Page 11 of Maxim (The Syndicates #12)

I t’s been two weeks in this prison. I only know because I have kept track on the side of the dresser with a pair of scissors I found in the bathroom. I’m pretty sure they are meant to trim nose hairs or something, but I don’t care.

All I care about is my siblings. The same ones I will likely never see again.

I thought my father would understand why I came back. I thought he would keep me and tell Maxim to take a hike.

I should have known better.

I saw it in my father’s eyes. He wants to kill me.

I’m no longer useful to him.

Then there’s Maxim. I remember his eyes that night. He looked troubled to be choking me. He wasn’t even choking me hard. It didn’t even hurt, but it haunted him. Then Daryna came flying into the room, and I panicked. I made him hurt me more.

I want to hate him for it, but I have a feeling there is more to Maxim than I realize. Not that it matters.

I made a decision today. One that will alter both mine and my siblings’ lives. I only hope they can forgive me.

I want to save them. It’s my only hope, but hope has fled. I’m not strong enough to break them free from the horrors of that house.

God, I wish I had the strength.

I can’t live without them, though. What does life even matter if I have nothing and no one?

I can’t go on knowing what my siblings might face. They are more than my siblings to me. I raised them. I made them into the little beings they are. I changed their diapers and kissed their wounds.

They are more like my children.

How can you live without your child?

I choke back the tears as I contemplate what I’m about to do.

Standing from the bed, I make my way into the bathroom. I turn the water on, allowing it to fill.

Finding the fancy crystals under the sink, I pour them into the water. It smells so nice.

When the tub is filled, I turn off the water. Then I grab the scissors before settling into the warm bath.

I read somewhere once that warm water makes blood flow better. I hope that’s the truth. I don’t want this to be long and agonizing.

I think back to the last couple of weeks. Has it really been that bad?

No. Not really. It could have been worse. Maxim has been a good master. He hasn’t hit me or hurt me. At least not outside my father’s house.

He feeds me and gives me clothes. He even lets me watch television.

That’s not enough for a human to live on, though. He is never here. I feel isolated and alone.

Daryna and Alek are the only joy I had in this life. Without them, I am drowning.

What is the point? Why should I keep trying when I know I will never be happy again?

Lifting the scissors to my wrist, I stare at the contrast of the shiny silver against my pale skin.

It would be so easy. Two deep slits and the demons would go away. My pain would be gone and I would be able to breathe again.

I hope it doesn’t cause too much pain. I hope Daryna and Alek never find out about it.

Hopefully, Maxim keeps it to himself. I don’t even want my father to have the satisfaction of knowing what I did.

Not because I think he would care, but because I know he would use it as a weapon against my siblings.

He would tell them over and over about how I was a coward and ended my life.

He would blame them, saying it was because of their behavior.

He would twist and turn it until it traumatized them forever.

Tears fill my eyes as I think about it. I can only hope that Maxim is too embarrassed about losing an asset that he refuses to tell my father about me.

I hope he lies and says he has me locked up in a basement and that he is abusing me all the time.

I want him to sully my name every time it is brought up.

I hope he keeps this secret.

Using my left hand, I dig the scissors into my right. The pain is immediate. It burns, but I keep going until the blood is flowing, swirling into the water like a bath bomb would. I feel a little dizzy at the sight, but I push on. Switching hands, I use my right to repeat the action on my left.

Once the wounds are created, I let the scissors drop to the floor outside of the tub. Then I sit there, looking at my life essence draining into the tub.

How can something so vital to your existence be so pretty? The way it creates designs in the water as each droplet hits the surface.

The tears fall freely as I’m captivated by the blood.

It’s almost over.

Sobs overtake me as I slide down into the tub. I lie my head back, looking up at the ceiling.

“Forgive me, Lord. I’m weak. Take care of Daryna and Alek.” I speak to the sky.

I don’t even know if I believe in God, but it’s worth a shot. Anything I can do to help them, even if it’s just a prayer.

My vision becomes blurry as I think I hear a sound. Looking over, I realize I’m bleeding outside of the tub. Panic hits me all of a sudden. I didn’t want to make a mess for him. I am so stupid. I should have paid better attention.

Pulling my arms inside the tub, I close my eyes.

Only a little bit longer now.

I hope that if there is a god, he grants me peace. That he allows me to rest because I’m exhausted.

I don’t want to be in hell anymore.

I only want to be free.

Stepping through the door, I quickly turn off the alarm. My arms are full of groceries. I refuse to make a second trip.

“Olena?” I call out.

