Page 48 of Menace in Vegas (Pucked Up Hearts #2)
48
CONNOR
I should’ve known breakfast wouldn’t be normal. Not when Gram’s involved.
Allie and I barely get dressed before she’s dragging us out of the hotel, practically vibrating with mischief.
We don’t even get to ask where we’re going.
She herds us into the pink Cadillac—yes, the same one she rented for us—and speeds off down the Vegas Strip like a woman on a mission.
Priscilla, that pink menace of a convertible, purrs like she’s excited for whatever mayhem is about to unfold. I swear I hear her judging me through the engine noise.
“Gram,” I say, white-knuckling the seat while holding my wife protectively, “are you sure you should be driving? Do you even have a license?”
She waves a hand, glancing back over her shoulder at us like she’s got a death wish. “You two are such buzzkills. License schmicense. Who needs one of those?”
Allie and I suck in a breath and clutch each other like it’s the end of time.
Dear God. We’re going to die.
When she finally turns her eyes back to the road, we exhale like we’ve just survived a plane crash.
“I’m your chauffeur. You two are newlyweds. You don’t need to be driving.” She eyes me in the rearview mirror. “Relax.”
My wife glares at me like this is somehow my fault. “This is on you.”
I frown. “How the hell is this my fault? She’s Ford’s Gram!”
Gram shoots me a look. “You’re my adopted grandson.” Her eyes soften as they land on Allie. “And you’re my granddaughter. It’s official.”
The car swerves. I mutter a curse. “Gram. Eyes on the road.”
She cackles. “Relax, sugarplum. I’ve got this.”
She swerves again—deliberately—making us both gasp.
Gram slaps the steering wheel, laughing. “You two are easy. Live a little!”
I mutter, “Or die a lot.”
Allie snorts, elbowing me. “Shhhh. Insulting her only makes it worse.”
She’s not wrong.
I try a new tactic. “I’m just along for the ride.”
Gram beams. “That’s the spirit, Hot Pants!”
“Is that my new nickname?”
“Oh, you’ve got a few. Menace-in-Law. Trouble-Maker McGee. Pancake Daddy?—”
“Oh my God,” Allie groans. “Can we not?”
Gram ignores her, whipping into a parking lot and slamming the car into park like she’s starring in Fast & Furious: Vegas Drift .
“All right, lovebirds. Time for breakfast.”
I glance out the window. “Gram, why are we at an all-you-can-eat pancake house?”
She grins. “Because, dear menace, we’re settling something important.”
Allie pinches the bridge of her nose. “I’m afraid to ask.”
“Too late!” Gram throws open her door and points at me. “Connor, do you love Allie?”
I blink. “Hell yes. What’s that got to do?—”
“And would you do anything for her?”
“Obviously.”
“Good.” She turns to Allie. “And you, darling, would you like to see your husband suffer just a little?”
Allie smirks. “Always.”
“Perfect!” Gram claps her hands. “Let’s go. We’ve got a pancake-eating contest to win.”
I stare. “I—what?”
“You heard me!” She winks. “Winner gets to decide where you two honeymoon.”
Allie perks up. “Wait. If I win, I get to pick?”
“Yep,” Gram says, grinning. “And if he wins, he gets to drag you to whatever frozen hockey cave he’s been fantasizing about.”
I crack my neck. “Hope you like frozen lakes and ski lifts, sweetheart. I’m about to destroy you.”
Allie narrows her eyes. “You wish. I’m an undefeated breakfast champion.”
“That’s not even a real thing.”
Gram sighs dramatically. “Kids these days. No respect for the sacred art of pancakes.”
I grin and roll up my sleeves. “All right, wife. You and me. Let’s do this.”
Allie grins right back. “Prepare to lose, husband.”
We walk inside, ready for battle.
Gram trails behind, absolutely thrilled with herself, holding two bibs she clearly embroidered.
She hands them over with a wicked smile.
Mine says, “Pancake Daddy.”
As Allie doubles over laughing, Gram pats my shoulder with deadly seriousness. “Start carb-loading, sugarplum. You’ve got one year to prepare.”
I blink. “For what?”
She beams. “Your anniversary road trip. In Priscilla, of course. I already have a route planned. Heart-shaped Jacuzzis and glitter-themed diners the whole way.”
I stare at her like she just cursed me.
Allie’s wheezing with joy.
And I swear I hear Priscilla growling in the parking lot like she’s ready.