Page 20 of Matched (LSU #5)

I ’d done my best to prepare for this moment, telling myself to stay strong and focus on getting out the words I needed to say. But the second I turned around and my gaze connected with Charlie’s wary green eyes, my planned words flew out of my mind, and I was left with one thing only.

Want .

My body was moving before my brain had time to process what was happening.

I stepped forwards, striding across the space between us, and then grabbed him around the back of the neck, yanking him into me and slanting my mouth across his.

It was as if that one kiss in the student union had unlocked something deep within me, something I couldn’t even hope to shut away again, and all I could do was succumb.

Charlie made a tiny noise in the back of his throat, almost a whimper, and his arms came around my waist as he kissed me back with as much hunger as I had for him.

He pressed up against me, moving us both across the floor until my back hit the lockers.

I spun us around so I could push him up against the lockers, moaning into his mouth as we fucking devoured each other.

“Off,” he panted, tugging at the back of my T-shirt.

I had a split second of being frozen with shock at the thought of us getting naked together before my brain caught up and then— fuck, yes .

I disconnected our mouths for the few seconds it took for us to rid ourselves of our T-shirts, my cock throbbing at the sight of a dishevelled Charlie, mouth swollen and pupils blown wide, and then we were kissing again.

How the fuck had I denied this for so long?

All I wanted was to touch, and touch, and touch, to map out his body with my hands and my mouth?—

“Nate. Please .” His hips arched forwards, his erection sliding against mine.

This was so different to our stolen kiss in the student union.

This time, there was intent, and I had just enough brainpower left to yank both of our shorts down and do exactly what I wanted to do—get my hand around his leaking cock.

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned, his head falling back against the lockers as I rolled my hips into his, chasing the friction against my dick as I stroked him hard and fast. The first time I’d ever touched another dick, and it belonged to the one person I couldn’t get out of my mind.

It was so good, it felt so right, and it was going to be over all too soon.

“Fuck,” I ground out, licking at the skin of Charlie’s throat before sucking, hard.

He gasped and jerked against me, his cock pulsing in my hand, warm and wet as he came between us, soaking my hand with his release.

I thrust against him once, twice, then I was coming, too, stars bursting behind my eyelids as all the breath left my lungs.

I slumped forwards, burying my head in the crook of his neck. His hand stroked up my back in a tentative movement.

“That was…unexpected.”

“Yeah,” I said hoarsely as I lifted my head. Unexpected was an understatement. Had we really just done that?

Our eyes met, and my stomach swooped, in total freefall. Fuck. This was worse than I thought.

Then the blood froze in my veins. No. Sophie . How could I have forgotten about Sophie?

I tore myself away from Charlie, frantically fumbling for my clothes. “No. No . What have I done?”

“Stop.” Charlie grabbed my arm, jerking me back into him. “ Please . Don’t run away again.”

“Sophie,” was all I managed to say before he clamped his hand over my mouth. The movement was so unexpected that it stopped me in my tracks, my gaze flying to his. When he lifted his hand from my brows, he cocked his head in a clear question, and I took a deep breath before nodding.

“I spoke to her earlier. We’re not— I told her I wasn’t interested in anything more than friendship.”

My heart stuttered. What ?

“Okay.” I blew out a heavy breath. “Right. We need to talk. I wasn’t going to run away, I promise.”

His brows rose like he didn’t believe me, but he stepped away from me, tugging his shorts back up before scooping his T-shirt from the floor and gesturing to himself. “I need to clean up.”

“Me too. Meet you outside?”

He nodded, heading over to his gym bag. I watched him go, my gaze drinking him in. He was fucking gorgeous. Once again, I wondered how I could have denied it to myself for so long.

He told Sophie he just wanted to be friends .

“Nate?”

I blinked to find Charlie staring at me with what looked a lot like amusement, although there was a flush high on his cheekbones.

“Mmm?”

“Are you gonna, y’know?” He gestured towards me, and I noted the way his eyes darkened as he took in my body. I was so glad I wasn’t the only one in this situation, that I affected him the way he affected me. I think .

To make sure, I stepped out of my shorts and walked towards him. His mouth fell open, his eyes growing huge as I drew closer. He was so still, I wasn’t even sure he was breathing.

When I reached him, I dipped my head to his ear. “You’re fucking gorgeous,” I breathed, unable to deny the truth, and he shivered, inhaling sharply.

“You’re straight,” he whispered.

“Am I?” I kissed the shell of his ear, relishing the way his body trembled against mine before I stepped away, creating space between us. “I’ll see you outside.”

After another quick shower, I made my way to the training pitch we’d booked.

Crossing the AstroTurf, I headed for the chain-link fence that caged the pitch in, and sank down to the ground, dumping my bag at my side and stretching my legs out.

The sun’s rays threw patterned shadows across my body, and I closed my eyes, soaking in the warmth.

When I opened them again, Charlie was sitting next to me with his knees drawn up, leaning against the fence as he stared out across the pitch.

His hair was damp from his own shower, and he had his lip tugged between his teeth again.

He remained silent, and I knew it was up to me to start this conversation.

I was the one who’d asked him to come here to talk.

“My head is so messed up,” I confessed, clenching and unclenching my fists at my sides as I tried to release some of the tension that was locking up all my muscles.

“That makes two of us.” He looked at me then. “Were you lying before when you said you were straight?”

Rubbing my hand over my mouth, I thought about where to begin.

