Page 36

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

CALLUM

T he cold burrows into my skin, and the dampness of the forest sinks into my bones as I trudge behind Nova’s wolf form. I’m still too warm for my shirt and jacket, so I sling both over my shoulder. The eerie red haze of the moons hanging low in the sky casts terrifying streaks across her pretty fur. She keeps glancing back at me, her pale eyes catching the light. There's something in her stare—curiosity, maybe, or something softer—but it twists in my chest all the same.

“Where are ye takin’ me?” I call out, my breath clouding in front of me. My pulse is still pounding from that rigged fight—part relief that she pulled me out of it, part shame she caught me in such a state. She doesn’t answer, of course, just trots ahead like she knows exactly where she’s going. “You know, communication’s a two-way street, aye? A bark, maybe? A paw wave? Somethin’ to give me a clue?”

She glances back again, her head tilting as if to say, Keep up, slowpoke, before bounding further ahead.

I huff out a laugh, shaking my head. Stubborn as hell, that one. And yet, here I am, trailing after her like some lovesick fool.

Because that’s exactly what I am.

I’ve been avoiding her for weeks now, ever since we got back from Earth.

Since the hotel room shattered everything I thought we were.

The path winds through the trees, the snow up to my knees now, but I trudge along. I flex my fists, the ache from the fight earlier still pulsing through my knuckles. Not that I regret it. I needed that fight—needed to prove to myself that I’m not just dead weight. A human in a world of gods and monsters.

But then she had to go and tear into the guy like I’m some damsel in distress. My heart aches at the thought of her defending me, but it’s tangled with frustration. I don’t need her to protect me, but damn it if the sight of her wolf standing between me and danger didn’t make me feel … something .

Her pace slows as we crest a small hill, the ground leveling out to reveal a clearing. Steam curls upward, shrouding the hot springs in a veil of mist. The sound of gently bubbling water fills the silence, and the air is warmer here, a welcome reprieve from the cold.

I stop at the edge of the clearing, staring in surprise. “So, this is where ye’ve dragged me, aye? Hot springs in the middle of nowhere?”

She pads forward, her tail flicking once as if in answer. My chest tightens as she stops at the edge of the water, her wolf form nearly glittering in the moonlight, though the blood around her muzzle lends to a certain kind of fierceness. And then—just like that—she shifts.

The change is fluid, effortless. One moment she’s a wolf, all feral grace and wild beauty, and the next she’s Nova, her skin pale against the moonlit steam, her dark hair tumbling around her shoulders.

And she’s stark naked.

Christ Almighty.

I whip around, clapping a hand over my eyes, heat rushing to my face. “Nova! A bit o’ warning, would ye?”

Her laugh rings out, soft and lilting. “Relax, Highlander. It’s not like you haven’t seen a naked woman before.”

“Not one I—” I stop myself, gritting my teeth. “Just … give me a second, aye?”

I hear the rustle of something , but I know she didn’t have any clothes with her. What the hell is she putting on?

“Okay,” she says, her voice quieter now. “You can look.”

I turn slowly, half-expecting to find her standing there, arms crossed, with some quick retort on her lips. Instead, she’s crouched by the edge of the water, her arms wrapped around her knees, her stare fixed on the rippling surface. She’s using her hair to cover herself, but it does little to keep the image of her out of my head.

I take a seat a few feet away, my hands dangling between my knees. “So … what’s this about? If ye wanted tae relax, there are easier ways than dragging me through the woods in the middle of the night.”

She refuses to meet my eyes, tension pulling her shoulders taut. Her hand skims the water’s surface, as if the gentle ripples might steady the worry, the anger, and the hurt flickering across her features. “I wanted to talk,” she says at last. “Why were you fighting that fae asshole? Did someone make you do that?”

Alright, I probably deserve her ire. I look down.

My stomach twists at her words, the memories hitting harder than I’d like, of a time when I had to fight, had to kill or be killed. I run a hand through my hair, leaning forward until my elbows rest on my knees.

“No,” I say after a beat. “No one made me do it.”

Her head tilts, but she still doesn’t look at me. “Then why? You know how dangerous that was, right? He was using magic. You could’ve been seriously hurt.” She pauses, emotion caught in her words. “You could’ve died.”

I bark out a bitter laugh, the sound harsher than I intend. “Dangerous? Aye, it was. But I’ve had worse.”

That gets her attention. She fidgets, her arms tightening around her knees as her eyes lock on mine. “Worse?”

