Page 17

Chapter Seventeen

Rathiel bit, his fangs piercing my neck. A jolt shot through me—sharp with a hint of pain. My breath caught and my hands instinctively gripped his arms as his hold on me tightened. Quicker than expected, the pain faded, the sting melting into pleasure.

Warmth spread from my throat downward, like the slow bloom of heat on a winter’s day. It wasn’t just a physical sensation. It was deeper, more complex. A warmth that seeped into my bones and settled in my core. It felt as though every nerve in my body had suddenly come alive, humming with a strange, almost hypnotic energy that echoed through my veins and pulsed in time with my heartbeat.

I’d expected discomfort, maybe even a little fear. But this was different. The feel of his mouth against my throat, of his arms wrapped around me, his fingers digging into my back. My mind scrambled to process the flood of sensations and emotions spiralling through me.

The more he drank, the more that warmth spread through me, penetrating even the darkest parts.

And me? I leaned into him, my fingers gripping his arms as if to hold him as close as possible. His chest was a wall of heat against mine, his knee creeping between my legs, his weight pressing me against the wall. A small voice in my head whispered at me to push him away, to put some distance between us, but my body refused to obey. I liked him this close to me. I didn’t want to push him away.

A flicker of something stirred—a memory, a shadow of a familiarity I couldn’t quite grasp. As if my body remembered something my mind had forgotten. I wanted to probe that feeling, dive into it and pull it apart until I remembered everything .

But then, like clockwork, the throbbing began. That agonizing and utterly annoying pain that always started behind my eyes before sweeping through the rest of my head. It started faintly, then grew sharper, warning me to stop. I winced, forcing myself to stop digging into the haze of lost memories. If I kept pushing, the pain would ruin this moment.

I swallowed, letting the memories slip away, leaving only the heat of Rathiel’s body and the pulse of his bite. Focusing only on the sensations, I kept the pain at bay. No thinking, no probing. Just feeling.

Rathiel’s grip tightened, and a low growl rumbled in his chest and vibrated against me. The sound should have alarmed me, but instead, it sent another wave of warmth through me, one that pooled deep in my stomach. Without a thought, I tilted my head and gave him better access, a notion that terrified me. I wasn’t just allowing this—I craved it. Craved him.

Why? Why did this feel so right, when everything in my rational mind told me it shouldn’t? All that mattered was Rathiel—his touch, his closeness, the way he made me feel like I was the only thing in the world that mattered.

A low moan escaped my lips, surprising me. I hadn’t intended to make a sound, but it slipped out, a honest reaction to the maelstrom of sensations whipping through me. Rathiel stilled, as if startled by my response, but then he resumed, this time slower, more deliberate, as though savouring every second of this.

My hands moved of their own accord, sliding up his arms to his shoulders, clutching at the fabric of his shirt as if anchoring myself to him. I didn’t want to let go, didn’t want to break whatever spell wove itself around us.

Rathiel’s lips lingered, but when he finally began to pull back, an unexpected pang of loss twisted my heart. The world around us seemed too quiet, too still, as if it had been holding its breath with me.

“Lily,” Rathiel murmured, his voice rough and low, barely more than a whisper. His breath was hot against my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. He didn’t say anything more; he didn’t need to. The way he said my name, the way his hands trembled slightly as he held me, spoke volumes.

I straightened my head and slowly opened my eyes. Rathiel’s gaze locked with mine, intense and unwavering. His hand lingered at my throat, his thumb tracing slow, deliberate circles against my skin, like he was committing everything to memory.

Then his gaze dipped, lingering on my lips. The room seemed to shrink around us, the air charged with an unspoken tension that had been simmering for too long. My pulse quickened, a thrumming beat in my ears that matched the rise and fall of my chest. I couldn’t look away, couldn’t move. It was as if I were tethered to him, unable to pull away.

His eyes flicked back up to mine, searching, questioning, as if he needed to be sure I wanted this as much as he did. Or maybe he was trying to understand the same confusing mix of emotions as me—an inexplicable longing that made my heart race in ways I didn’t fully understand.

Rathiel leaned in, the inches between us disappearing until his warm breath brushed my lips. I didn’t stop him. The thought never even crossed my mind. But just as our lips were about to touch, a sharp, high-pitched voice cut through the charged silence.

“Gross!” Vol let out a disgusted groan. “Knock it off, you two. Because, seriously, if I have to endure one more second of that, I’ll gouge my own eyes out. And believe me, Meat Sack, the idea is tempting.”

Rathiel stiffened, his forehead nearly touching mine. He gave a frustrated growl, then stepped back, the heated tension between us dissipating like a deflating balloon.

“And please,” Vol continued, “if you two are planning to swap spit, at least do it somewhere I don’t have to watch. I’m allergic to all this ‘will-they-won’t-they’ garbage. Makes me break out in hives. Big, disgusting, itchy hives.”

I blinked, then peered around Rathiel to find Vol standing on the couch armrest, his little hands perched on his hips, and his impish gaze locked on me.

“Remind me again why I let you live here?” I demanded, my voice low and annoyed.

“Because you can’t survive without me,” he retorted. “Now, are you done here? Or should I grab some popcorn for the next act of this disasterpiece?”

