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BONUS SCENE: TWO WEEKS LATER

A LLIE’S POV

I glance out the front window and blink.

There’s a bright pink Cadillac cruising down the street like it owns the neighborhood. Again.

A college guy I’ve never seen before is behind the wheel, gripping it like his life depends on getting through this shift alive.

Gram is perched in the passenger seat, decked out in a feathered scarf, rhinestone sunglasses, and a tiara I’m 98% sure she didn’t own yesterday.

Eddie’s in the backseat wearing a full Elvis jumpsuit, giving a double thumbs-up to literally no one.

Then Gram stands up— stands up —in the moving convertible, gripping the windshield with one hand while waving at the neighbors like she just won Miss USA.

“Oh my God,” I breathe, backing away from the window in horror.

Connor walks into the room holding a protein bar. “What happened?”

“Gram rented another Cadillac,” I mutter, rubbing my eyes. “Her name’s Priscilla.”

He takes one look out the window, sees Gram blowing kisses at a passing jogger, and turns around. “Nope.”

I grab my phone with a groan and do the only logical thing I can think of.

I open the group chat.

Group Chat: Emotional Support Hockey Sluts

Members: Cole, Jake, Ford, Daltyn, Connor, Chloe, Tara, Harper, Allie, Peyton, Gram

Allie

Ford, please come get your grandma.

Jake

What did Gram do now???

Allie

She rented another pink Cadillac.

Named it Priscilla.

Like the one she rented for Connor and me in Vegas.

Chloe

AGAIN?!

Ford

WHY IS IT ALWAYS PINK? WHO IS LETTING HER DO THIS?

Allie

Don’t know. She’s your Gram.

Some poor college guy who lives next door is driving her around Boston right now.

I looked out my window and she was waving like she just won the Miss USA pageant.

Eddie is in the backseat wearing an Elvis jumpsuit. I wish I were kidding.

Connor

She Snapchatted me a video of it and said, “This is your future, Daddy-o.”

Tara

No. No. Noooo.

Why is she like this?

Daltyn

Did I just see her on Tremont Street?

Peyton

Yes.

She yelled “Eat my glitter, peasants!” out the window.

The guy driving looked like he wanted to ascend to another plane of existence.

Jake

Can we hire a babysitter for Gram?

Or like… a handler?

Chloe

I vote we give her a reality show.

Ford

I vote we put her in a locked facility.

Gram

I HEARD THAT, FORD.

I’m on my second mimosa and third neighborhood cruise. Eddie just winked at a traffic cop and I threw my bra out the window. #YOLO #PriscillaPower

Connor

I’m moving.

Allie

You’re not. You’re mine forever.

Just like your future with Gram.

Jake renamed the chat: “Priscilla Patrol ”

Cole

Please tell me someone got a video of the bra thing.

Harper

Already posted it. TikTok is unwell.

Gram

Tag me. My influencer era is now.

I set my phone down, unsure if I should laugh, cry, or call the National Guard.

Connor tosses his protein bar wrapper in the trash and mutters, “She’s going to outlive us all.”

“I’m pretty sure she’s immortal,” I say, watching Priscilla disappear down the block.

“She’s also definitely banned from at least three retirement homes.”

I lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder. “And somehow still the heart of this whole ridiculous crew.”

He wraps his arm around me and presses a kiss to my hair. “You realize what this means, right?”

I sigh. “That there’s probably a bedazzled jumpsuit in my future?”

“That... and we should probably start hiding the car keys.”

We sit in silence for a beat.

Then I mutter, “God help us all if she ever finds out how to livestream.”

Connor groans, “I bet she already has a ring light.”

We both shudder.

Somewhere in the distance, I swear I hear Gram yell, “Priscilla rides again, bitches!”

I don’t even bother looking out the window.

There goes the neighborhood.

* * *

My phone starts beeping nonstop, pulling me from a deep sleep. Connor groans in my ear, refusing to let me move.

“What if it’s an emergency? I need to check my phone.”

He mutters something unintelligible, and after a few seconds, he loosens his hold.

I grab my phone, blinking when I see its notification for the group chat.

I blink again, shaking my head and snorting out a laugh as I read the craziness.

Connor rolls. When I look over at him, he raises his brows. “Gram nonsense?”

I nod. “The group chat is lit.”

My husband sighs and grabs his phone from the nightstand.

Jake uploaded a screenshot to the group chat.

Image: “Messages Gram Tried to Delete – 2:13 AM”

Gram

Eddie and I just did naked Tai Chi in the backyard.

The moon is our spotlight.

Gram

I named his ass cheeks “Jailhouse” and “Rock.”

Gram

We’re getting matching tattoos tomorrow. Mine says “Hunk of Burning Love.”

His says “Menace Magnet.”

Ford:

I’m deleting this entire conversation.

Gram

Too late, sugar lump. The universe saw it.

Connor

I’m burning my phone.

Allie

I’m framing that screenshot.

Tara

I want a spin-off novella.

Gram

Already started it. Chapter 1: Elvis Found Heaven (It’s Between My Thighs)

Jake

I’m crying. Actual tears.

Daltyn

I hate all of you. You’re insane.