I blow out a breath, my jaw tightening. “In Espero, they made us fight. Humans. Fae. Guards. Whoever they could pit against each other for sport. Didn’t matter if ye wanted to or not—ye fought. And if ye didn’t … well, let’s just say the alternative wasn’t an option.”

Her eyes widen, her lips parting as if to speak, but she says nothing. The silence stretches, broken only by the soft babble of the hot springs.

“I fought tae survive,” I continue, my voice quieter now. “Every day, it was life or death. They’d throw me into the ring against fae with magic, against beasts, against anything they thought would entertain the crowd. And somehow, I made it out. I don’t know how, but I did.”

I glance down at the water, watching the way it laps against the rocks. “So, when I saw that bastard using magic in the ring, it—” I pause, shaking my head. “It brought it all back. The fear. The rage. The helplessness. And I couldn’t just walk away. I had to prove to myself that I wasn’t the same scared, powerless lad they threw into those pits.”

Her voice is soft when she finally speaks. “You’re not powerless, Callum.”

I snort, shaking my head. “Aye, but I’m still human. Here, that’s all anyone sees—a human who can’t hold a candle to the fae. Fighting in that ring … it’s not about them. It’s about me. About proving tae myself that I’m more than what they made me. That I’m not just some Earth-born weakling who’s lucky to be alive.” I glance at her, the words slipping out before I can stop them. “I wanted tae feel alive. For once, I wanted to feel like I had control over somethin’. Like I wasn’t just along for the ride.”

Like I’d been just a few weeks ago. A feckin’ fool is more like it.

Her brow furrows, and there’s something in her expression—understanding, maybe, or guilt—that makes my chest ache. “You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Not to me, not to anyone else here.”

The brunt of her words settles over me like a stone in my chest. I don’t know what else to say to that. I want to argue, to tell her she’s wrong, but the truth is, I do feel like I don’t matter sometimes. Like I’m just here, orbiting her world, caught in the gravitational pull of something I can’t escape.

I hold her gaze, my throat tightening. “Maybe not tae you, lass. But tae myself? Aye, I do.”

She is my moon, and I can’t get away, even though she doesn’t want me.

I rub the back of my neck, letting out a shaky breath. “It’s not—” I stop, because what can I even say? That I’m fine? That I don’t feel like a spare part in all this? It’d be a lie, and we both know it.

“I don’t know exactly what’s going through your head, but I know I hurt you. And I know you won’t even let me explain.” She wrings her hands. “I’ve been selfish. I see that now. I’ve been so caught up in my own mess that I didn’t stop to think about what it’s been doing to you.”

I blink at her, startled by the raw honesty in her tone. Nova doesn’t do vulnerability, not like this. It’s unsettling, and it makes my chest ache in a way I’m not prepared for.

“Lass…” I start, but she shakes her head, cutting me off.

“No, let me finish.” She shifts, the water rippling around her as she inches closer. “You’ve been nothing but good to me. Loyal. Patient. And I’ve taken that for granted. I’ve taken you for granted.”

The words hit harder than I expect, and for a moment, I can’t meet her eyes. My throat tightens as I stare down at the water, watching the way the moons dance across its surface. “I don’t do it for gratitude,” I mutter. “I just … I care about you, Nova. That’s all.”

“And I care about you.” When I look up, the sincerity in her expression nearly knocks the wind out of me. “More than I’ve let on. More than I think I realized until recently.”

Her admission feels like a punch and a balm all at once, and I can’t stop the bitter laugh that escapes me. “Aye? Could’ve fooled me.” I did catch her and Tai just about fucking in the hotel room.

Her hand reaches out, brushing against mine resting between my knees. The touch is tentative, like she’s testing the waters, and it sends a jolt through me. “I know I’ve been shit at showing it,” she murmurs. “But I see you, Cal. I’ve always seen you.”

The words twist something deep inside me, something I’ve tried to bury for weeks. “Then why—” I break off, shaking my head. “If ye see me, why does it feel like I’m always playin’ second fiddle? Like I’m just … here?”

She exhales slowly, her hand lingering against mine. “I think it’s because I’m scared,” she whispers. “There are so many things I should have said to you in that hotel room, and all I’ve done these past few weeks is relive all the agony of words I shouldn’t have left unspoken. Because you’re not just here.” She turns to face me fully. “I love that you’re human, you’re imperfectly perfect, and kind, and everything I don’t deserve. You’re someone that feels steady in a world that’s constantly spinning out of control. And I don’t want to fuck that up.”

I stare at her, my mind reeling. The vulnerability in her voice, in her eyes—it’s like seeing a side of her I didn’t know existed. And it makes it impossible to hold onto the anger, the frustration that’s been gnawing at me.

