Page 33 of Misfit Monsters (Pack of Outcasts #1)

Periwinkle

“ P eri!” Fen catches me in the dorm common room while everyone’s heading out for breakfast. My friend exudes happiness like a shower of gumdrops.

I have to grin back at her. “Did you get good news?”

“Not exactly. Last night, I met a new being who just arrived at the academy. She’s a selkie, so she knows all about watery powers.

And she’s really nice. She gave me some tips on keeping mine held in.

I think it might be enough for me to finally get the hang of it!

You’ll like her too. She’s in one of the other dorms, but we can sit with her in the cafeteria. ”

I keep smiling through Fen’s deluge of excitement, but my stomach tightens. She made a new friend twelve hours ago, and they might already have solved her biggest problem?

She’s never been this overjoyed any time we’ve spent together .

Why should she have been? I gave her company and encouragement, but it isn’t as if I ever really helped her, is it?

I brightened her day a little, stopped her from feeling lonely, but my presence hasn’t had any more impact than one of those flickering glows that passes over my hair and disappears.

“That’s great!” I tell Fen, and I mean it. If she can stop herself from accidentally conjuring water in awkward situations, the other students won’t have any reason to make fun of her. She won’t be at risk of exposing her powers to humans.

She’ll be able to move through the levels at the school, visit the voluntary student building, make lots more friends…

She’s been nothing but kind to me since I arrived here. Of course she deserves to find her footing and her place in the world.

It isn’t her fault that alongside my happiness for her, I’m deflating like an undercooked souffle.

Fen rubs her hands together eagerly. “She used to live in the sea. I’ve never been to one of those. Have you seen an ocean before?”

I have vague memories of a big expanse of water almost the same color as my hair, from long before I knew about sorcerers and cages. “I think so. One of the first times I came to the mortal realm.”

In my distraction, I bump against one of our fellow students in the hall. Or maybe she bumps into me, but because it’s Vim, our classmate who’s always posturing like a pro wrestler, she looks peeved anyway.

She rolls her eyes at me and grimaces. “Can’t even walk straight, and you think you have so much amazing advice for the rest of us.”

As Vim strides off, Fen knocks her elbow playfully against mine. “She just wishes she had as good a friend as you. How soon do you have to leave again? Brine is starting at level two, but she might be in one of our classes this afternoon anyway.”

Her compliment combined with the reminder of her much better friend twist up my gut into a heavy if petty lump. I suddenly can’t imagine forcing any food down my throat.

The words tumble out before I have a chance to think better of them. “Actually, I can’t even come to breakfast. We’re supposed to leave early this morning—I need to finish preparing.”

Fen frowns, but my excuse only dampens her joy a little. “That’s too bad. Well, you can meet Brine the next time you’re back. How much longer do you think Rollick is going to keep you on this special assignment before he decides you’re safe to go back to regular classes?”

“I don’t know. Hopefully we’ll be done soon.” Although what Rollick is going to decide based on how much—or little—I’ve contributed, I have no idea.

Does being the team cheerleader count for something?

I grab her hand in a quick squeeze. “We’ll be able to hang out again soon. I’m glad you’ll have Brine to keep you company while I’m gone.”

Part of controlling my powers is knowing when to back away from a situation that’s stirring up unruly emotions, right?

I tell myself that, but parting ways with Fen at a split in the hall still feels like running off with my tail between my legs.

How can I be a good friend if I’m getting upset the second she makes a new one?

I don’t actually have any final preparations to make. I wander aimlessly until I spot one of the sliding glass doors that leads to the building’s inner courtyard.

Most of the reform students are at breakfast. There are only a couple of beings lounging together on one of the benches, and a few others sitting cross-legged on the patio stones playing a game with shiny tokens.

I veer away from them toward the garden area at the other end of the courtyard. Amid the flowering bushes, I sink down on the firmly packed dirt and lean against the slim trunk of a small tree.

I draw my legs up to rest my chin on my knees. An ache I don’t totally understand spreads through my chest.

A burn of tears that makes even less sense forms behind my eyes. What’s wrong with this human-like body?

I squeeze my eyelids shut as if I can push the moisture back that way.

Everything is fine. We’ve made progress with our mission. My best friend is closer to moving up in the levels. I’m keeping my emotions in check right now, not letting them overwhelm me or burst out.

But I can’t stop myself from seeing Vim’s mocking sneer.

Jonah’s uncomfortable expression yesterday when he explained that the way I make him feel is in violation of his job.

The anger flashing in Hail’s eyes before he stormed off the other night, because I wouldn’t ignore the uneasiness I could tell he was feeling.

I open my eyes again, trying to dismiss those memories, and the bushes in front of me rustle. A furry red face pokes between the leaves with ears perked.

The fox cocks his head at the sight of me and then leaps through the gap between the plants. He rolls onto his back with a whirl of his five tails like he’s a helicopter about to take off. With another flip, he flings himself right up into the air, seeming to actually hover for a few seconds .

Then he whips his body around so that he lands cushioned on those same tails with an immensely pleased expression.

A giggle breaks through the ache that’s gripping me. The animal offers a very foxy smile and ripples into Mirage’s human-like form, other than the furred ears above his human ones that he doesn’t bother to retract.

