Page 48 of Manor of Wind and Nightmares (Fae of Brytwilde #3)

Then

M y eyes burned as I cradled my mug of tea, pretending the rising steam could soothe the permanent chill in my bones.

But nothing could erase a cold that stemmed from self-inflicted grief, or the ache of guilt that clung to me like a second skin.

I was heavy with pain I deserved. It was as if, as surely as I’d plunged that dagger into Kaede’s chest, I’d killed myself too.

Whatever this was, it was not living. Every color had dulled while every effort had intensified.

I walked through my days trapped in my own haunting thoughts, eating food that tasted of dirt and forcing smiles that tasted of lies.

My only purpose was to tend to my family’s needs, pretending as if the other lifetime I’d lived in the fae world had never happened, concealing the foul nature of my time and misdeeds there.

They didn’t care to know and inconvenience themselves with the discomfort of such odious tales, so they didn’t pry.

We were all content to ignore my suffering.

But today, a mere month since I’d murdered the man I’d loved, I could not try to bury myself in the mortal world.

Today, I sat in a tiny inn at the edge of town, one that was generally avoided by gentlemen and ladies.

Dressed in the only remaining fae outfit I had of leggings, a tunic, and a cloak with a heavy hood that, when pulled low, concealed my face, I’d snuck into a shadowy corner of the inn’s main room and bided my time.

The message had arrived like any of my usual correspondence, taking me by surprise when I’d sliced open the envelope and perused the contents to find a simple note with this location and a time, along with Emberglade’s crest stamped at the bottom.

When King Wystan entered the inn, I knew he’d glamoured himself as a human for all but me, because the innkeeper and other guests paid him no heed.

He approached my table and settled in the chair across from me, grinning like a devil.

His orange eyes were sharp enough to search one’s soul.

A painful reminder of his magical ability.

I took a sip of my tea, though, to me, it tasted of nothing. It was too hot and burned my tongue, but I scarcely registered the pain.

“Miss Sinclair. Honestly, I never expected to see you again. Alive, that is.”

“I know you didn’t trouble yourself to enter the human world to exchange pleasantries,” I said.

“Indeed not.” He tossed a heavy bag jingling of coins onto the table.

“This is a matter of business. I consider myself a man of my word, and I promised your family wealth in exchange for you completing your mission successfully. And since that is what you did, and word reached my ear that your greedy family already spent the first portion of your allowance, I’ve brought more. ”

Eyes widening at his lack of discretion, I hurried to conceal the bag within my cloak before any of the other guests noticed. “Why not send a servant to deliver this?” I questioned. Surely the king had more important matters to tend to.

His smile was slow and wicked. “I do, but I also came to relish your emotions. They have not disappointed. Since I am not wholly fae, my magic is not sustained by my land’s as theirs is. Mine is replenished by feeding off your suffering.”

I forced myself to conceal my grimace, even if I knew he could read every disgusted thought and could enjoy my feelings as they bolstered his magic even more. I hated that my grief and misery was strengthening him. I hated him .

And that hatred, ironically, probably only strengthened him too.

The waitress bustled over to take King Wystan’s order, briefly interrupting our exchange.

My heart sank at the weight of the bag. If only my family hadn’t been so foolish and extravagant in my absence. If only we could go in time and undo those mistakes so that they did not have to sell our estate.

Then again, if I was wishing for the impossible, I might as well have wished Prince Kaede back to life.

“There will be a steady supply of coins for you and your family. This is only the beginning. And you have my word that your family will not be troubled or threatened by myself or any of my people. You have my protection.”

My tongue felt leaden. “And my identity,” I rasped. “My name, my description, my home, my family—all must be concealed to truly protect my father and sisters.”

“Yes. As promised, none of that has been or will be revealed.”

King Wystan accepted his drink from the waitress, and I paid for mine. As I rose, leaving my half-finished mug, I hesitated. “The war you wanted has begun?”

“Yes,” the king said smugly. “Without Prince Kaede, Willowbark will be easy to defeat.”

My stomach churned, bile souring my mouth as I considered the awful consequences of Kaede’s death.

It was unbearable enough to know I’d murdered him, but to consider that I’d also brought misery and death to the kingdom and people he had loved and served?

I swallowed, forcing my pain down, down, and clinging to facts.

My family was safe from starvation, humiliation, and harm now. We could continue life as we always had, just in a new city, a new home. My sisters could marry or choose to stay single, such was our wealth. We would never want for anything ever again.

As I exited the inn, I felt King Wystan’s eyes searing me, reading my thoughts and relishing my grief.