Page 33 of Marrying a Marquess (Widows of Mayfair #3)

W ith Priscilla wrapped around his body, he knew the instant she fell asleep.

Her breathing evened out, and her body relaxed on his.

And her tears stopped. When her tears dropped one by one on his bare chest, it stole the very air from his lungs.

He hated and felt honored, which was a contradiction he knew, that she cried for him. And still he didn’t feel worthy of her.

When she’d woken him up from his nightmare, he’d had no intention of telling her about Holzer and his time at Eton.

He had never wanted anyone to know how terrified he had been and how he had to fight for his life every damn night.

And how that had caused a residual effect that he battled daily.

It had altered his brain. It didn’t work right.

As he confided in Priscilla, he was damaged .

That was really why he’d never asked for Priscilla’s hand in marriage back when she was eighteen. It’s why he hadn’t asked anyone. Oh, he convinced himself he was going to propose to Lady Grace, but he knew he would never ask her. Certainly not after tonight.

He had never wanted to drag anyone else into his life—a life he sometimes had trouble controlling. But after tonight with Priscilla, he wanted to become the man she deserved, the man he knew was hiding somewhere deep inside him.

He still sat against the headboard, holding her while she slept.

He had never admitted to himself that she was the most precious person in his life.

Regardless of what the future held, she always would be.

He would always look out for her, but not the way a brother would.

He used to refer to her as a sister, but that was a lie.

He had realized that when she was eighteen and had her first Season.

He still didn’t know if he was ready to marry or if he ever would be, but he was making progress toward it.

And just in case he was never ready, he would have to tell Priscilla.

She had the right to know. He would never ask her to wait for him; that would be unfair to her, even if it broke his heart to see her married to another man.

For an hour, he held her, not letting himself fall asleep.

He’d had enough nightmares for one night.

Tonight, with her, would forever remain etched in his heart and mind as the best and most important night of his life.

He’d kissed her before, and those kisses had transcended time.

Tonight, it was more. He was alive and present and felt everything deep inside his soul.

She had become his everything: every kiss, every caress, every heated glance.

The joining of their bodies meant more. He had never experienced feelings, love, and emotions like this.

The world around them had vanished. They were the only two people who existed. His touch became hers, her kiss became his, and her body became his until they indeed became one. Priscilla became his entire world.

He kissed the top of her head as tears pooled in his eyes.

What they shared—was it enough to base a lifetime together on?

He never wanted to cause her pain or regret if they married.

He’d managed to hide it well over the years, but he could act irrationally, and he didn’t want the burden of his actions to fall on her shoulders.

He looked up at the ceiling and whispered, “Please let me heal, so we can become each other’s world. ”

It was close to sunrise. As much as he hated to leave her, he had to.

He gently extricated himself from her embrace, tucked her in, and kissed her forehead.

She stirred, curled up on her side, and hugged her pillow closely, which brought a smile to his lips.

“Good night, my love,” he whispered as he dressed, slipped out, and went home.

He slept for four hours in his own bed before leaving his house again in his carriage to go to his pugilism club on Bond Street.

He sparred with whoever was available; this morning, it was the earl he’d mentioned to Priscilla.

After last night, Nick didn’t feel the usual angst vibrating inside him, but since he planned to visit Viscountess Norton afterward, he needed to tire himself out.

He wouldn’t leave her home until she’d explained what was going on with Latham.

He hadn’t forgotten what he’d heard Latham say at White’s.

What was all that talk about going into business with the viscountess?

Nick had a bad feeling nothing good would come of those two joining forces.

“That’s going to bruise, you know,” the Earl of Middlebury said after he landed a series of punches that Nick was too preoccupied to protect himself from.

“You are usually focused, and fight me like you want to hurt me mortally, but not today.” He jabbed several more times, but Nick blocked these and got in a few punches himself. “What’s on your mind?”

“Christ,” Nick said, moving around. “You must have hated getting in the ring with me, until today.” The earl moved with him. Nick backed out of the way and counterpunched.