When she doesn’t answer, I frown. Dropping the groceries on the floor, I head to the bedroom. I find the bathroom door closed.

Pressing my ear to it, I hear the splash of water.

I smile.

I’m glad she’s taking a bath.

Heading back into the kitchen, I take my time putting food away. After about twenty minutes, I go back to the door and listen.

I don’t hear anything.

Knocking, I call out, “Olena?”

She doesn’t answer.

Looking down, I see the chain going under the door. I pull on it slightly, but it doesn’t budge.

My heart starts to race.

“Olena, I’m coming in.”

I open the door quickly. What I find is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Olena, my beautiful Olena, floating in red-tinged water. The smell of copper fills the room as her pale skin shines in the light of the bathroom. Her lips are no longer a bright pink. They are taking on more of a blue hue.

Looking down, I find the source of the bleed. It breaks my heart in two.

Taking a knife from my pocket, I grab a towel, cutting it in two. Dropping to my knees next to Olena, I tie one half on one wrist before doing the same on the other. Then I scoop her from the water, standing with her in my arms.

Without thought, I rush through the house. I quickly type in the code for the alarm, grabbing my keys as I fling the door open, not bothering to close it behind me.

I get her to my car, putting her in the passenger seat before running toward the driver’s side. Then I dial Alexei.

“You shouldn’t be calling me on this line. It’s not secure.”

“I don’t give a fuck. I need a doctor now.” I can hear the panic in my voice.

“What happened?” he asks.

“Olena fucking slit her wrists. Doctor. Now.”

“Sending you the address now. I’ll get someone to the house to clean it up.”

“Whatever, man. Not the priority,” I tell him as I hang up. Then I tap on the address he sent me, bringing up GPS. “Hold on, Olena. Only a little longer.”

The entire drive, all I can think about is how I did this to her. I bought her, then I chained her. I thought it was what was best for her, but I fucked up. She is obviously so unhappy that she is willing to end her life.

I can’t lose her.

I don’t know when, but I started to think of her as important to me. It’s more than wanting her to have a good life. I want to care for her. Protect her.

I failed her.

I make the ten-minute drive in five, breaking all of the laws. I dared a police officer to try and stop me, though.

The doctor is waiting on the porch for us.

“Bring her in quickly, son,” he says.

I nod, getting Olena from the passenger seat. I rush her inside, following the doctor as he leads me to what looks like a sterile operating room.

“She slit her wrists?” he asks, pointing to the table.

I lie her down, staying close to her as I nod. “She was in the bath.”

“Do you know her blood type?” he asks as he examines her.

“No.”

He swipes some of her blood, turning to a machine. Then he continues to examine her.

“A negative. I need to call an O negative donor.” He frowns.

“I’m O negative. Take it from me.”

He looks up, surprised. “Are you sure? It will make you lightheaded.”

I pull up my sleeve, grabbing a stool from the corner as I set up next to Olena. “Whatever she needs, you do. I don’t care if you drain me dry.”

The doctor raises a brow at that statement but nods. “It’ll take me some time. I need you to sit here and stay still. I will do what I can to save her.”

“Understood.”

He pulls out a needle, pushing it into Olena’s arm. Then he does the same to me. He hooks some equipment up before I see the blood start flowing from my veins into a bag, then into hers.

Then he gets to work.

He wasn’t kidding. It wasn’t a quick fix. He explained what he was doing every step of the way. From cleaning up the cut to stitching up her wounds. Then taking her vitals and monitoring her blood transfusion.

When he finally finishes, he unhooks me from Olena. I do feel a little woozy, but I don’t care.

The doctor hands me a glass of orange juice and some crackers.

“Now only time will tell if she awakes. Stay by her side as long as you need. I will be back in a little bit to check on her. I need to source more blood for her just in case.”

I want to tell him no. Only to use my blood, but it’s illogical. I can only give so much.

I would give it all to her, though. I owe it to her.

After he leaves, I grab Olena’s hand. “Olena, Сонечко, please hold on. Come back to me.” I kiss her hand between my two.

“If you do, I will devote my life to you. I will care for you and do anything I can to help you. I’ll get your siblings back for you.

I’ll love you. I will follow you to the ends of the earth. Don’t leave me to this darkness alone.”

Tears fill my eyes as I stare at her lifeless body.

I could have lost her, and I haven’t even had her yet. She still thinks I’m a monster. The boogeyman in the night.

If she survives this, it will be different. No more chains. No more threats.

I’ll treat her the way she deserves to be treated, my cover be damned.

I’ll be the man she needs because, Lord knows, I failed her already once.

I won’t be doing it a second time.