Page 96

96

ALLISON

I t’s just the three of us on the flight home—Connor, Gram, and me.

Gram is two Bloody Marys deep before we even hit cruising altitude, already holding court in the aisle like she owns the damn plane.

“I told the flight attendant I needed extra room for these hips,” she announces, patting her floral carry-on, which I’m ninety-nine percent sure is stuffed with snacks, backup sequins, or blunt objects.“Told her I’ve been carrying generations of family trauma, and it’s starting to show.”

Connor groans and pulls his baseball cap lower over his face.

I sip my ginger ale, trying not to laugh.

Gram reaches into her bag and pulls out a Tupperware container, offering it like she’s Moses handing down the commandments. “Brownie?”

I hesitate. “Are they... regular brownies?”

She winks. “They’re happy brownies.”

The flight attendant arrives just in time to hear that and looks horrified. “Ma’am, you can’t distribute?—”

“Don’t you dare touch my brownies, Barbara.” Gram clutches them to her chest. “They are medicinal. Emotional. Spiritual. Also, I added walnuts.”

Chaos ensues.

Connor refuses to intervene.

I pretend I don’t know her.

Eventually, turbulence hits, and the captain demands everyone return to their seats.

Gram huffs and flops into hers, dramatically clutching her sequined beach tote like she’s saying goodbye to the Titanic.

And then she destroys us all.

“If we die, I just want you all to know I gave Elvis a blow job in Vegas!”

Horrified silence crashes over the cabin.

Then all hell breaks loose.

Someone snorts.

Another gasps.

A kid asks their mom what a blow job is.

Connor starts laughing so hard he can’t breathe.

I stare at Gram, panicked. “Gram. W-what do you mean... Elvis ?”

She shrugs, completely unbothered. “He was wearing a jumpsuit and said ‘thank ya very much’ in the right spots. That was enough for me.”

I collapse against Connor, wheezing.

He mutters, “I’m putting that on her headstone someday.”

* * *

When we finally land in Boston, I swear the entire plane applauds. But not for the safe landing. The applause is for surviving Gram.

We barely make it through the terminal before we’re descended upon by Ford, Harper, Jake, Cole, Chloe, and Tara.

Harper rushes me and pulls me into a hug. “Oh my God, Allie. Are you okay? I can’t believe what happened! Ford told me everything. There was a stalker, then a storm. You were nearly kidnapped, and Gram assaulted a man with a purse.”

“I made sure he’ll never forget it,” Gram adds proudly, wheeling her glittery suitcase beside her like a war veteran.

I stare at Harper with concern. “I wanted to tell you in person what happened, and not via a phone call or text.”

Harper flashes me a smile. “It’s okay, Allie. I understand. I would’ve done the same. It’s all good.” She hugs me again.

Just as we’re about to leave the airport, Ford smirks and says, “Gram. You gonna make your announcement?”

Just as we’re about to leave the airport, Ford smirks and says, “Gram. You gonna make your announcement?”

Connor tenses beside me, arms folded like he’s preparing for a bomb to drop.

Gram beams. “I am!” She turns to the group, her voice loud enough to echo. “I’m moving into an apartment close to Connor and Allie’s! Ford’s house is just across the street.”

Connor goes stock-still.

I feel his soul leave his body.

He looks at Ford like he’s plotting a homicide. “Revenge,” he mutters darkly. “So much revenge.”

Gram throws an arm around my shoulders. “We’re gonna have brunch every Sunday. Matching aprons. Maybe even girls’ nights with smut readings and margaritas.”

I stare at Connor, who blinks like he’s just survived a bomb.

I just smile.

Honestly? Life is so fucking good.

I wouldn’t change a damn thing about this crazy family.