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thirty-four

Blood pounds throughout my skull so viciously, it’s difficult to hear. Or see.

No, that’s because there’s something over my head. All I can make out is a black fabric covering my eyes and a hint of light from a few feet away.

With my arms tied behind my back, my shoulders burn and spasm. I think one is dislocated. My leg is undoubtably fucked up. It’s shockingly painful, aching and pulsing all the way to my toes.

“M-m tye frasten lawaken,” someone near me says. The voice is muffled, hard to understand. Another answers the first with similar garbled speech. Have I been abducted by aliens?

What if my head is so fucked up that I can’t understand words anymore?

A sudden slap hits my already bruised face. My neck whips to the side with the force of the blow. Cuts deepen inside of my mouth, and I spit out some iron-tasting fluid, which barely seeps through the hood covering me. Somehow, I managed to keep all my teeth.

“Not tough now, are you?” the first one asks, clearly in a robotic tone.

I can barely understand it and certainly don’t recognize the voice, but there are two distinct ones in the room with me.

Inhaling deeply through my nose, I focus on other sounds to make out where I am.

Every thought fades and returns as I lose consciousness over and over.

But as I ground myself to whatever is holding me up, I maintain some grasp on reality.

Wood beneath my fingers. Definitely a basic chair. With a shift of my hips, it scoots on the floor easily, a loud scrape sounding, as if on concrete. Tiny drops of water tinkle far away, but there’s a gushing sound over my head. Constant rushing. No, not water…

A roadway.

I keep my mouth shut until one slaps me again and asks, “Who gave you the order?”

Quick blinks help clear my eyes of tears as I try to think…

Fuck, is this someone from the society? Someone sent to end me for killing the senator?

I acted alone, but I was hoping no one would notice.

Besides, I got President Harvey what he asked for, the extra evidence of his preferences.

Though his wife was my true order. How could they guess I poisoned the senator on my own, though? I covered my tracks well enough.

It’s safest to feign ignorance. Keep my confessions even if I die. “What order?”

“You know which order.”

A small chuckle scratches my throat as I shrug my intact shoulder. “I follow all my orders. They come from the Board.”

“Not this one.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. “If you have an issue with my orders, take it up with them, not me. I’m just a pawn here.”

“A pawn…”

Nodding, I hope that will suffice, but another blow lands on my other cheek.

“Break his finger,” the second voice commands from several feet away.

Fuck.

“You can break them. Not sure why you want to. I literally just told you where I got my orders.”

It doesn’t matter. A tight grip tugs my ring finger to the side on my left hand, and I scream with anguish. That was the hand I’ll wear my wedding ring on, the one Pippi will give me during our wedding, and I’ll never take it off. Will it still fit?

A shuffle echoes across the floor and a door opens.

“Better hurry. Y-you need to wrap this up.” It’s a young man’s voice, but still unrecognizable.

“We’ll take care of it. Distract her,” the man behind me says.

“Distract her how?”

“Figure it out! Now get the fuck out of here.”

The door slams again.

Wait…

Roadway.

Young guys who don’t want their voices to be distinguished. A hood to keep their appearances hidden.

Her , he said.

Am I at the Maned Marauder’s hangout? The Underpass?

If so, that means this could be Apollo Griffin or any of the Deltas . Why would Delta be asking me about the senator’s orders?

Unless…

“Is this about Pippi?”

Another finger cracks as the man behind me snaps it. A wail surges from my chest in response. If I squeeze my eyes shut, the pain seems…less?

No, it still really fucking hurts.

“Don’t say her name.”

It wouldn’t be Mitch. He wouldn’t have the balls to do something like this. Nor the knowledge of how to break fingers. Betas are all about mending things.

“I mean, she’s my appointed, so I will definitely be saying her name,” I manage to say between halting breaths.

“Not anymore.”

My heart skips a beat. “What do you mean?”

“You’re going to reverse that. Whoever gave you the order to fuck with her, to force you to get appointed to her… Whatever you did to get her, you’re going to change it back, you piece of shit. You don’t deserve her.”

Voice modulators… Who would have the money for that and why would they use them unless I would recognize the voice.

