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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

NOVA

P ain rips through me like a thousand blades, each twist and turn carving deeper into my muscles, my bones, my very soul. My wolf howls in protest, thrashing against the magic forcing her to retreat. But there’s no escape. The power grips me, all-consuming, dragging me out of the safety of my wolf form and back into my skin.

The air feels like ice against my exposed body, the sudden vulnerability barreling through my shock. I collapse to the bed—Sylus’s fucking bed—my breaths coming in short, shallow gasps as my trembling hands claw at the mattress to right myself. My wolf’s protests fade into silence, leaving me with nothing but the sound of my own ragged breathing and the searing humiliation coursing through my veins.

Naked. I’m naked.

“Don’t—don’t look at me!” My voice cracks as I climb to my knees, my hands moving to cover myself. Heat burns my cheeks as I avoid everyone’s stare, the reality of the situation crashing down on me. Sylus is here, Tai is here, Callum is here, and a fucking professor is here. Gods.

I scramble off the bed, and Tai’s coat lands on my shoulders, his hand lingering for a moment before he pulls back. “Nova?—”

“Don’t.” I cut him off, jerking the coat tighter around me as I back toward my side of the room. My legs are unsteady, barely supporting my weight as the shame threatens to swallow me whole. “Just ... don’t.”

I grab the first clothes my shaking hands can find—a hoodie and leggings I’d shoved into the corner of my bed—and tug them on as quickly as I can. The fabric sticks to my sweat damp skin, but I don’t care. I need to get out of here. Now.

“Nova, wait!” Tai calls after me, his tone pleading.

But I can’t stay. I can’t face them. Not after ... not after that. Without a word, I shove past them and bolt for the door, the cold air of the hallway a relief as I run.

Fang finds me as soon as I hit the edge of campus, her sleek form weaving through the shadows until she’s at my side. She always disappears for weeks at a time, doing gods-knows-what, but I’m really freaking glad she’s here now. Her soft mewls are a lifeline, grounding me as I sprint into the woods, desperate to put as much distance as possible between me and that dorm room.

Between me and Sylus.

Between me and myself.

The trees close in around me, the icy wind cutting through my thin hoodie and chilling me to the bone as I make my way through the dense forest behind campus. But I don’t stop. I can’t. My feet pound against the frozen earth, my breath coming out in uneven gasps that billow in the air like smoke. Fang keeps pace, her small paws silent against the ground, her presence a quiet reassurance in the absolute chaos of my thoughts.

I don’t know how long I run. The cold sinks into my muscles, slowing my movements until I finally collapse onto a snow-dusted log far into the woods, my legs trembling and my chest heaving. Fang jumps onto the log beside me, her tail curling around my ankle as she presses her tiny body against mine, nuzzling against me.

I bury my face in my hands, the weight of everything crashing down on me all at once.

My wolf.

Sylus.

The professor having to intervene.

The sheer, excruciating humiliation of shifting back naked in front of them all.

My fingers dig into my scalp, and I let out a low, frustrated groan that’s swallowed by the quiet of the woods.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I should have known. I should’ve been prepared for this, for the moment my magic came in. But I wasn’t. I spent my entire life refusing to acknowledge what I might be, burying my head in the sand and praying to the fates to make me anything but this.

And they ignored me.

They made me just like him . Just like my father.

The memory of Sylus’s eyes—so intense, so impossibly amber—flares in my mind, and my stomach twists. The way my wolf had submitted to him, the way she’d begged for him, makes my skin crawl. That wasn’t me. That wasn’t me . And yet...

A quiet whimper escapes me, unbidden. Fang chirps in response, nudging her tiny head against my arm as if to remind me I’m not alone.

But I don’t want to be reminded.

I want to forget.

The tabloids were right. I’m a monster.

“I can’t do this, Fang,” I whisper, my voice cracking under the weight of my emotions. “I can’t be like this. I can’t be like him .”

The monster who made me.

I hoped I wouldn’t be. Prayed to the fates not to make me a wolf fae. But they hate me, and now? I hate them.

Fang stretches out on my lap, her warmth a small comfort against the cold. Her purring vibrates softly, lulling me into a tenuous sense of calm as the wind rustles through the trees, lifting my hair. The night feels endless, the darkness enveloping me, but I stay here, frozen in place, too scared to move.

Too scared of what I’ll become if I do.

The cold leaches into my bones, but I welcome it. Anything to smother the shame burning inside me. Anything to feel something other than this spiraling, choking despair.

You could let me take over, and I can keep us warm.

Shut up, shut up, shut up! I claw at my skin, trying to dig her out of me as I shriek, but it’s no use. All it leaves behind are scratches in my flesh, little drops of blood welling in their wake.

