Page 35 of Manor of Wind and Nightmares (Fae of Brytwilde #3)

Then

M y gown whispered along the stone pathway through the gardens as I passed the fountain and approached the arch where my groom waited for me.

Clothed in black trimmed in Willowbark green and gold with a matching mask, he cut a tall, imposing figure.

Even his eyes were inscrutable, for he seemed to be deliberately avoiding my gaze, staring out over the gardens rather than looking toward me.

Almost unconsciously, my eyes swept over the few who’d gathered for the ceremony: the queen and princess, my maids, Ji and the other councilors, and some guards posted about the perimeter of the courtyard.

Musicians tucked into spaces throughout the garden played a haunting tune, bittersweet rather than joyful, or perhaps it only sounded that way to my ears.

There was no sign of Captain Junseo, and I didn’t know if I was relieved or pained to note that fact.

At last, I paused at the arch, where greenery and boughs of cherry blossoms blocked the evening sun, granting the prince and me a patch of shade.

Turning to face the prince, I found that he towered over me. My mouth dried. Who was this still, silent man I had to kill?

For a moment, I had the mad idea to turn and run. Then I repeated my sisters’ names, grounding myself. Leaving wasn’t a choice.

“Today, councilors, you bear witness to a much-hoped-for union between the kingdoms of Emberglade and Willowbark,” Queen Ara announced.

I couldn’t look at her and the hope etched across her face.

I stared at the ground.

If the prince wouldn’t look at me, I would avoid his gaze, too.

The queen continued praising the wonders of the marriage that was about to seal the alliance, asking the gods for their blessings upon her son and me and upon the peoples of both kingdoms. Then, as she directed Prince Kaede and me to clasp hands, I forced myself not to startle at the gentleness in his touch.

His hands were large, warm, and calloused as they cradled my fingers.

Still, I didn’t look up, choosing instead to stare at our joined hands.

The heat of my mask made it difficult to breathe. Sweat beaded on my forehead.

“Please make your vows.”

This was the part that I’d been carefully instructed on, for fae weddings were not like mortal ones, where we recited traditional vows. Here, we were to come up with our own.

The prince’s voice was muffled behind his mask. “Princess Briar of Emberglade, I take you as my bride and princess, to rule my kingdom at my side as my equal. I offer you my loyalty and my devotion. None other will lay claim to my heart, so long as we both live.”

My lungs were heavy, the stale air in my mask growing stifling.

What a hefty promise from a man whom I’d never even met.

Did he truly believe he would fall for Princess Briar?

Swallowing the bitter taste in my mouth, I began.

“Prince Kaede of Willowbark, I take you as my husband and swear my faithfulness to you.” My voice cracked, and I cringed inwardly.

I hesitated, thinking of my task. Thinking of a different pair of gentle hands and a forbidden dance in the rain.

“Please accept my hand as a demonstration of the peace between our kingdoms, and my vow to uphold the good of both.”

Queen Ara closed the ceremony with more words, but I continued to feel disconnected from my body. The time was drawing nearer when I’d be alone with the prince, a time when he’d be most vulnerable. It would be my best chance to strike and then try to flee back to my family.

With each heavy beat of my heart, I shoved the horror further down into my body, letting numbness overtake me. I focused on facts, calculating what my moves would be. I had to keep a clear head.

I could not fail.

As the crowd dispersed to indulge in wine and other delicacies waiting back within the palace, my maids encircled me as my escort back to my rooms. These would be my final moments to collect myself and take my last dose of potion before I entered Prince Kaede’s quarters and whatever awaited me there.

“Don’t ruin this, or you know what happens,” Sage said with a roll of her eyes as she watched me swallow down my final vial of potion. “You’re already sweating abominably.” She sniffed and lifted a cool cloth to my forehead, trying to wipe away the evidence of my humanity and fear.

“You’ll give yourself away before you can strike,” Ellery complained. “No fae princess would sweat like that. Or look afraid on her wedding night.” She crinkled her nose.

I could scarcely concentrate on their talk.

Panic had me in its claws, so I focused on the weight of the dagger in my hidden pocket.

In my mind, I ran through my escape route, one I’d learned of during my time in Emberglade and ascertained still existed during my explorations yesterday.

