Page 10 of Making Haven (Haven #1)

Lawrence

What the hell is happening right now?

Part of me thinks I should be slowing things down. I should push Devin away and talk this out. I should figure out where we stand with each other. This feels so fucking stupid.

Instead, I pull Devin tighter against me.

He sucks in a sharp breath which I catch with my lips.

He’s so fucking alive. I can hear his heart beating in his chest, his breath coming out in sharp pants between our hurried kisses.

He’s so warm against me. I can hear the swoosh of his blood coursing through his veins.

Devin is addicting and now that I’ve started kissing him, I don’t think I’ll ever want to stop.

We both kick off our shoes, making our way further into the house. We drop our bags, uncaring where they land. I shove my hands under his shirt in order to feel his skin. It’s scorching against my fingers.

“Cold,” Devin hisses against my lips but he doesn’t pull away. I feel his skin break out with goosebumps and my stomach flutters pleasantly.

Devin has been suspicious of me since the moment we met. Why is he suddenly on board with this? Why the fuck is he letting me in?

Why am I getting swept away in this?

My back hits the wall and Devin is crowding against me. He tilts my head up to give himself a better angle, his tongue diving into my mouth. As much as I want to overthink this, Devin is making sure I can’t.

Warm fingers crawl up my sides under my shirt, making a shiver of delight go through me. Devin’s hips pin me to the wall and I moan, feeling his erection press against my hip. He’s so hard from me, from my kisses. God, my head is spinning.

“I can see you overthinking,” Devin murmurs, his mouth moving away from mine in order to lay wet, sloppy kisses against my jaw. “Don’t think. Just live, Lawrence.”

My chest tightens painfully. I feel like I’ve just been punched in the gut.

Lawrence is asking me to live. It’s the end of the world and I’ve done my best to keep myself safe, keep myself alive.

I’ve taken care of the land, my animals, and myself.

But being alive and living are two different things.

I’ve been so lonely these last couple years, an ache that I haven’t been able to heal. An ache for companionship, for someone to lean on, for anyone to be here with me. Could Devin be the answer to this longing? Would he consider staying and making a life here?

Fuck, maybe I’m reading too much into this. He was so set on leaving once his leg was better. Maybe it’s best I just enjoy this companionship he’s offering me while he’s here. This thing between us might not last forever but it’s here, now. I should enjoy this, enjoy him while I can.

I shove Devin back but keep my hands buried in his shirt. Walking backwards, I pull him deeper into the house. His eyes darken in a way that makes my belly flutter and I find myself grinning up at him.

As we walk, Devin begins tugging at our clothes.

He pulls off my shirt before tossing his own.

Then we stumble out of our pants, stopping to shuffle and hop on one leg, getting caught in our clothes and laughing.

It feels so carefree, to laugh with someone.

It makes something inside of me soften. The longing inside of me dies down, a distant ache that’s slowly dissipating.

“Come on,” I say with a grin, turning us until Devin is the one walking backwards. The moment his legs hit his bed, I shove him down. Devin looks up at me with hooded lids. He’s in nothing but his boxers, the sight of them tented with his erection makes my mouth water.

I want him. I want him desperately, in an animalistic way I’ve done my best to bury since becoming a vampire. I can feel my fangs aching to pop down, wanting to bury themselves inside of his skin while I rut against him.

But I won’t. I can’t lose this little bridge of trust we’re forming.

I kneel on the bed at his feet, leaning forward to tug his boxers down. My mouth waters at the sight he makes. I want to get my mouth on him so fucking badly and the look in Devin’s eyes tells me he wants the same. I stop holding myself back.

My fingers slide up his thighs and Devin opens them for me, making room for me to kneel. Leaning down, I bury my nose against his pubic hair, breathing him in. God, he smells so fucking good.

Devin’s hands find my hair, burying themselves in the strands and using them to direct me exactly where he wants my mouth. I can’t help but smile, my stomach swooping with anticipation and something close to amusement as he groans in frustration.

“Don’t fucking sniff it,” he grumbles under his breathe. “Suck me. Please.”

It’s the soft ‘please’ that Devin tacks onto the end that does me in.

I lick his cock from the base up to the tip, digging my tongue into the slit.