“Only if I drank too much the night before. I got really good at dodging and blocking as I just showed you.”

“Damn, that was some blocking.”

“I heard you’re courting Lady Grace. Is that true?”

Lady Grace? Middlebury hit him with a solid punch which rattled from one side of his chest to the other.

If that were for Lady Grace, he deserved it for being such a reprobate.

More importantly, why was Middlebury asking?

Hell, Nick didn’t know up from down this morning.

He needed to call off the courtship with Lady Grace.

Truly, he didn’t believe she would be surprised or disappointed.

He would feel terrible if she had feelings for him, but the one and only time he’d ventured to kiss her, they both knew there was no spark.

She just enjoyed his company and was relieved at the chance to be away from her mother. “Ah, possibly.”

Disappointment flashed in Middlebury’s eyes as he prepared to hit him again. Fortunately, Nick saw it coming, ducked, spun around, hit Middlebury with a punch of his own, and took him down.

Nick took off his glove and held out his hand. “Sorry.”

Middlebury took his hand, shaking his head. “Don’t be. We are here to box, after all. Though I think I’m done for today.”

“Me too. Before you go, are you interested in Lady Grace?” Nick couldn’t think of a better gentleman to court her than Middlebury.

Middlebury shrugged his shoulders. “Does it matter?”

“It does, and you may be surprised to find her free from any suitors by the day’s end.”

“Thanks.” The wide smile Middlebury gave him was all the thanks he needed.

He entered Gentleman Jackson’s bathing facilities and prepared to face the day ahead no matter what was in store for him. Once dressed and looking presentable, he left the club, waved to his driver, Fitzroy, and readied himself to face the viscountess.

When he arrived at her townhouse, her butler answered the door and let him in.

Nick went to hand him his calling card, but the servant waved him off.

“I remember who you are, my lord. I will inform the viscountess that you are here.” He disappeared up the stairs and came back down moments later. “She will see you now. Follow me.”

He was led to the drawing room he had visited the first time, when Norton still lived. Emma sat on a settee with a book in her hands. “What a surprise to see you so soon,” she said with a wide smile. “Have you changed your mind about me?”

Bloody hell, he had completely forgotten about her proposition to become his marchioness. “I’m afraid I haven’t.” He sat down before she could offer and stretched out his tired legs. “I’ve heard some interesting news.”

Her blue eyes widened. “And what news is that?”

“I have overheard Baron Latham speak of a business arrangement involving you.”

She glanced down at the book in her hands and shook her head. “I would deny any involvement with him if my dear, departed husband hadn’t struck a deal with him.” She paused and stared at him with her cold blue eyes. “My husband chose unwisely if Latham openly discusses it.”

When Nick had first heard Latham at White’s, he ignored the comment, as the man’s words about Priscilla had been his main concern.

But Nick could no longer dismiss it. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach about this business between Latham and Emma.

If their business dealings were legal, he couldn’t care less about it.

But due to both their pasts, illegal dealings were most likely what they were involved in.

And Nick had a huge problem with that. “What is the nature of this business? If you don’t tell me, I’ll dig until I find the answer.

If you do tell me, it goes no further than this room and a conversation with Latham.

” He motioned to his surroundings. “It looks as though Norton did well, I can’t believe you need the money from any business venture that Latham would be involved in. ”

She put the book down beside her and glared at him with angry eyes. “If I tell you, it stays between you, me, and Latham. No matter what I confide in you.”

“Agreed.” He hoped agreeing wouldn’t come back to haunt him.

“Here’s goes nothing,” she huffed. “I told you I was a barmaid when I came to London and was offered a better job by two tavern customers. What I left out was that they worked for Norton. Norton married me eventually, and I retired from an active role. However, the business continued scamming gullible people out of their money. My dear husband had been doing it for years before I met him, and yes, he amassed a fortune. But just before he died, Norton decided to retire from his active role, as well.”