I closed my eyes and pictured Father, Lavinia, and Callista.

Imagined myself finally walking through the doors of my home in Greybrooke.

Of collapsing into bed, able to let the weight of my grief and guilt overtake me, but also able to finally feel like my family and I were safe . Free.

It was that feeling that held me together, letting me even out my breaths and clear my mind.

When they deemed me relaxed and clean enough, my maids escorted me to the prince’s rooms. Daisy tossed one significant glance over her shoulder as they swept away, likely to sneak out of the palace before I struck and condemned us all.

For a moment, I hesitated outside the door with my hand lingering on the knob.

I repeated my family’s names like a mantra in my head, breathing in, out, in, out.

Then, I allowed myself one more moment of hesitation, one brief fantasy of running away.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I let it flutter behind my eyelids like a taunting butterfly, lovely and elusive, and then I counted to ten, dispelling the images.

I opened the door.

Everything was surprisingly bright and open, an inviting space lined with shelves overflowing with books, vases of dried flowers, and a thick, cream rug that was possibly more cushioned than my mattress at home.

On the far side of the room, the glass doors leading to the balcony were cracked open.

They permitted a breeze, heavy with the fragrances of the garden and the sounds of the ongoing wedding celebration.

And in front of those doors, silhouetted in the moonlight, was Prince Kaede, facing away.

His view overlooked the gardens, but not the festivities, which were taking place deeper on the grounds.

Leaning against the doorframe, he still held his mask loosely at his side, still wore his crisp black wedding outfit.

I approached on light feet, my eyes taking in the rest of the room: the canopied bed to the left, the curtains partially drawn as if to make it less foreboding for our first meeting.

A door leading to the halls, another to a walk-in wardrobe, and a third to the adjoining washroom.

The low-burning fire in the hearth, casting the bed and the rug spread before it in a warm, golden glow.

A side table full of various bottles of wine and other libations, jewel-toned and lovely, along with a half-full wineglass and another, empty and waiting.

“I’m afraid I must beg your forgiveness, princess,” came a familiar voice that made shivers ripple up my spine.

I nearly stumbled on my next step as he turned around, discarding the mask on the side table beside the wineglasses.

My stomach tightened; my head grew light. “Captain? Why are you...”

I trailed off, reading the regret and uncertainty in the furrows on Junseo’s brow as he stood, not in his Willowbark guard uniform, but the clothes of Prince Kaede, the man I’d just married.

The man I had to kill.

“You...” Mouth dry, I tried to swallow, but my throat was tight, and it seemed the lump that had grown there was trapped.

“I’m sorry that I deceived you, but I wanted to meet you—feared that I was about to be trapped in a marriage with a cruel woman. As prince, I’m required to spend time serving as the captain of the guard, and my other given name is Junseo. Everything I shared with you was the truth, save for...”

“The most important truth that you withheld from me,” I whispered, frozen in place, staring at the man whom, in only a few short days, I’d grown so close with, grown to understand so well. The man I’d...

I shook my head. Junseo—Prince Kaede—must have thought I was horrified by his deception, questioning if I knew him at all. But I understood his motivation for what he’d done. I understood, and I hated it, and suddenly all my resolve was shaken for one bone-chilling instant.

Callista. Father. Lavinia. I repeated their names, imagining the horrors that awaited them if I failed in my mission, if I failed them.

Prince Kaede strode toward me, clasping my hands in his warm, calloused ones, cradling them as he studied my face. Desperate. Pleading. “Can you forgive me, Briar?”

The name grated on my ears. He was looking at someone else’s face. Using someone else’s name.

It was a reminder, sharp and awful.

“I wanted to get to know you, and I couldn’t reveal my identity because of my kingdom’s tradition and my promise to my mother for my own safety’s sake.

.. I had to make my guards vow not to reveal my secret to you, just as I’d been forced to take my own vow.

Thankfully, my promises weren’t specific enough.

..they didn’t prevent me from venturing out and meeting you as Captain Junseo, and so I went.

Because I’ve been hidden within the palace for so long, there aren’t many of my own people who would recognize me, though my guards also ensured I didn’t show my face too often while we journeyed.

” His throat worked. “And it was worth it to have that time with you. Princess, you are unlike anything I expected. You are...” He hesitated, his depthless gaze searing me.