Page 28 of Make Me Scream (Visceral #2)

He drops my backpack beside me, and I rifle through it until I find my bottle of lube. “You’ve got condoms, don’t you?”

“You don’t?” he asks, sounding surprised.

“I know,” I reprimand myself. “I’m truly slacking, I tell you. You’re my first in so long,” I tell him, licking my lips and fluttering my lashes, just to get him going even harder, and he eats it up just like I knew he would.

I drop my bag to the floor and lean back on the bed, waggling the bottle of lube in front of my face. The cap pops open easily, slightly sticky from use and halfway gone. I dump some on my fingers and reach down between my spread legs. All the while, Jason stares at me, entranced.

Heat blooms on my face as I reach between my legs, sticky fingers skimming my dick. I cup my balls and groan loudly as my fingers tease my taint, pressing against it.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Jason groans loudly, crawling across the bed, and I smirk.

“I know.”

“Cocky, too.”

“Mmm.” I moan as I circle my entrance, putting on a show for Jason as I feel how the skin is tight and wrinkled and soft. It’s hard to believe it’s been a couple weeks since I’ve been fucked.

Since Peris has fucked me…

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to halt that train of thought right in its path, but just like every part of me where Peris is involved, he takes over.

Beams of golden-green flash in my mind’s eye, causing my lips to part as the depth of color slowly blurs and then fades into long, veiny arms that bounce a basketball on an old, shitty park court.

My eyes follow the lines of veins up his exposed biceps to brown curls that recoil with his movement, and I feel the ache in my fingers—the desperation to feel those very curls in my own hands.

But no.

I force my eyes open, finding Jason staring at me with a half-lidded gaze, lips parted as he breathes heavily, hand stroking his cock as I work my index and middle fingers in and out of my hole.

Peris isn’t here.

I am.

I’m doing this to him—to us—and there’s no going back.

Shame.

It comes to me in static-like waves as I lie in a mixture of sweat and cum, adhered to my body like a second skin.

Jason’s breath fans across my face every few seconds, causing my hair to tickle my nose, but I can’t be bothered to move it—to do anything at all.

If I move, I think I might cry. And I can’t do that. I might lose the money I worked so hard to earn.

“Damn, baby boy, that was the best sex of my fucking lifeeee, ” Jason groans loudly as he rolls and stretches out on his back, limbs shaking. I try to smirk, to give him something, but every part of me is gone.

I’m finally as hollow as I’ve always wanted to be.

Way to go, Abel. You finally fucking did it.

“I’m exhausted,” he drawls after a minute, rolling back to face me and draping his arm over my face. It restricts my breathing, but that’s okay. I don’t really want to breathe anyway. Jason draws in closer, and in my peripheral, I notice his dark eyebrows pull together slightly. “What’s wrong?”

Fuck. I have to talk.

Why is this so hard?

“Y-yeah,” I croak, fighting past the lump in my throat. The muscles in my face fight against what I tell them to do—which is to fucking smile. “Just tired.”

“Oh, me, too. I could sleep for ages. Wanna stay here tonight?” he asks.

“If you wanna pay me,” I rebound, deciding to risk it. After all, if he does and as shitty as I feel, being here is better than going back to Lucy’s and possibly having to deal with Adam all alone…

“I know better than to expect you for free, baby. Of course, I’ll pay whatever.”

“Good. It’ll be a grand on top,” I mutter, feigning nonchalance and expecting him to scoff in my face.

“All right,” Jason agrees readily and tugs me into his chest, closing his eyes. I balk for a moment, temporarily forgetting every shitty feeling coursing through my body at his casual agreement.

“No offence, Jason, but I’m gonna need to see it now…

” I drawl slowly, arching a brow. He cracks open a bleary eye and then winks before he saunters across the room, bare ass jiggling as he finds his discarded pants and pulls out his wallet.

He thumbs through a wad— a wad! —of cash before tossing his wallet on the nearest table and handing me my money with a soft, tired smile and a kiss to my forehead.

“Feel free to double-check but it should all be there.”

“Fifteen-hundred dollars?” I balk. “Just like that?” My voice is pitched so high, I can barely hear it.

“Well, yes.” Jason chuckles. “You set the price, if you remember correctly.”

“Oh, I know. I remember. It’s just…” I glance down at the money in my hand, and I blink a few times, trying to clear the haze. “I’ve…” I’ve never held this much money before in my life. But I don’t tell him that because he doesn’t deserve to know that about me.

The only person who does isn’t here, and he can’t know because I’m a piece of shit, and fuck…

I pull in a deep breath and hold it as I count the hundred dollar bills in my hand, all the way to fifteen. Jesus Christ, my heart races. This is more money than I’ve ever seen at once, and it’s mine.

“Thank you,” I tell him as I reach for my bag and shove it in the front pocket, zipping it and hoping like hell the faulty zipper keeps it secure. I need to find a better place to keep it, where I know it won’t disappear on me.

“Don’t thank me, baby boy. You’re the one that did all the work,” Jason drawls lazily, and I wink at him, flushing hotly as I roll back into the bed, curling back into his side. He curls his arm around me and squeezes my ass, making me yelp.

I slap his chest playfully as I snuggle in, closing my eyes and breathing in the stale scent of sweat and sex. Enjoying the tranquility of not having to worry about where I’m falling asleep—and what could be waiting for me once I do.

Maybe this won’t be too bad.

I clench my jaw. I just have to try to keep him out of my mind.

As long as I manage to do that, I should be fine.