“No, I wasn’t lying,” I said. “Or I was, but I was lying to myself.” I explained the same things I’d spoken about with Jonas, and by the time I’d run out of words, I realised our hands were resting next to each other, and he was carefully stroking his little finger over mine in a wordless gesture of comfort.

A small smile tugged at his lips. “I’m not gonna lie. It’s a bit of an ego boost to think I was the one who made you stop living in denial.”

His words made me laugh. “Of course that’s the part you focus on.”

“You’re fucking sexy, and I’m average. Of course I’m gonna focus on that.”

I leaned in, cupping his chin with my fingers. “There’s nothing average about you, Charlie B.” Brushing my mouth across his, I stroked my thumb over the line of his jaw.

He leaned into it, kissing me soft and slow, and my stomach swooped again. Drawing away from his tempting mouth was so much harder than it should have been, but if I kept kissing him, we’d never get this sorted out.

“Okay.” I licked my lips, savouring the taste of him. “Okay. We need to finish this conversation. We’ve established that I’m bisexual or pansexual or something. Whatever isn’t just me liking girls. What about you?”

He gave me a wry smile. “I actually thought I was straight until you came along.” Sighing, he twisted his hands together as he gathered his thoughts.

“I dunno…I guess it didn’t shock me as much as it probably should have.

All my housemates are queer, and my siblings don’t care who I like as long as I’m happy.

So when I realised I…y’know, I just kind of thought, okay. Guess I’m not so straight, after all.”

“When you realised you ‘y’know’?” I grinned at him. “When did that happen?”

“Right around the time you took your top off in Hyde Park,” he shot back, his cheeks flushing. “Fucking show-off.”

“Really. You liked that, huh?”

“Fuck off.” Shaking his head, he cleared his throat. “Actually, it was before that. I think it was our second date. But I thought…I guess I wondered if I’d been imagining things because I was a bit drunk. Then, when we were at Hyde Park, I knew for sure it hadn’t just been my imagination.”

He liked me. I couldn’t have stopped my smile if I tried.

Catching my expression, he rolled his eyes. “No need to look so smug, mugger.”

“I think I have every reason to be smug.” I nudged him with my shoulder, and then somehow, we were kissing again.

“I can’t believe we just did that.” It was instantly clear that he was referring to what had happened in the changing rooms.

“Me neither. I’ve never done that with anyone before.”

“You wouldn’t know it.” He paused for a moment, his brow furrowing. “The weird thing is that it didn’t seem weird.”

“Yeah. It was fucking hot,” I admitted, pulling him into another kiss.

“We have to stop doing that,” Charlie mumbled when we parted, both of us breathless. “We have to talk about the rest of it.”

The rest of it. The hardest part. My smile dropped as the guilt that I’d been keeping at bay rushed over me. “Sophie. She really likes you, and I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Yeah. Uh, like I said before, I had a conversation with her today, and I told her I didn’t feel anything but friendship towards her.

She… I could tell she was upset about it, and I felt really bad, but I can’t force myself to feel things that aren’t there.

” He glanced up at me from beneath his lashes.

“Especially when I can’t get her brother out of my head. ”

His words gave me butterflies and made me nauseous simultaneously. “Yeah, and that’s the first issue. The biggest one. My sister is the most important person in the world to me, and as much as I like this—” I jerked my finger between the two of us. “—nothing is worth hurting her over.”

“Then there’s the issue of you moving to Plymouth this summer.” Hurt flickered in his gaze. “Something you never brought up.”

Shit. “Yeah.” I stared down at my hands. “I know I should’ve said something, but I just thought we were becoming casual friends, and you wouldn’t be bothered when I left anyway.”

“You really thought that? Seriously?”

“Yes. No. Honestly, I tried not to think about it. I was just having fun with you, and…” With a shrug, I trailed off.

Charlie sighed. “Okay. Good to know where I stand on your list of priorities.”

“Fuck. Don’t be like that. You are a priority. I love—like spending time with you. I’m gonna be fucking sad when I leave you, okay?”

“Yeah, alright,” he muttered.

“Charlie. Please.” Shifting to the left so I was right next to him, I pressed my shoulder against his. “You’re important to me, okay? I fucked up. I’ve fucked a lot of things up.”

“You and me both.” He twisted his head to meet my gaze. “I’m not angry, really. Just a bit hurt, I guess. You haven’t fucked up.”

“You’re so gorgeous,” I murmured, suddenly struck by the way the sun was sending shadows playing across his face, the breeze ruffling his hair, and those big green eyes fixed on me.

“Shut up.”

“No.” Leaning forwards, I captured his mouth again.

Somehow, we managed to pull away from each other, and I groaned, scrubbing my hand over my face.

My dick was tenting my shorts, and I refused to let my gaze drop to see if Charlie was in the same predicament.

Willing myself to calm down, I took a deep, steadying breath. “Okay. Okay. Back to the conversation.”

“Yeah.”

“Even if Sophie wasn’t an issue. Even if she didn’t fancy you. Even if either of us wanted…uh…a relationship, it wouldn’t work. The fact is, I’ll be gone in a couple of months. You still have two more years here. Your uni life is just beginning, really, and mine’s coming to an end.”

He swallowed, his throat working. “You’re right.” Fuck, he didn’t sound happy. “So what do we do now? Go back to being friends?”

“Yeah. That’s what we do,” I said. “We go back to being friends.”

Anything more was too much of a risk. One I wasn’t willing to take.