Page 28 of Mine

I stared at the floor, unable to meet his glare. “Uh, come in.”

Luke didn’t take his eyes from me, following me silently to my room. I sat on my bed, my head in my hands, wishing I was anywhere but here.

He slumped into the chair in front of my desk, his posture heavy, already looking defeated, and I hadn’t even told him anything about me and Cal yet.

Cal.

I tried to draw strength from how I felt when I was with Cal, remembering how happy I was earlier that morning. I owed it to Luke to tell him everything, and to end things between us before I took it further with Cal.

Guilt twisted my stomach when I remember how I would have handed my virginity to Cal on a plate this morning had he wanted to take it.

My cheeks flushed, and Luke frowned at me, moving his stare to the photos above my desk. Most of them were of us with our friends, in summer by the beach. The memories were beautiful, but they were just that: memories. Ocean blue eyes moved to mine, and my stomach lurched with anxiety.

“Are you going to tell me what happened, Gretchen?” his voice broke, and a piece of my heart did too.

How to tell him this, that I’ve cheated on him with his cousin?

I knew I was skating on thin ice, but Ihadto tell him. “Last night... I’m sorry I left like I did.”

Luke continued to stare at me, his eyes narrowing. His fingers drummed on the arms of my chair, his foot tapping repeatedly, a sure sign that he was angry.

“Where did you go? I came looking for you,” he said slowly, crossing his arms.

I licked my lips and rubbed my hands on my legs.

This was it.

No amount of deep breaths calmed me, so I just bit the bullet and came out with it.

“I was with Cal,” I whispered, the air leaving his lungs as he inhaled sharply.

My palms were sweating, my knees jiggling as I waited for him to say something.

Anything.

His eyes widened and his mouth opened, then closed before he finally spoke. “Say that again.”

I didn’t want to say it again, but his eyes commanded it.

“I went home with Cal.”

His fists clenched so tightly I could see the white of his knuckles. I regretted telling him without Cal there, but then it would’ve only ended in a storm of testosterone.

“Why?” he spat, his voice laced with venom. He was standing now, and for the first time, I felt afraid of him.

I didn’t think my explanation would suffice, so I opted for an apology. “Luke, I’m sorry...”

He paced my bedroom, running his hands through his hair. “So, let me get this straight,” he barked, not meeting my eyes. “You spent last night with my cousin. Are you telling me it was a stupid mistake, Gretchen?”

My heart ached so much looking at his face, the face I had kissed so much over the past year. The face I thought I had fallen in love with.

I can’t lie to him, not now.

I didn’t want to be with him anymore; I wanted Cal, at any cost. It scared me that I felt as strongly as I did about Cal without truly knowing him, but all I had to go by was the way I felt when I was with him.

“I’m sorry...” I repeated, wringing my hands together. I had to say something else, but my mind was blank.

He glared at me with disgust. “Yeah, you said that. What are you sorry for?” He snapped, his voice dripping in sarcasm.