Page 10

Reagan1991 : I think you need to find her. It’s obvious that you two are meant to be.

Iloveladies180 : This breaks my heart. You lost the love of your life.

Reply to Iloveladies180 : She doesn’t know if that’s the love of her life. It could’ve just been a fun night out.

NDFBrulz : Damn! Sucks! I hope you find her.

GirlzGirlzGirlz : I sent this to my friend, and she and I both think you need to keep trying. We need this blog to go viral to help.

NAP1989 : I have a friend in New Orleans. I’ve asked her to see if she knows anyone named Sophie that might be your Sophie. I hope you find her.

Bryce read every comment on her blog, some of them repeatedly. There were at least three stories that people had posted about finding their own loves, and as much as Bryce was trying to move on from this, reading these comments and stories was only giving her hope that she could actually find Sophie one day. Again, she wondered why she hadn’t thought about doing this before. Right after she met Sophie, she could’ve typed a blog and sent it out into the world. She could’ve even still been in New Orleans, and maybe they’d be together now. Maybe they’d be talking about how crazy that night was as they ate breakfast after a night of making love for their one-year anniversary.

Of course, even if she had written the blog and she’d met up with Sophie there, they still might not have ended up liking each other enough to continue beyond that. She had to keep that in mind because picturing Sophie sitting next to her on her sofa was almost too much for her to handle. Bryce scrolled through the new likes and comments on her phone before opening one of her social profiles and seeing all the reposts, shares, and comments there. The blog had blown up overnight. With the addition of the second post, more people had read it and sent it to other people. Readers were now offering their help. Some had mentioned knowing people in New Orleans. Others said they had vacation plans there soon and would ask around. One person said they’d try to find the bar for her on their trip and see if anyone knew a woman named Sophie, who was a local. The ones who had no connection to the city offered to share the story online to help her find her. They shared it on Instagram and TikTok and talked about this woman named Bryce who was looking for this woman named Sophie, who might just be the love of her life.

Bryce hadn’t been prepared for that at all, and now, it was the only thing she wanted to write about. The food part of her blog hadn’t had an update in well over a week, which was pretty unusual for her, but she’d added more than four thousand subscribers to it because of her blogs about Sophie, and more and more people were coming to her site. So, while it might be forcing her to hang on to something that wasn’t ever going to happen for her, it was good for business.

At first, she wasn’t going to comment back and encourage people, but the outpouring of support had gotten to be too much, so she decided to post again.

If you’ve just joined this blog, you might think I only write about a woman named Sophie, who I met one night in New Orleans, but I actually write mostly about food. To my subscribers who are here for my take on restaurants and recipes, I’ll get you back to your regular blog soon, but this has taken on a life of its own, so I want to address it.

I wrote the first blog because I needed to get my feelings on the page for some reason that even I’m still unclear on. Just talking to my friends about it wasn’t helping, and I can honestly say that I feel much better now, just having posted the first blog. Now that people are following and interested in this story, I’m actually hopeful. I probably shouldn’t be because there’s no guarantee that this blog will reach her, but with all the help people have already given me by commenting, sharing the story, and offering to go to New Orleans and ask about Sophie, I feel like there’s a possibility that one day, I might get to see her again.

For those of you holding out for a happy ending, I wouldn’t hold your breath. The reality is that it’s already been a year, and Sophie could have moved on. We all, but mostly me, need to be prepared for that. I still can’t believe I didn’t get her number or at least tell her the name of my hotel so that she could find me there. I can’t believe I don’t have her last name or that I never gave her mine, or even the city I live in or something; really, anything about me at all that could help her find me if she was searching.

Even this blog doesn’t have my actual name on it. When I first started it, I thought alliteration would be better and catchy, so I went with Food with Foster. Foster is a name I found online that I liked, thinking that if I ever had a daughter, I might name her that. Now, I wish I had gone with Bryce’s Food Blog or something equally obvious because Sophie might have searched for it and commented, and I never would’ve had to write this story and put it out into the world.