Devin’s reaction is immediate, letting out a long groan, his fingers tightening in my hair.

I’ve never had my hair pulled before. I’m finding that I like it.

“Fucking yes.”

I open my lips, taking the tip of his cock into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it before taking him in deeper. My mouth must feel good based on the breathy little noises that Devin is making above me.

One of the beauties of being a vampire is that I don’t need to breathe, which means I can take Devin’s cock into my throat and keep him there until he’s moaning unashamedly, his hips rising off the bed as he desperately tries to get some sort of friction going.

He sounds so fucking sexy like this and it’s driving me wild with lust. I want him so badly.

I want him more than just this one time but if this is the only time I can have him, I have to make it worth it.

Pulling off Devin’s cock with a wet pop, I crawl across his body in order to steal his lips in a heated kiss.

I plunge my tongue into his mouth, chasing his, moaning when they touch.

Devin’s hands slide over my body, feeling my chest then down to my hips and then finally my ass, squeezing my cheeks through my boxers.

I let out a noise of surprise as Devin flips us over so he’s the one hovering over me.

For a split second, I swear I see a grin on Devin’s face before it melts away into his usual calm demeanor.

Damn, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything prettier than this man’s smile.

I wish there was a way to properly break down his walls so I could see it again.

I wrap my legs around Devin’s hips, tugging him down so his body is pressed against mine. He feels so warm, so alive. I’m desperate for more. I’m desperate for anything he’s willing to give me. I think for the first time since becoming a vampire, I crave something more than blood.

Devin kisses my chest, doing his best to suck a mark into my pale skin only to watch the skin slowly heal once he’s done. He huffs in annoyance before moving lower, biting both of my hips hard enough to make me moan. Finally, he moves to pull my boxers away.

“Oh. Shit, Lawrence, I’m sorry,” he murmurs, his cheeks turning bright red. “If you weren’t into it, you should have said something.”

“What? I’m really into this. I want you to fuck me.”

His eyes take me in and he shakes his head. I’m about to argue with him before I look down at what he’s looking at, understanding hitting me all at once. “But you’re not--”

I blow out a long breath. “I can’t get hard right now,” I tell him, doing my best to put him at ease by giving him a small smile. “I haven’t had blood recently. When I’ve freshly fed, I can get hard but right now I’ll just be soft.”

“So,” Devin says slowly, “you’re still into this?”

“Very much so,” I tell him, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him down. “Please. I want this, Devin. Fuck me.”

Devin makes a broken noise before he’s kissing me again. His hips drive down against me, pushing against my balls and cock. Fuck, I might not be able to get hard but it still feels amazing. Heat pools in the pit of my gut.

I spread my thighs wide, watching as Devin spits onto his fingers and brings them down to my ass. I moan as those fingers touch my hole, circling it gently before pushing forward. Oh my god. It’s been so fucking long since I’ve done this. I’ve forgotten how good the stretch feels.

“Keep going,” I tell him. I look up at Devin who’s leaned back, watching where his finger is buried inside of me. He has a look to his eyes, something between hunger and awe. Maybe he’s just as shocked that we’re actually doing this as I am.

Devin spits on my ass, using it to add another finger.

I do my best to keep myself relaxed, letting him in.

He takes his time, fingering me open until I’m a panting mess despite not needing the air to survive.

It’s an instinct to keep pulling these lungfuls of breaths in.

My fingers tighten around the sheets below me, my head tosses back and forth until I can’t take this a moment longer.

“Come on, Devin. I’m a vampire, I won’t break. Fuck me and fuck me hard.”

I push Devin back, biting my bottom lip to keep the whine at bay from feeling so empty so suddenly. I curl myself in half in order to get my mouth on Devin’s cock once more, getting it sloppy and wet with my mouth.

Devin pulls his hips back before repositioning his cock to my ass. I lie back and close my eyes, wanting to savor this feeling. I want to bottle this up and hold it close. I want to memorize this moment so I can replay it over and over and over again when Devin decides to leave.

“Hey,” he breathes out, placing the head of his cock against my hole. I open my eyes and look up at him in question. “Stay with me. Stay present.”

I hate that he’s able to read me. When the fuck did that happen?

