Page 28 of Missed Steps

Tommy chokes.

I pat his back as he tries to breathe. He’s teary-eyed and red-faced when he stops coughing. “NowthatI wasn’t expecting. How did that come about, exactly?”

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it. In fact, I thought of little else all weekend and tired myself out entirely. I was happy for it. I’ve gone from not being able to orgasm for months, to managing it several times in one weekend. It’s not something I’ll ever be able to discuss with a doctor or a shrink, but I’m pretty sure it’s a positive sign for my recovery.

“I guess I wasn’t as shy once the pills kicked in.”

“That makes—” Tommy’s eyes narrow. “Wait. You two didn’t hook up while you were high, did you?” There’s an edge in his voice. “Because if Mark—”

“We didn’t,” I say.

“And he better not have—”

“He didn’t.”

“Just because you like him doesn’t mean it’s okay for him to—”

“Nothing happened, Tommy,” I repeat, making him meet my eyes to interrupt his tangent.

“Okay.” Tommy relaxes. “So what happened? How did he respond?”

“He said nothing’s going to happen, so stop with the…” I trail off, sinking in my seat as my face warms.

“Go on,” Tommy encourages. There’s a glint in his eye; he’s enjoying this. “It’s just me. You don’t need to be shy.”

“…the verbal porn.”

Tommy coughs, poorly disguising his laugh.

“He was really nice about it after, too,” I add. I’m sure my face is bright red. “And…do you think, well, I don’t know for sure, but I got the impression that maybe he’s interested in me, too?”

Tommy looks amused by my suggestion.

I lick my lips, unsure. “Am I way off-base? I mean, I have been a dick to him for two whole years…”

“Do I think the guy who basically told me to fuck off so he could be alone with you, couldpossiblybe interested in you?” Tommy asks, rephrasing the question. “The potential is there, Kyle. And another way of looking at your two years of being a dick to him, is that he hasput up with youbeing a dick to him fortwo whole yearsand keeps coming back for more.”

I mull that over. “At the very least I know he can like guys,” I say.

“We knew that already.”

“We did?” I glance at Tommy.

“Ah.” Tommy winces, and from the way he glances at me and away, I can tell that was a slip of the tongue.

“Tell me,” I demand.

“He uh…Louis and Mark have hooked up before.”

I stare at Tommy, uncomprehending. Then I peer across the cafeteria to where Louis and Bethany are waiting for their food at the end of the counter. “Louis?”

“Yeah.”

“And Mark?”

“Yeah.”

I glance back at Tommy. “When was this?”