Page 49 of Massacre Monday

“Cardell Enterprises just got richer with the Burberry Company merger.”

Pushing away from the cacophony of voices, I make it to the bathroom on the first floor and into a stall. Once on the toilet, Idig my thumbs into my eyes so they don’t leak. No one can see me cry.

He’s not mine. He never was. No matterwhathappened on Massacre Monday, he was just messing with me.

Somehow, all those years of pining over Nico don’t hold a candle to the destruction my heart’s suffering at this moment. If I have to evenlookat Elina with that ring on her finger, I’ll vomit.

How crazy am I to be this upset by a man who was never mine? For someone’s attention I was trying to getoffof me? This is what I wanted, right?

If I were honest, it’s not. But that hurts too much to admit, especially now that it doesn’t matter.

Rage and brokenness surges through my veins, and I channel it, lean over the sink, stare into the mirror, and pull up my reserves.

“I’m Pippi fucking Freidenberg.” I tell myself with a solid nod. Once I’ve patted my face with a sprinkle of cool water, I head back out into the party, find Mitch, and plant my lips against his in front of everyone.

Peeking an eye open, I catch Ryan standing near the back of the room with Elina and a group ofSigmasgreeting the happy couple. He doesn’t even glance at me. So, I grab Mitch’s hand and pull him to the dance floor.

Every seductive move I know comes out as I drop it, shake it, flip it, reverse it, and slide all over Mitch as he spins me around, then gathers me in his arms, letting his fingers grip my ass, easing us into a sway.

When I sneak a look, Ryan acts as if I’m not there.

“Damn, you got me hard, Pip. I swear. Do you know what you do to me?” Mitch whispers, pressing his erection against my stomach as he rocks us back and forth to a slow song.

Again, my eyes dart over his shoulder to the big hockey player, but the crowd shifts as Ryan leads Elina toward the hall. Elina, all smiles and air kisses, waves goodbye as the two of them exit through the front door.

Ryan never once looks at me. Like I’m a nobody.

It’s not even eleven o’clock! Where are they going?

Ugh…I’dhateto guess exactly where they’re going.

Suddenly wanting to hide in my room for the weekend, I turn away, but Mitch follows.

“Your room?” he asks, and I can’t find the words to get rid of him. The lump in my throat will cause me to choke, and he’d know. It’s too embarrassing to admit that I may have feelings for someone else’s man.

Maybe I need comfort. Mitch has been there for me over the last couple of years. Can I just use him and be over this heartbreak?

As soon as we get to my room, he shuffles us toward my bed while simultaneously slamming my door closed, then collapses on top of me. His lips caress my neck, my throat, my cheeks, everywhere he can touch in a rapid series of kisses.

“Do you know how much I want you? How much Icarefor you? God…I can’t stand that we’re not together. It fuckinghurts, Pip. I’m so into you.”

He presses his body against mine as I listen to his affections, feeling hollow inside. Here, I have a perfectly reasonable person on me, wanting me, but I can only think of the smirky asshole across town getting ready to fuck his fiancée. And he has every right to. As do I with Mitch…

But I don’t want to.

Mitch leans up on his elbows and gazes at me in the dim light of the room. “I’ve wanted to be your first so bad, Pip. Did you save it for me? ’Cause I think you’ll be appointed to be mine. I do. Dad thinks it’s going to happen. When I graduate, I’ll bea judge. We can have lots of kids and you can stay home, do whatever you want. Establish some charities or clubs. I’ll take care of you.”

Everything in me cringes, locking tight. That’s thelastthing I want. To betaken care of. No. I want experiences with my partner. To be free, independent.

I want a fucking choice.

“Do you still have it? YouknowI can’t stand girls who are run through. He didn’t force you, did he? Are you still pure for me?”

“I-I…” I don’t even know how to answer him without raging. His words have me on tilt.

He sucks on my neck again and moans as he dry humps me, then murmurs, “We can do other things, though. Until the Culling.”

Finally, I snap. Shoving him back and off me, he stands and hurriedly wipes a string of saliva from his bottom lip.