I nod my head, keeping my eyes on his face as he slowly pushes forward, penetrating me. His face morphs with pleasure, his pretty brown eyes widening until his hips are pressed against my ass.

If I thought his fingers were warm inside of me, his cock is scorching. Like hot lava being poured inside my body. It almost hurts with how hot it is, but I embrace it, letting the pain add to my pleasure. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.

I’m expecting Devin to completely let go and fuck me with abandon. I’m expecting him to chase his pleasure without thinking about the fact that he’s fucking me.

Of course, I’m surprised once again as he leans down, cupping my face in his hands.

Devin presses sloppy kisses into my skin, using them to hide his tiny little whimpers and murmurs of pleasure.

This has to be fucking with his head as much as it’s fucking with mine.

We don’t even like each other yet I don’t think I’ve felt this close to another person ever, even before the virus started to spread.

We’re both here. We’re both alive. We’re both choosing to live.

A bond is forming between us whether we like it or not. It’s going to hurt so fucking badly when that is severed.

“Fuck,” Devin breathes out, his hips picking up speed, slapping into me over and over. The sound of thunder rumbles and occasionally, lightning flashes, lighting up the room around us. “Fuck. I’m not gonna last long.”

“Been a while for the both of us,” I say with a snicker, watching as Devin smiles down at me. Lightning flashes and the smile is gone once again.

Devin adjusts himself so he can pull my hips into his lap and fuck up into me, nailing my prostate with every thrust. Fuck.

Jesus Christ, he’s good at this. I can’t stop the whimpers from leaving my throat, overwhelmed with pleasure.

That heat that’s been pooling in the pit of my stomach is growing even hotter, boiling over until cascades of pleasure are running over my body.

“Close. I’m so close. Keep going,” I hiss out, biting my bottom lip. Everything is so good, so overwhelming. A surge of pain in my lip makes my eyes snap open, realizing in my bliss that my fangs have come down.

Devin stares at me with wide eyes, but his movements never miss a beat. He continues to stare down at me, fucking me in quick bursts. I grab his wrist, pulling his hand to cover my cock. I grind against his palm until it’s too much.

I cry out in pleasure as my balls draw up and I come, spurting cum against Devin’s palm. He curses above me, his hips stuttering as he finds his own release. The feeling of him coming inside of me, of his hot seed marking my insides makes my head spin. It’s so good, so fucking good.

Devin lies against me, his cock still inside of me. He kisses me. He kisses me despite my fangs being down, careful not to cut himself. Something inside of me breaks. I’m completely and utterly splayed open for him, knowing it’ll most likely be the death of me but finding it worth it.

Devin wanted to fuck to feel alive, but me? I needed this vulnerability, I needed to open myself up to him and let him truly see me to feel like I’m living.

It’s intoxicating. I’m drunk off of it, off of him.

Eventually, Devin’s kisses slow. I tighten my hand, only just now realizing he’s holding it, our fingers laced together. My stomach swoops but this time for an entirely different reason. The lust is gone, being replaced by a different type of warmth.

My free hand slides up Devin’s spine, pushing him down until he’s burying his face against my throat. Carefully, he pulls his hips back, wincing as he slides free from my body. We hold each other for so long the storm passes and the rain outside stops falling.

I clear my throat and I feel Devin pull a face. I can imagine his brows wrinkling and his frown deepening. “I should, you know, head back to my place now that the rain has stopped,” I whisper, trying to believe my words. I want to stay, but that’s a recipe for disaster, isn’t it?

Best not to ruin a good thing.

“You don’t have to go,” Devin says right away, tightening his hold on my hand. “Stay the night. Or the day. Whatever.”

I want to stay so fucking badly despite knowing how much I shouldn’t. It would be so much smarter to tell him good night and head back to my place. I should push him away and put some distance between us. I should cut this off before I can grow too attached.

If I’m being honest, it’s too late for that.

“Okay,” I breathe out, wrapping my free arm around his back and holding him tight, probably borderline too tight. “I’ll stay.”

“Good,” he whispers back, tucking himself against me and closing his eyes. I fall asleep holding Devin, hoping I haven’t just set myself up for heartbreak despite knowing that I have. I fall asleep ignoring every red flag and instead, enjoying Devin while I have him.