Page 12 of Manor of Wind and Nightmares (Fae of Brytwilde #3)

His directness startled me from my thoughts.

I set my bowl aside, choosing my words carefully.

“Eager is not the word I would choose,” I said primly.

“Curious, yes. But eager?” I rolled my eyes.

“I had countless handsome, influential suitors back home, and now my chance to choose my partner has been taken. An arranged marriage is a duty, nothing more.”

A woman seated near Lavender giggled. “You may change your mind when you meet him.” She shared a knowing look with Lavender before smirking at Junseo.

I arched an eyebrow in a silent question. Inwardly, eagerness flared to life as I waited and hoped they would share valuable information about their prince.

“It’s true,” Junseo added, amusement dancing in his eyes. Were they teasing me? Hoping to see me react to their talk of their prince? “He is known for his handsome features and charm. He is quite desired among the women of his court.”

Flint and the other guards laughed along with him.

“Ah, so he understands the pain of having every choice available to him...and then none at all.” I crossed my arms.

Junseo’s gaze swept over me, but this time, I didn’t feel embarrassed about the way the nightdress clung to me.

Instead, I felt exposed in a different way, as if he somehow saw through the potion’s disguise to my human appearance—and even beyond that, into my soul.

“He understands his duty to his people.”

I swallowed. As I know mine to my family.

Finishing the rest of my meal in silence, I set my bowl on the ground and glanced hopefully at the rows of bedrolls the guards had laid out. Junseo caught my eye and stood, nodding to me as a smile twitched at his lips.

Foreboding stirred in my stomach. “Could you show me where I am to sleep?”

“Follow me,” he said, turning from the fire and following the riverbank. He pushed past the low-hanging branches of a willow to gesture toward a secluded bedroll, tucked cozily by its thick trunk.

I raised my eyebrows, torn between relief and surprise. “I’m allowed some privacy? It’s not too dangerous ?” I emphasized the last word, thinking of how he’d insisted on sharing the cramped buggy with me as a precaution.

Junseo ran a hand through his hair, mussing it. “Unfortunately, that’s not quite true. I’ll have to remain nearby. If anything happened to you, I’d be held responsible, and it could start a war between our kingdoms.”

My throat tightened, my eyes darting about to reassure myself of something I already knew: there was no second bedroll.

Junseo cleared his throat. “One of my men was careless in packing. We never thought we’d be forced to stop anywhere outside an inn. I’ll sleep on the ground.”

The fact that he seemed as uncomfortable by our forced proximity as I was brought me a measure of relief. But only a measure.

Swallowing thickly, I turned away so he didn’t see the embarrassment and fear on my face.

Instead, I pretended to be annoyed—an entitled princess frustrated she couldn’t have her way.

I sank into the bedroll, which unfortunately was cooler than the evening air due to resting on the chilly ground, and I gritted my teeth to avoid shivering.

Neither Junseo nor I spoke as I closed my eyes, waiting for my body heat to warm the bedroll and praying for sleep to take me. Once I was asleep, he couldn’t prod me with questions. And I couldn’t fail to act like a convincing fae.

“Goodnight, princess.” Amusement tinged Junseo’s tone again. Apparently he’d recovered from his earlier discomfort.

Cracking my eyes open, I studied where he lay on the ground, arms behind his head as he peered through the willow’s boughs at the stars appearing in the darkening sky.

My heart skipped a beat when I realized he’d removed his jacket despite the night’s growing chill.

In a loose white shirt with its arms rolled up to his elbows, he looked far too casual to be alone with me.

But that is a human thought. Fae do not care about propriety, I reminded myself.

And your reputation will be tarnished back home anyway if anyone realizes how much time you spent in the fae world—or discovers what you’ve done here.

Biting back my sigh, I rolled onto my other side to face away from him, only to groan when I settled onto a root.

This time, Junseo didn’t hold back his chuckle. It was rich and deep—annoyingly so.

Refusing to respond, I closed my eyes. Somehow, despite the cold, I drifted into uneasy dreams, filled with attacking goblins I slew until blood soaked the ground.

