Page 20 of Missed Steps

They both turn me down.

“There’s tea and coffee, too,” I add.

I’m turned down by both again.

“You have accounting with Louis for a double, right?” Tommy asks, typing on his phone. “I’ll tell him to record the lecture for you. I don’t know anyone in your economics class, but Bethany is friends with people in your business law module. I’ll have her message them.”

I eye him. I’ve been studiously ignored, but apparently studiouslystudied,too. “Who told you my classes?” I ask.

Tommy doesn’t even glance at me.

I snort. “Bethany, right?”

“Eddie is in your economics class,” Mark says. “I’ll have him send me his notes for the lecture. His older brother teaches in primary schools so he—”

“Don’t,” I say, my voice coming out shrill. Tommy pauses typing to look at me, and Mark stares right at my face. I work my jaw over several times, trying to get an apology out for snapping but I’m unsuccessful. My heart is racing. Mark’s brows pinch together, confusion filling his eyes.

“Alright,” Mark says calmly.

Regret bubbles up.

Mark glances at my plate. “Are you done eating?” It’s an obvious diversion, but one I’m grateful for.

I have eaten about a third of the food. I nod.

“Is that enough to take the painkillers?” Mark asks, directing the question solely at me.

“It is,” I answer. I reach for the bag. Mark intervenes, swapping my plate with the bag as he stands. He puts the plate into the kitchen and then quickly sits next to me again. I swallow two pills and lean back as I wait for them to kick in. I haven’t had to resort to them very often, thankfully. The most painful part of all of this were those first few weeks; and the hospital kept me heavily medicated for most of it. Drugged, and totally alone, it had been difficult to think about anything beyond my missing limb.

Mark eyes up Tommy. Tommy notices and looks up from his phone. They stare off for a long few seconds. I’m about to say something when Tommy stands up.

He meets my gaze. “I’m going to head out, unless you’d like me to stay longer?”

“I’m good,” I answer. “Thanks for coming.”

He shakes off my thanks. “That was for me. I’ll see you at college, right?” He pats my shoulder lightly on the way out, and you’d swear Mark didn’t even exist for all the acknowledgement he got.

The second the door shuts, Mark is on his knees in front of me. “Okay, let me—”

“Whoa, whoa,” I catch his hands.

Mark keeps folding up my trousers as he gives me a questioning look. “Yes?”

“The pills haven’t kicked in yet.”

Mark pauses. “You weren’t just saying that because Tommy was here?”

I shake my head. “No. It’s going to hurt when I take it off, so I want to wait.”

Mark grimaces. “You don’t have anything to knock you out, do you?” He rolls the trousers back down.

“Like, a bat?”

Mark chokes. “No,not like a bat.”

“A rolling pin?”

“A pill, Kyle. Medicationof some description,” Mark says emphatically, clearly unimpressed with my joke.