“What about you? When exactly did you retire?” Nick was stunned to find out about Norton’s criminal side. He had never heard any rumors or gossip about the man. He had hidden his nefarious activities well.

“You were my last. He didn’t want me soiled by the business any longer.”

“Where does Latham fit into the equation?”

“Norton offered him the chance to take over the business—while still giving us a cut, of course.”

Nick cleared his throat. “Of course.”

“Since my husband’s death, I’ve been training him.”

“You’re doing a terrible job since you neglected to tell him to keep his mouth shut.”

“He’s obviously an idiot who fooled Norton,” she snapped.

“What will you do?” Nick asked.

“I don’t know.”

Nick stood and paced the room. “If I were you, I’d shut the business down.

Let your two hired men do what they want.

And warn Latham to keep his mouth shut before his tongue gets him in trouble.

” He paused right in front of her. “If you want to marry again within the ton , distance yourself from Norton’s past activities.

You said that you have money. Reenter Society after your mourning period.

As a wealthy widow, you shouldn’t have difficulty finding a husband. ”

“In the meantime, how will I occupy my time?” she pouted.

“Don’t you have any friends or acquaintances?”

“No.”

“Join a club or something. Work with a charity. Make friends, be useful, make yourself known so when you are out of mourning, single gentlemen will already be taking notice.”

“Why are you telling me all this?”

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Because I believe, deep down, that you are a good person who has lost sight of that.” It was a lie. He didn’t believe she was ever a good person, but he needed all this to come to an end.

“I hope you are right. I’ve been pretending to be someone else for so long I’ve forgotten who I am.”

“I’ll be watching both you and Latham. Distance yourself from him, or he will ruin you. As for him, he’ll ruin himself on his own.” He bowed. “Good day, Viscountess.”

Well, that had gone better than he expected, he mused as he entered his carriage. It was time for a much-needed drink, and he told Fitzroy to hurry to White’s.

About an hour into his visit, sitting and minding his business, Latham approached and said, “You cad, how could you tell her?”

That was fast. He’d only left Norton Hall a little over an hour ago. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Don’t play dumb with me. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Are you trying to ruin me?”

Nick indicated the chair across from him. “Take a seat. You and I have much to discuss.”

Latham took a seat and signaled for an attendant. “Whisky, please.” After he had his drink in hand, he glanced at Nick. “What could we possibly have to discuss?”

Nick raised an eyebrow. “Is your stupidity an act, or are you really ignorant about what’s happening around you?”

“I can visit my brother if I want to be insulted.”

“Fine. The first thing I want to discuss is Anne. How long?”

“How long what?”

“How long have you been bedding her?”

Latham counted on his fingers. “Almost nine months now.”

Nick fought to stay still. His answer meant that both of them were bedding Anne for several months. “Did you use a French letter?”

“Why would I? Anne understood the risks. ”

“Are you going to marry her?”

“You didn’t marry her, so why should I?”

Nick closed his eyes briefly, took a deep breath, and then exhaled. “Forget I asked. Will you take care of the child?”

“I have no money. I thought I would acquire some, but you ruined that for me now, too. So the answer is no. But there is good news for her: Anne agreed to marry her father’s assistant.”

“I’m glad to hear that. That’s one problem solved, and I won’t bring it up again.

Your brother need not know.” Nick sipped his brandy.

“I had to talk to the viscountess. I overheard you bragging about your new moneymaking venture. It would only be a matter of time before you got into trouble you couldn’t get out of.

Marry some unfortunate girl for her money and act like a gentleman. ”

Latham groaned and gulped his whisky. “I tried to do that with Priscilla, but once again, you interfered.”

“Fortunately for Lady Priscilla, I did. Whether you know it or not, you have a good life. Caldwell and his wife live with you; from what I understand, they manage your household and holdings. With your brother at the helm, your estates should become profitable. Have patience and learn from him.”

Latham stood up and left without saying a word. When Latham had first approached, Nick anticipated they might come to blows. Considering his nose was still broken, however, Latham was wise not to instigate an altercation that could turn into fisticuffs.