“I’ll tell you right now, and you better listen to these words. You’ll have to kill me before I let her go, Adal.”

There’s a long pause, and all I hear are cars above me.

Yeah, called it.

Why is Adal so pissed off about me getting appointed to his sister? We were cool, I thought. Starting to become friends. What changed?

Rough hands set me upright and rip the fabric off my face. A blaring light from above makes my eyes water, and I blink rapidly to focus on the room. It’s a concrete block space with a metal door and some old, rusted equipment in the corner.

In front of me is Adal, who’s wearing a black bandana over his lower face.

Behind him in the corner is someone I saw just before I was hit…

Nico Griffin. He’s also wearing a handkerchief, but this one is partly a skull and has Marauders stamped across it. As he leans against the wall, he lowers the covering to his neck, unrolls a cigarette pack from his sleeve and taps one out, then lights it.

Adal glares at me, then stuffs a black electronic box into his pocket. “I want you to watch something and explain yourself,” he says in his normal voice, bringing up his phone.

One of my eyelids is almost swollen shut, but I can make out the screen. My pulse pounds harder and sweat drips from my forehead as I stare at the images I’ve memorized. The ones meant for me alone.

The sound from the footage is too loud for how small this room is.

“Here. Let me show you how to do this. Kiss the tip, but open your mouth wider.”

I stand above Pippi, who kneels before me, so eager to please me with those puffy cheeks and teary eyes.

“Yes,” I grunt. “But use more tongue, then suck.”

When she does, I breathe out, “Fuck, yeah. Atta girl.”

Pippi was worried about her family seeing this, thinking they’d judge her or that they would look down on her. There was no way I wanted them to see it, knowing this is exactly what would happen. Hell, I don’t even blame him. If someone did that to Olivia, I’d react the same.

However, this was only ever meant to be for me.

I lick my lips and consider the two men in this room.

They won’t kill me. They don’t want to start that kind of war, or I’d already be dead.

Even the board fears what Xavier Cardell would do if one of his sons were murdered.

If they end me, my father will take out one of theirs, and the cycle will never end.

“That was for my eyes alone. How did you get it?”

“Doesn’t matter.” With every ounce of hate he can summon, he spits out, “All that matters is you’re a piece of shit and don’t deserve my sister.”

Nico blows out a puff of smoke behind him and tilts his head at me, as if considering which body parts he wants to remove.

Like I’m not covered in bruises and cuts, I straighten up and say, “I think that’s for her to decide.”

“You know it’s not. Not at this university.”

“So, you want me to end my own appointment with her. Not going to happen.”

“I heard you made President Harvey change it. Do it again. I don’t care who the fuck you marry, but you’ll stop seeing Pippi.”

“You want me to break your sister’s heart?”

“I’m sure she’ll get over it.”

Nico shoves off the wall and stomps out his cigarette, as if their plan is to escort him into her life. It’s difficult, but I manage to swallow, though my throat feels as if it’s closing.

Would she leave me at the first opportunity to be with him? She’s never really told me how she feels… The thought of them together makes me hurl bile onto the floor between my thighs. A string of saliva hangs from my lower lip, which I cut off with a swipe of my tongue.

Shaking my head with annoyance, I nod toward my feet. “Bend down here. I want to look you in the eyes when I tell you this, Adal.”

He does, tucking his phone in his back pocket.

“You’ll have to rip my soul from my body before I’d part from her, and even then, I’ll drag you to hell with me so I can watch you burn for taking what’s mine. I’ve tasted her blood. We flow through each other’s veins. Pen’s my sole reason for living. I’m not going anywhere .”

Adal’s eyes grow hazy, and Nico gapes at me.

“Just kill him and be done with it,” Nico says.

Adal stands and crosses his arms like he’s actually thinking it over. “Call Apollo. Ask if we can remove his legs first and say it was a motorcycle accident.”

“On it.” Nico steps out of the room, holding his phone up to his ear.

Pulling a cigarette from his pocket, Adal waves it at me. “Fine. You want to die? We’ll make that happen for you. Slowly and painfully.”

For the first time in a long time, I silently beg to stay alive.