I woke with a stifled groan, blackness overwhelming my vision.

Something pressed against my mouth. Heart slamming against my ribs, I thrashed, finding myself held down by something heavy and solid.

“Hush, princess.” It was Junseo’s whispered voice, his breath feathering against my ear. “You’ll draw unsavory creatures to us if you’re not quiet.”

Sucking in slow, deep breaths through my nose, I forced my body to still and my mind to calm.

Reassured by the way I’d settled, Junseo pulled back enough that I could see his jacket had been blocking my view while he’d hovered over me, pressing his mouth close to my ear.

His dark eyes swept over my face as he withdrew his hand. “Nightmares?” he murmured.

The vividness of my dreams was swiftly melting into mortification. Junseo’s body was pressed against mine, the hard lines of his muscles too easy to sense even through the bedroll separating us.

“In a sense,” I said. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep for a while.”

“From the fight?” Junseo’s expression softened in understanding. “And your kill.”

I flicked my gaze away, feeling too exposed under his searching look.

Without another word, the captain shifted off me, taking his body heat. He settled on the earth nearby. “I’ll stay awake with you,” he said softly.

I forced levity into my voice. “Perhaps I’ll die from the torment of being forced to endure your presence.”

Junseo chuckled. “Perhaps, but you’ll be distracted from thinking about your nightmares.”

I sighed.

“There is no shame in being troubled by your first kill.” Junseo’s voice was surprisingly gentle, without a hint of a jest.

I blinked against the burning sensation in my eyes, wishing I was anywhere but here. If I couldn’t cope with slaying a goblin in self-defense, how would I ever assassinate the prince? How would I endure the guilt afterward?

But if I failed, Daisy and the other maids sent with me would report back to King Wystan. There would be no mercy for my family, and it would be as if I had been the one to sign their death warrants. That guilt I most certainly would never survive.

After a long moment, I spoke. “I am not used to hearing such words—especially from a captain of the guard.” I imagined that if I were the true Princess Briar, I would have said something much harsher, judging Junseo for supposed weakness.

She and her father were as vicious and cruel as I’d expected the fae to be.

Junseo’s voice turned even softer, as if he were breathing a confession into the night.

“Valuing life is not a weakness.” He hesitated.

“As a guard, one of the things I’ve learned is that—yes, I may need to stomach violence—but I also need to know when violence is necessary and when mercy is an option. And mercy is not weakness either.”

Startled, I turned to him, struggling to study his features in the darkness.

Starlight mirrored in his eyes, making them look like a reflection of the night sky—a deep, velvety hue flecked with gleaming specks of silver.

His expression was earnest, the charming, jesting man replaced with someone I knew was being utterly sincere.

Even if fae could not lie, I knew they could twist the truth, but there was nothing false about Junseo’s proclamation.

He believed his words, believed in mercy.

Suddenly, my skin felt too flushed, too tight.

My breath was trapped in my lungs. I couldn’t let myself soften toward this man, even if he surprised me with his gentleness.

For all intents and purposes, he was my enemy as surely as Prince Kaede was, and I’d be betraying him as well when I finished my mission.

“How do you manage?” I whispered. “How do you cope with the violence, if it goes against the very nature of your heart?”

Junseo smiled slowly, and I had to avert my eyes from those dimples, from that sharp jaw, and from the tenderness in his expression. My chest ached with an unfamiliar feeling I refused to analyze.

“By knowing that what I do is to protect those I care about.”

I huffed out a laugh. “And those you wish you didn’t have to be assigned to.”

“When you stop pretending to be who you think you’re expected to be and show me who you really are...I do not mind it so much.”

I drew in a slow, shaky breath. For a moment, raw terror gripped me, before I realized what he was actually saying. The captain had no idea that I was pretending to be the princess. He thought I was wearing a mask, behaving like my family and my kingdom wanted me to, rather than being myself.

What would he think if he knew the truth?

“Thank you for comforting me,” I said at last, letting my eyes drift closed. I tried to hold his words close— by knowing that what I do is to protect those I care about. That was exactly why I was here.

Somehow, I was able to slip back into sleep, this time dreamless.