I draw in a shaky breath, staring at the frost-covered ground beneath my boots, watching as my tears fall in earnest. I could run. Shift and never come back. Disappear into the wilderness, let the wolf take over, lose myself completely.

No . I chase the thought away. The monster who made me kidnapped my mom. Tortured her and my dad. For months. And raped her over and over again. This is what I’ll become because I took after him instead of her .

It’ll destroy her to learn I’m a wolf fae. As if she needs another reminder of what he did to her.

A daughter bred in violence.

A wolf born of suffering.

My stomach twists, bile creeping up my throat. My breath comes too fast, too shallow, and I fall to my knees, bracing myself, fingers digging into the snow like I can hold myself together through sheer force of will.

Fang leaps onto my vacated spot on the log, tucking her paws under her and staring up at me.

“I can’t, Fang. I can’t.” Sobs wrack my body while I try to swallow past the lump in my throat, but it’s useless. I’m drowning in the truth.

This is who I am.

The thing I feared most.

I shake my head, panic clawing its way up my ribs. My mother survived him, but she still carries the scars. She still flinches sometimes. And me? I’m what’s left of that nightmare, walking proof of what he did to her.

A fucking monster in his image.

A strangled whine escapes me, my wolf clawing to break free. The urge to run cleaves through my gut, but where could I go? Where does something like me belong?

Nowhere.

A daughter conceived in violence doesn’t get a pack.

She gets a cage.

I must stop this before it gets any worse.

The thought slithers through me, dark and insidious, as my hand drifts toward the dagger at my hip. A weapon I always carried but never truly considered using—not like this.

My pulse pounds against my ribs, and I squeeze my eyes shut, hot tears tracking down my cheeks.

No. I can’t let Fang see this.

She chirps, tilting her tiny head at me, her star-speckled eyes too knowing.

“Go,” I whisper, my voice hoarse. “You shouldn’t be here.”

She doesn’t move.

My fingers tighten around the dagger’s hilt. “Fang,” I choke out. “Please.” When she stays put, I shriek. “GO!”

She lets out a soft, reluctant trill before she disappears into the darkness, her tiny form slipping between the trees.

A ragged breath shudders through me.

I press the dagger to the inside of my wrist, watching as blood wells before I stop myself. I don’t want them to find me here like this.

The dagger drops from my fingers, falling handle-side up. My blood soaks into the snow like ink on cotton.

I shift my focus, latching onto a desperate alternative. My magic. It’s still new, still untamed, but it is mine. And maybe, just maybe, I can leave no trace.

Closing my eyes, I drag air into my lungs, focusing on the core of warmth inside me.

The heat flares within me, a wild force threatening to consume me from the inside out. I focus on it, letting it build until my skin feels like it might crack and splinter from the pressure.

A scream tears from my throat as the magic bursts from my hands, a searing wave of energy that ripples outward, scorching the snow and lighting the trees on fire. The force of it sends me flying backwards, my body slamming against a boulder. Pain explodes through my back as I collide with the unforgiving stone, robbing my lungs of air.

For a moment, I can only lie there, gasping, as the flames crackle and roar around me, painting eerie shadows across the snow, as thick plumes of smoke blot out the moons.

I struggle to push myself up, and decide I don’t need to climb to my feet. Instead, I tuck my knees against my chest and wrap my arms around my legs as I wait for the fire to claim me.

The heat is suffocating, the smoke and tears stinging my eyes and choking my lungs. I bury my face against my knees, trying to block it out, trying to find some small measure of peace before the end.

Please don’t, my wolf whimpers.

Go away.

They need us.

That makes me sob harder. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

A gust of wind blasts through the burning trees, sending embers spiraling like dying stars. The crack and crash of splintering wood echoes around me, but I don’t move. I can’t move. The fire crackles closer, licking at the edges of my senses, searing through my awareness.

Maybe this is better. This is what I deserve.

The sound of something—someone—barreling through the underbrush shatters the silence between my sobs. Branches snap. Heavy footfalls pound against the scorched earth, fast, frantic.

“Nova!”

Tai.

A fresh sob rips from my throat, breaking into a raw cough as the smoke scorches its way up. I don’t lift my head. If I do, I’ll have to see his face, and if I see his face, I’ll have to see the horror in his eyes, the fear of what I’ve become.

Tai yanks me against him, holding me so tight as he inspects my injuries. “Stay with me, love,” he murmurs, his breath stirring the damp strands of my hair.

A deafening crack splits the air. The fire roars, swallowing another tree, and this one teeters, its charred trunk groaning before it pitches forward.

He doesn’t hesitate.

With a snarl, he thrusts a hand outward, shadows coiling from his fingertips and expanding into a barrier around us. Magic hums, forming a dome of pure energy just as the burning tree crashes down. It smashes against the shield in an explosion of embers, the impact rattling through my bones, vibrating my teeth.