“Ye’ve got a funny way of showin’ it.”

Her lips twitch into the faintest smile. “Yeah, well, I’m a work in progress.”

“Aye,” I say, a reluctant smile tugging at my own lips. “That ye are.”

The tension between us shifts, softening into something else entirely. Something warmer, quieter, but no less intense. And when her hand squeezes mine under the water, I don’t pull away.

“So, were ye just out stretchin’ yer legs, or what?”

“I was on a run when I’d heard all the commotion. Then I found you and … I wanted you to see me. Like this. You’ve been avoiding me, and I wasn’t going to tolerate that anymore.”

“Why?” The word slips out before I can stop it, the implication of it not computing in my head. “Why me?”

Her lips press into a thin line, and for a moment, I think she’s not going to answer. But then she looks at me, her blue eyes soft, but searching. “Because I owe you an apology. Not just for earlier. For … everything.”

I laugh, the sound more bitter than I intended. “Apology for what? For fightin’ my battles for me? Or for whatever this is?” I gesture vaguely between us. This is a head fuck. She’s with Tai.

Not me.

She flinches, but she doesn’t back down. “For making you think you don’t matter.”

The words knock the wind out of me, and I stare at her, stunned.

“I see the way you look at me,” she continues. “And I know I haven’t made it easy for you. But you do matter. To me. To Tai. You’re not just some ‘stupid earthling.’ You’re …” She swallows, her gaze dropping to the water again. “You’re my Highlander.”

My heart gallops in my chest, but I force myself to stay still, to stay quiet, waiting for her to continue until I can’t take it anymore. “And Tai?” I rasp. “Where’s he in all this? I thought you two were?—”

“It’s not what you think,” she says quickly, cutting me off. “Tai’s … complicated. And yes, I care about him, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you, too.”

I run a hand through my hair, exhaling sharply as I search her face for something—anything—to understand what the hell is going on. “Nova, I don’t know what ye want from me. I don’t know what this is.”

She meets my stare, her eyes shining with something I can’t pin down. “I don’t know, either. But I want to figure it out. If you’ll let me.”

The words hang between us, an uncertain kind of fragility in them. And for the first time in what feels like forever, I feel the smallest bloom of hope inside me.

Saying the words out loud feels like shards of glass in my throat, but I force them out, anyway. “Ye love him, though.” I need to hear her say it.

“Yes, I do.”

My heart clenches at the admission, but I swallow down the pain. I’ve known this. Her heart belongs to Tai, always has. It’s why I backed off. But hearing her say it out loud still cuts me to the bone.

It’s all I need to know.

I rise to my feet, and she surges after me, her hand grasping my arm, holding me in place. “Wait.”

I pause, my hard stare locked on her warm eyes, my heart a tangled mess of emotions. “What do ye want me to say?”

She’s an inch from me, completely naked, right in front of my bare chest. My fingers itch to yank her to me, to feel the heat of her skin against mine.

Her hand slides up my arm, her touch electric against me. “I want you to say that this isn’t over. That there’s still a chance for us, even if I don’t have it all figured out yet.”

I let out a bitter laugh, putting some distance between us, but fuck . Shouldn’t have done that. It gives me a wider view of her body, all soft curves and smooth skin. I drag my eyes back to her face, trying to ignore the desire pulsing through me to hold her, to take her and make her mine.

"Ye can't have it both ways. Ye can't keep me dangling, waiting for scraps of your affection while you’re still in love with him. It’s not fair to me. I can’t be your backup plan, lass.”

Her eyes flash with hurt, but I stand my ground. As much as it pains me, I know I'm right, and she does, too.

She closes the distance between us, her hands cupping my face, her thumbs stroking my stubbled cheeks as she pours healing magic into them. “You’re not a backup plan, Callum. You never were.”

Her words slam into me like a hammer, shattering every wall I’d built to keep her out. I want to believe her, gods help me, I do, but the ache in my chest—the one that’s been festering since I saw her with Tai—isn’t so easily soothed.

“Then what am I?” My words are hoarse, edged with all the emotions I’ve been trying to bury. “Because I don’t know anymore.”

Her grip on my face tightens, just enough to ground me. Her pale eyes search mine. “You’re mine.” She smirks up at me. “Tai’s already agreed to share me. We’d already talked about that on Earth and were going to tell you as soon as you’d gotten out of the shower.”

I stare at her, my breath hitching. “He … what?”

“Tai and I talked about this before.” Her voice softens. “He knows how I feel about you. He’s known for a while. And he doesn’t just accept it—he’s okay with it. He wants to share me with you. I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks now.”