I miss her. That’s the truth: I miss someone I hardly know. I miss her smile. I miss the blush she had when we first met. I miss the feel of her skin on mine, how amazing her lips felt, and how she laughed. I just need to know that she’s okay, that she’s happy, and I’d be okay. I could move on. But without knowing that, I’m here, stuck in limbo.

For those of you offering help, please do. I’m not normally someone who asks for it, but I sure could use it now. I had hoped to use this blog to move on, but now, I’m using it to find her. If you have a lot of followers or know someone who does, knows someone in New Orleans, especially in the gay community, and you can share this blog with them, I would be forever in your debt.

To Sophie, if you read this: I’m looking. I’m trying. I’m not giving up.

◆◆◆

“Another one?” Sean asked a few hours later when she appeared at Bryce’s front door.

“You’re early.”

“Traffic wasn’t bad,” Sean said as she walked in. “And a third blog about her?”

“Sean, just drop it. No one forces you to read my blog.”

“Normally, it’s about food,” Sean replied as she sat on Bryce’s sofa. “I like food.”

“It will be about food again, but you probably should’ve guessed by the title of this one that it wasn’t food-related.” Bryce sat down next to her. “Can I ask you something?”

“What?” Sean asked as she leaned back.

“Why does it bother you so much?”

“I told you.”

“Yes. But you said it was because we were together for two years, and I never talked about my feelings for you like that.”

“And that’s true.”

“But is it the whole truth?”

“What are you asking me, exactly, Bry?”

“I’m asking you if we need to talk.”

“About what?”

“You know,” Bryce replied. “Sean, do you still…”

“Oh, God.” Sean stood quickly. “Don’t bring that up.”

“The way you acted at the bar that night when I met Sophie, and every time I bring her up or someone I’m going on a date with, you–”

“Act like a good friend who doesn’t want to see you get hurt,” Sean interrupted.

“Megan and Kels do that, too, but they don’t act how you’re acting.”

“Bry, they weren’t your first girlfriend; the woman you lost your lady virginity to; the woman you fell in love with first.”

“But…” Bryce paused as she tried to figure out how to say this. “You know we’re better off as friends, right? We both decided that back then.”

“No, you decided that,” Sean replied. “I went along with it because it was easier than telling you that I was about six months away from asking you to marry me.”

Bryce swallowed and fell back into the sofa.

“Yeah…” Sean added. “You heard that right. The day after you broke up with me, I had a reservation for us where I was going to ask you to move in with me, and the plan was to go ring-shopping after that.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why would I want to embarrass myself like that?”

“Sean, we hardly ever had sex. We were basically friends already.”

Sean sat back down beside her and said, “When we got together, I knew you’d never been with a woman before. And don’t get me wrong, I loved having sex with you, Bryce, but you wanted it a lot more than I did. I don’t mean that you wanted me more than I wanted you ; just that my sex drive wasn’t as… active. I don’t know if that’s the right word. I liked it once a week or a few times a month. I like the long, all-night lovemaking where you wake up sore and exhausted and need a week to recover, and I like snuggling in between. You loved it practically all the time. When things started to slow down in that department, I thought we’d settled into the relationship part. Sex is less frequent once you’re out of the honeymoon period. And when we got to that place where it was once a week or even every couple of weeks, I wasn’t complaining. Did I ever complain?”

“No,” Bryce said as she thought back.

“And you didn’t, either,” Sean added. “So, I thought we were good. I thought we’d settled into what worked for both of us.”

“Sean, we both want to be the big spoon and on top.”

“I’m okay giving up my big spoon status every now and then,” Sean told her. “And I rolled over for you a few times.”

Bryce chuckled and said, “A few times.” She shook her head. “In the beginning, then, were you just giving me what I wanted?”

“Yes,” Sean replied honestly. “I didn’t mind, though.” She shrugged. “You’re gorgeous, and I was your first. I thought if you wanted to be on top, I could handle that because you give amazing orgasms, Bry.”

Bryce rolled her eyes and replied, “Sex isn’t just about that.”

“And we didn’t only have just sex. But if you’re asking me if I liked it when we mellowed out a little, yes is my answer. You never said anything to the contrary, though, so I thought we were on the same page. Then, one day, you’re ending things and acting like it’s amicable because we should have both realized that we weren’t meant to be, and I was planning a future for us. I accepted it because it’s embarrassing, thinking about me making plans to buy you a ring and you making plans to meet someone else.”