He tips his head to the side much like he did as a fox and speaks in a mischievous hush. “What are you doing hiding away in here, Rainbow? Some new sneaky mission?”

Another laugh bubbles up, but my tumultuous emotions stew around it.

I rub my face. “I needed a little time alone.”

Mirage’s smile vanishes. He moves to retreat. “I won’t bother?—”

“No.” I catch his sleeve before he can pull out of reach. “I’m glad you found me. Watching you play cheered me up.”

The fox shifter smiles again, but in a more subdued way than before. His ears flick away within his ruddy locks.

He lifts his hand to trail his fingers over my hair. “Why are you blue, Rainbow?”

My lips twitch with a hint of amusement at his phrasing, even though the question is serious. “No good reason. I guess I’m trying to figure that out. It feels like… like I know what I want to be doing in the world, but I have no idea how to do it. Nothing I try works.”

Mirage hums. He sits down by my side, facing me, and keeps twisting a strand of my hair into a corkscrew curl. “What do you want to be doing?”

“Making people feel good,” I say automatically. “Happy, safe, excited, proud… All those things.”

“And what makes you think that you’re not?”

An awkward flush creeps up my neck. “Other than my outbursts where I literally hurt people? I don’t see it happening very much, and I do see people getting annoyed or upset with me.”

Mirage lets out a soft huff. “You don’t annoy me.”

I look over at him, meeting his bright brown eyes. “I did sometimes. You seemed irritated the first time I talked to you.”

The fox shifter opens his mouth and closes it again.

He droops his gaze with an abashed expression.

“It wasn’t really you bothering me. You were being kind.

I… It’s scary feeling that someone is safe to be around, because if they’re safe then there are other things I might want to talk about, but I don’t even want to think about them, and?—”

He cuts himself off, his eyebrows rising as if he’s surprised himself.

With a rough laugh, he nuzzles my cheek in a way that sets off giddy quivers over my skin. “Like that. But now that I’ve been around you more, I think maybe… it will feel good to talk when I let myself. Better than running away. You let me see that.”

A lump fills my throat. I don’t know everything that’s haunting this charmingly erratic man, but there’s no mistaking the gratitude in his voice.

Is it possible I’ve helped Fen in ways I haven’t seen too?

I touch the side of his face, running my thumb over his smooth brown skin, the arch of his high cheekbone. “Mirage?—”

Before I can go on, a larger form pushes through the bushes. “Peri, are you all right? I?—"

The second he sees us, Raze freezes. His lips pull back with a low growl, his eyes narrowing at Mirage. “What are you doing here?”

I hold up my hand to bring his attention back to me, but the fox shifter has already jerked away. He hunches his shoulders in a submissive posture. “Not getting in your way or making a play. Only trying to cheer her up. She seemed to need it.”

I suck in a breath to add my confirmation, but Raze’s posture relaxes. He crouches down amid the shrubs, considering Mirage and then me with a twist of his mouth. “I saw you didn’t come to breakfast. Something’s wrong. Who upset you?”

I manage a wry smile. “Mostly just myself. I feel better now.”

“Because of him.” Raze studies Mirage a little longer. “You noticed. It mattered to you enough that you looked after her.”

The fox shifter dips his head in a nod. His eyes gleam when he glances at me. “She’s got a whole rainbow in her. A being that special needs to be taken care of right.”

His words and his gaze send a flutter through my chest. I don’t know if Raze can tell or if he’s simply going by Mirage’s reaction, but he hesitates and then says, “You care about her a lot. You like her… in a lot of different ways.”

Mirage’s voice turns tender. “She is very special. And it’s very enjoyable to show her that. However I can. As long as it’s welcome.”

A heated energy tingles through the air. Raze meets my eyes again, careful and maybe a bit curious. “You enjoy being around him too.”

I reach out to stroke my lover’s jaw. “I do. But it has nothing to do with enjoying you , which you know I do, very much. He really was just cheering me up. If anything else would make you upset?—”

Raze inhales sharply, cutting me off. “I think… I think it shouldn’t. Mirage wouldn’t hurt you.”

He pauses again as if grappling with something inside himself. A glimmer lights in his eyes that isn’t so different from the fox shifter’s usual sly glint .

Raze lifts his chin toward Mirage. “She could feel even better. I want to see how she’d look if you kiss her.”

Mirage blinks at him. For a second, I think he’s offended by the domineering request. My pulse skitters.

Then the fox shifter turns the full force of his grin on me. “Would that make you even happier, Rainbow?”

My heart thuds faster, but nothing about the rhythm is fearful now. When I peek at Raze, he’s watching avidly.

I wet my lips. “Yes. I think it would.”

Mirage scoots toward me and teases his fingers into my hair. Anticipation shivers through me.

He tips forward and catches my mouth with his.

The gentle press of Mirage’s lips summons a whole swell of giddiness that wraps around my heart. As I kiss him back, Raze takes a rough breath with a trace of a groan.

The basilisk shifter edges closer and rests his hand on my back with a bloom of warmth.

Then the PA system crackles to life with Shanty’s voice. “The students scheduled for this morning’s trip north should report to the admin room now.”