My heart stutters, and for a moment, I’m sure I’ve misheard her. “You’re tellin’ me that Tai— Tai —is alright with this? With me?”

The guy who polishes swords for fun? The same one who strings grown fae males from the rafters using his little ghosty ribbons when someone so much as says an unkind thing about Nova?

Her lips twitch, not quite a smile, but something close. “He’s the one who brought it up, actually. He knew before I did how much I care about you.”

The sheer audacity of it all leaves me reeling. “That bastard,” I mutter, shaking my head. “Always one step ahead, isn’t he?”

She laughs, the sound warm, easing some of the tension in my chest. “He is. And he’s right. This can work, if you let it.”

I pull back slightly, enough to see her face clearly. There’s no deceit in her expression, no hesitation. Just honesty. My hands lift to cover hers, holding them in place against my cheeks.

“And you?” I bring my eyes to hers. “What do you want?”

She exhales shakily, her thumbs still tracing soothing patterns over my skin. “I want you. All of you. I want Tai, too, and I know that’s messy and complicated, but I can’t pretend I don’t feel this. For either of you.”

My ribcage tightens, and for a moment, I don’t trust myself to speak. The longing in her eyes, the quiet vulnerability in her voice—it’s everything I’ve ever wanted from her, and it’s terrifying.

But gods help me, I can’t resist her.

“I don’t know if I can share ye,” I admit, my voice breaking. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that.”

“You are,” she whispers, her hands sliding down to rest against my chest. “You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. And I’ll remind you of that every day, if I have to.”

The sincerity in her voice knocks the air out of my lungs. Slowly, hesitantly, I nod. “Alright, lass. We’ll try it your way.”

The relief that washes over her matches my own. She steps closer, her forehead resting against mine, her breath warm against my skin. “Thank you,” she murmurs. “For giving this a chance. For giving us a chance.”

“You better be right about this,” I mutter, the corners of my mouth twitching into a reluctant smile.

She grins, leaning back just enough to meet my gaze. “Oh, I’m always right, Highlander. You’ll learn that soon enough.”

Gods, I hope she’s right. But then a sinister thought sneaks its way inside my head.

“Neither of us are alphas.”

She sighs, putting some space between us. “I know.”

Fear strikes a chord inside me. “You’re an omega, and you’ll die if you don’t get a knot during your heat.” I swallow. “You aren’t going to do those dangerous shots, are you?”

Three omegas have already had to be resuscitated on campus this week because of it.

She hauls air into her lungs before she meets my eyes. “I’m going to go to the heat clinic and use their anonymous heat service.”

The words hit me like a physical blow, and I take an involuntary step back, my mind reeling. "You're going to let some stranger...?" I can't even finish the sentence, the thought alone making my stomach churn with jealousy and dread. I run a hand through my hair, wincing as it tugs at my split eyebrow she hasn’t healed yet.

“We’re both unable to see the other, with mouth guards, and voice modulators. It’s completely anonymous, and I want to do this because I don’t want to be with an alpha.” She manages a shy smile. “Not when I have my betas already.”

I stare at her, struggling to process her words. The thought of her with someone else, even in a clinical setting, makes my blood boil. But I know she's right. As much as it pains me, this is the only way for her to get through her heats safely without resorting to dangerous medication. It’s all the campus has talked about lately—the omegas dropping like flies from the shots.

“How often are your heats?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. Never had one. The first is supposed to be the worst, and then it could be every month, every three months, or every six months. Maybe longer? Who knows? Depends on each person, I guess.”

“And in the meantime?”

The thought of her suffering through her heats alone, with some faceless alpha, twists like a knife in my gut. But what other choice do we have?

She gives me a sad smile. "In the meantime, I'll be with my betas. They'll take care of me, just like they always have. And I hope that I, too, do a good job of taking care of you."

Her words aren’t meant to sting, but they do. Betas. It’s not just a title—it’s a label, one that puts me in a box, neat and tidy. A category that assumes I can be slotted into her life without ever really standing out.

I nod stiffly, though my chest feels tight. The word shouldn’t bother me, not when I’ve been hearing it since most of campus started calling me that. But coming from her? It sits heavier.

She steps closer, her expression softening. “But I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you." She places both of her palms against my abs. "Because there’s this huge power imbalance between us.”

I take a deep breath as I hold her stare. “You think I don’t know that?” My words are calm, but there’s an edge to them I can’t quite smother. “Nova, I ken what I am. I’m a beta—your beta, if ye want tae put it that way. But don’t act like I don’t have a choice in this.”