“It’s been years. You’ve never said anything.”

“I never really needed to,” Sean said. “You’ve gone out with a few women, and I know I’m no longer the only one you’ve been with, but you’ve never met anyone you wanted to bring home to your parents. Hell, you weren’t even out to them when we were together. Now, it’s like you spent one night with someone, and she inspired you to tell your mom and dad that you’re gay, and you’re writing these blogs about her that could easily be in a romance novel, and I’m reading them thinking about how I was going ring-shopping.”

“Sean, I’m sorry,” she said.

“I don’t need you to be sorry. I need you to get over this.”

“It’s not that simple. If I could, don’t you think I would have already?”

“You just asked the entire internet to help you find her. Do you really want to get over it?”

“No,” Bryce answered honestly. “I want to find her.”

“Because you think she’s the one?”

“I don’t know. I only know that I need to find her to put closure to this. If she’s not – at least, I’d know for sure, and I could actually move on the right way.”

“And what about me? I’m just supposed to wait?”

“What? No, Sean. There’s no waiting here. What do you think you’re waiting for?”

“For you to realize that we…” Sean faded out and stood back up. “There’s really no chance, is there?”

“For us? No, there’s not. I love you, but not in that way.”

“Right,” Sean said with a nod. “See? Embarrassing.”

Then, there was a knock at the door, and Bryce remembered for the first time that Megan and Kelsey were going out to dinner with them.

“Do you want me to tell them that we need to cancel?” Bryce asked.

“No, it’s fine.” Sean walked over to the door and unceremoniously pulled it open. “Hey,” she said with no emotion.

“Hey. You okay?” Kelsey asked.

“Yeah. I’m great,” she replied sarcastically.

“PMS?” Megan asked.

“No,” Sean replied. “Can we just go to dinner?”

“Sure.” Kelsey looked over at Bryce, who just shook her head, telling her to drop it.

“Yes, but are you–” Megan started. “Ow!”

Kelsey had elbowed her and gave her a glare.

“I mean, dinner. I’m hungry,” Megan said instead.

“She skipped lunch,” Kelsey replied.

“How do you know that?” Sean asked her.

“She told me when we drove over here,” Kelsey said with a look of confusion on her face. “And I did, too. So, can we go?”

“Yeah, just let me grab a sweater,” Bryce said.

“Bry, I saw the post. You’re asking people to help you find her. That’s so cool,” Megan noted. “It’s like this worldwide phenomenon now.”

“It’s no big deal,” she said as she reached for the sweater she’d left on the chair by the sofa. “It’s not going to work.”

“How do you know?” Kelsey asked. “I think it’s pretty romantic.”

“Romantic?” Sean asked. “You’re starting to sound like Megs over here.”

“I am not .” Kelsey chuckled. “I just think it’s sweet.”

“Sweet?” Bryce asked as she made her way to the door. “Yeah, that’s a Megan word. You’d usually say something like, ‘Cool,’ or, ‘Interesting.’”

“Anyway,” Kelsey said to her with wide eyes. “It’s cool and interesting, okay?”

Bryce laughed and replied, “We’ll see. Are we ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Sean spoke. “I’ll drive. Kels, shotgun?”

“No, Bry can have it,” Kelsey said as they left Bryce’s apartment.

Kelsey sometimes got carsick, which was why, for the majority of their road trip to New Orleans, she’d either driven or sat in the passenger’s seat.

“Megs?” Bryce asked, knowing Sean didn’t want Bryce sitting next to her on the drive to the restaurant.

“No, I’m okay in the back seat.”

Bryce had no recourse now, so she nodded, and they made their way to the car. She knew that it was odd for Kelsey to give up the front seat, but then she watched Kelsey pull the door open for Megan before walking around to the other side of Sean’s SUV and thought that was even stranger.

When she climbed into the passenger’s seat, though, she looked over at Sean.

“We’re okay, all right?” Sean told her as Megan laughed at something Kelsey had said in the back seat.

“Okay,” Bryce replied softly.