“Get out,” I growled. “Now.”

Vol’s laughter echoed through the room as he hopped off the couch and darted off. Where, I had no idea. Nor did I care to know. I had a bigger problem to contend with right now. And his name was Rathiel, who looked so much healthier now.

For the first time in…well, ever, I was speechless. My heart raced, and not just from the intensity of what’d almost just happened, but from all the emotions swirling around inside me. Ones that defied explanation. My damn body wasn’t helping either. The lingering tingle from his bite pulsed beneath my skin, sharp and insistent, like a brand that wouldn’t fade. And worse, there was something else, something deeper. A longing I didn’t understand.

I wanted to dive deeper into these feelings, explore them until they made some freaking sense. But I knew better. The last thing I wanted right now was a mind-crippling headache that had me cursing every celestial relic in existence.

I pressed my fingers to my neck, brushing over the puncture marks that were already healing. But the feeling hadn’t gone away. His bite lingered, searing and electric, refusing to be ignored. Questions ricocheted through my head, each one more confusing than the last. Feeding him was supposed to be straightforward, a simple necessity. But whatever had just happened between us was anything but.

When I finally looked up, Rathiel was watching me. He’d put some distance between us, and not just physically. His gaze was steady, guarded, the way it always was when he didn’t want to give anything away. There was something more to this—something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, and that unsettled me more than I wanted to admit. I wasn’t the type to get rattled easily, but right now, my thoughts were a jumbled mess.

“Okay, so who’s going first? You or me?” I asked.

Rathiel didn’t say a word.

“Great, me then.” I blew out a heavy breath, then lowered my arm. “Clearly, I’m missing something—which really isn’t all that surprising considering my unique circumstances. But that was far more intense than I expected.”

Rathiel averted his gaze. “Don’t read too much into it. Bites can stir up emotions. That’s all.”

That was his explanation? Seriously? I might have been missing a good chunk of memories, but I wasn’t stupid. Far from it. “You’re not even going to try to explain what just happened?”

He shrugged. “You offered to feed me,” he said in a measured tone. “And that’s what I did. There’s nothing more to it.”

“You nearly kissed me,” I countered. I wasn’t about to mention how badly I’d wanted to kiss him back—or how much I’d enjoyed every second of it. Those private thoughts needed to remain private for now. Especially when he was being so cagey. “I don’t have a lot of experience feeding vampires. Actually, none. But that didn’t feel like a quick bite. That felt…” I cleared my throat to keep from uttering the word erotic —thank goodness. “…different.”

Rathiel’s jaw tightened, and I could almost see the wheels turning as he carefully measured his next words. It was infuriating, this constant dance where he said just enough to keep me from walking away, but never enough to give me real answers.

“Think of it as a biological response,” Rathiel explained, his tone clinical, detached. “The bite is designed to be pleasant. It ensures that our prey returns willingly. We get the sustenance we need, and they get a temporary thrill.”

“That’s your explanation?” I raised a skeptical brow. “Biological response?”

I’d felt the stirring of a headache, a telling sign there was a related memory lurking beneath the surface, one triggered by the bite. That alone told me more than Rathiel was. Had he bitten me before? Back when I led the rebellion? If he had, why erase it?

“Listen, I’m not asking for a detailed report,” I continued. “But I won’t ignore what I just felt. Clearly, you felt it too. You wouldn’t be acting this way if you hadn’t.”

He didn’t respond, and I knew what that meant. He wasn’t going to tell me what I wanted to know. Not now, anyway.

I let out a short, humourless laugh. “You know, you’re really good at this whole ‘cryptic and vague’ thing. It’s like a second language for you, isn’t it? But here’s the thing—I’m not some gullible idiot who’s going to nod and smile while you dodge every question with a half-assed answer.”

He hesitated, just for a fraction of a second, but it was enough for me to see that I’d hit a nerve. But whatever it was, he wasn’t going to budge. And that realization pissed me off.

“You’re making this more complicated than it needs to be,” Rathiel said finally, his voice dropping a notch, as if he were trying to diffuse the situation. “It was just a side effect of the bite.”

My temper flared, but I reined it in, not wanting to let him see just how much his evasiveness angered—and hurt—me. “Right.”

He studied me intently, his gaze sharp and searching, like he was waiting for a reaction. What kind, I had no idea. For a moment, I thought he might actually crack, might let something slip. But then his expression shifted, smoothing back into that infuriatingly calm mask he wore whenever he wanted to shut me out.

I exhaled sharply, running a hand through my hair as I tried to process what had just happened. My body still buzzed with a tingling warmth that refused to fade. It made it hard to think straight. But beyond that, it angered me to know I was standing on the cusp of something important. Something I should remember but couldn’t.

If I wasn’t mistaken, Rathiel seemed almost…disappointed that I didn’t remember.

Well, he had no one to blame for that but himself.

“Fine,” I said, letting out a harsh breath. “Keep your secrets, but don’t think for a second that I’m going to drop this. You may not want to explain, but I’ll figure it out on my own if I have to.”

Whatever Rathiel was hiding, whatever that bite triggered, I was going to figure it out. And when I did, he’d have no choice but to admit the truth—whether he wanted to or not.