.”

I feel a pang of guilt as she yanks her covers back, crawls under them, and faces away from me, reaching to shut her light off. It plunges the room into darkness. I sit there for a moment, unsure of what to say or do.

Finally, I stand up with a sigh. “Nova, I?—”

“Don’t,” she cuts me off.

I freeze, my words dying on my lips. For a moment, I stand here, listening to her uneven breathing, betraying the fact that she’s awake, despite her attempt to shut me out.

After a moment, I head back to my side of the room and crawl into bed.

“Goodnight,” I whisper.