Her brows furrow, and she opens her mouth to respond, but I keep going. “Ye say there’s a power imbalance, and maybe there is. You’re fae, aye, a royal at that. Wolf fae. Stronger, faster, all that. But that doesn’t mean I’m powerless. If I’m here, it’s not because you’ve got some hold over me. It’s because I choose to be.”

She blinks, startled, as though the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind. Her wolf is watching me, too, I can feel it—curious, cautious, maybe a little infatuated. The intensity of her gaze threatens to undo me, but I push forward anyway.

“Ye think I don’t know what I’m getting into?” I let out a soft laugh, shaking my head. “I’ve traveled with you across realms. I know who you are, and I’m still standing here. Not because I’m some helpless beta who can’t stand on his own, but because I want tae stand beside ye.”

Her lips part, but no words come. I step closer, lowering my voice as I meet her eyes. "Ye want to look after me? Aye, that’s fine—I’ll not argue it. But don’t think for a second I’m not here tae do the same for you. We’re in this together, Princess. Or not at all."

For a long moment, she just stares at me, her breath visible in the mountain air between us. The vulnerability in her expression cuts deeper than I expect, and for a moment, I wonder if I’ve pushed too hard.

Then, slowly, she exhales, and the smallest smile tugs at her lips. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Aye.” My own grin tugs at the corners of my mouth. “But you’re stuck with me.” I hold up the ring I haven’t had the heart to take off.

Her laugh is soft, barely more than a breath, but it’s real. When her fingers brush mine this time, it doesn’t feel like hesitation. It feels like understanding.

That’s when I catch that she’s still got her ring on, too. Something warm blooms inside me at the sight of it.

“You’re not what I expected,” she says, her voice quieter now, her eyes softer.

“And yer exactly what I knew ye’d be.” I’d expect nothing less.

Her cheeks flush, and for the first time, I feel like we’re finally speaking the same language.

She shivers as a powerful gust of wind blows through the trees.

“C’mere.” I pull her into my arms, shielding her from the cold. “You shifted without your clothes again.” I chuckle.

She nuzzles into my chest, her bare skin like silk against mine. “I could steal yours.”

“I’d let ye.”

“We could get in the water,” she whispers.

“We could.” I grin down at her. "Do ye enjoy watchin’ me suffer like this?"

The little minx gets a mischievous glint in her eye as she pulls away and darts towards the water’s edge. She crooks a finger at me, beckoning me to follow as she dips her toes in.

"If ye keep lookin’ at me like that, I’ll no be responsible for what happens next," I warn her. "I’m only a man, Nova. Ye’ve got tae stop torturin’ me."

She parts her hair, so it falls on each side of her full breasts. My eyes follow the curve of her body as she wades deeper into the water, letting it rise up her thighs, her hips. All the steam does is make this feel like I might be dreaming.

“Maybe I like torturing you,” she teases.

And I’d fucking let her, too, and ask for more. "Christ, lass, ye’ll be the death o’ me."

I shake my head with a chuckle as I pull the loop on my belt and drop my jeans. Toeing off my boots, I kick both of them into the snow. “They always ask what a Scot wears under his kilt.” I step out of them and give her a cheeky grin. “Turns out, the answer’s the same for jeans.”

Her eyes widen for a split second before she bursts out laughing, her hand flying to her mouth. “Callum?—”

“What?” I shrug, kicking my jeans aside and standing there, unapologetically commando. “Ye wanted honesty, didn’t ye?” I glance down, noting my good little soldier, standing at attention. Quite large by human standards, sure—but next to a fae, I ken it’s a bit like bringing a sword to a fight where the other lad’s wielding a battering ram. Doesn’t mean I’m backing down, though. “I don’t ken about fae,” I say with a wry grin, shivering as the cold air bites at every inch of exposed skin. “But for human men, cold like this do nae exactly … flatter a man’s attributes, if ye catch my meanin’.”

Nova tilts her head, brows knitting together as she stares at me, clearly puzzled.

I chuckle as I step closer to the steaming water. “Och, lass, I mean it shrinks things, aye? Makes us look a wee bit … underwhelmin’.”

Her confusion evaporates in an instant, replaced by a peal of laughter that sings through the trees, like a flock of songbirds taking flight. It’s a beautiful sound, one I want to hold in my hands and marvel at.

“You did not just say that.”

“Aye, I did.” I grin as I sink into the hot springs with a hiss of relief. “It’s best to manage expectations, ye know. No’ every man’s got the luxury of fae perfection.”

Her laughter bubbles over, the sound wrapping around me like the warmth of the water, and for the first time in weeks, the tension between us feels like it’s melting away.