I squeeze my eyes shut, bracing for the heat, the pain?—

Nothing.

Tai’s magic holds, absorbing the force of the collapse, his shield reverberating beneath the weight of fallen branches and burning debris. He doesn’t falter. His arms tighten around me as if daring the flames to try again.

I choke on a sob, gripping his shirt with trembling fingers. “I—I can’t?—”

“You can,” he grits out. Another tree splits, sending a rain of fiery splinters in our direction. His magic ripples in response, reinforcing the barrier before the embers can touch us. “But not here.”

He turns, one arm hooking under my knees, the other supporting my back. He lifts me effortlessly, holding me close as the air outside the shield grows thick with smoke. My head lolls against his shoulder, but I don’t protest as he carries me away from the destruction.

The ground shakes with every tree that falls, the fire raging in its path, devouring everything. Tai doesn’t stop.

Branches snap against his barrier as he barrels through the underbrush, vaulting over a smoldering log, his breathing steady even as the heat claws at his back.

I feel the moment his magic strains—when the weight of the destruction starts closing in. The shield flickers.

He snarls and pushes harder, tightening his hold on me as the last of his power stretches thin.

The blockade shatters just as we break free of the blaze. Magic splinters like glass, vanishing into the night.

He stumbles, dropping to one knee, but he keeps me held against him, shielding me with his own body as embers swirl past. His breath is labored, his pulse a frantic beat beneath my palms.

“Nova,” he rasps, eyes darting over me. “Are you hurt?”

I can’t answer.

All I feel is this all-consuming dread because I don’t want to live anymore. I don’t want to be this anymore.

A wail builds in my throat, and I bury my face against his neck to stifle it. Tai’s arms tighten around me, one hand cradling the back of my head as I tremble against him. “Shh. It’s alright, you’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

But I’m not. I’ll never be safe. Not from myself.

“Talk to me, baby.”

“I can’t do this,” I croak.

His fingers card through my hair, holding me to him. “Do what?”

“Live like this.”

“ What? ” He pulls back, a look of abject horror in his glassy eyes as they search mine. “Don’t say that. Don’t even think that.”

I shake my head, tears blurring my vision. “You don’t understand. I’m a monster.” Sobs wrack my frame.

Tai’s hands cup my face, forcing me to meet his stare. “Listen to me, baby. You are not a monster. You hear me? You’re the furthest thing from it.”

I try to turn away, but he holds me steady, his eyes blazing with fire.

“You don’t know the things I’m capable of. I’ll destroy everything.” Self-loathing coils in my gut like a poisonous snake.

“I know exactly who you are.” His thumbs brush away my tears. “Your magic has just come in, and because you’re a shifter, your hormones are all over the place. Okay?” His magic is a quiet pulse against my skin. “You need to find your center, love. Let me help.”

I shake my head, choking on the tangled mess of emotions threatening to consume me. “I don’t know how.”

“You don’t have to. Just breathe with me.”

The world spins, too much, too fast—fire licking at the sky, the scent of scorched wood thick in the air, the pull of something ancient twisting inside me. I want to believe him, but I feel wrong—split open, untethered, caught in a current too strong to fight.

Tai exhales through his nose like he’s made a decision. “Hold still.” His hands slide from my face, fingers ghosting down my arms before he takes my hands in his own. Warm, solid. A single point of contact in the chaos of my mind.

“Breathe with me,” he murmurs, guiding my hands to his chest. His heartbeat thrums steady beneath my palms. “Feel that? That’s real. That’s now. Match it.”

I shake my head, my breath coming too fast. “Tai?—”

“Trust me, love.” His hands tighten around mine. “Just close your eyes. Feel your body. Your bones. The shape of who you are—not the nightmare you think you’ve become.”

His magic hums at the edges of my senses, slipping between the cracks, a whisper of heat against my skin. My body wants to reject it, too raw, too new, but Tai doesn’t force it. He lets it sit there, weightless.

“I’m here,” he says, his voice a low anchor. “I’ve got you.”

My heartbeat stutters, my mind still fracturing at the edges, but I focus on his pulse beneath my hands. Strong. Steady. Real. I repeat the cycle, my breath syncing with his, matching his rhythm until the suffocating weight in my chest loosens, just a little. The rage, the panic, the self-hatred—none of it disappears, but the edges dull, no longer sharp enough to cut me open.

The pull of the fire, the storm inside me—it doesn’t go away. But it settles. Enough.

He watches me carefully, his hands never leaving me. “That’s it, baby. Keep going.”

Something inside me steadies. Not completely. Not perfectly. But enough. He exhales, pressing his forehead to mine. “That’s my girl.”