Page 67 of Make Me Bleed

“Again?You’re kicking my ass today, Mo.”

“You’re not in it,” she accuses, and I nod my head shamefully as I grab the pile of cards and begin to shuffle them.

“No, sorry. It’s been a rough day.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, Mo. I’m okay,” I tell her as I look up at her gratefully. I know I can’t be one hundred percent truthful with her because she can’t really handle it with her traumatic brain injury, but it’s okay. I don’t need a confidant. I just need her. And I’m lucky to have even found her in the first place.

The guilt I feel not having found her sooner will never subside, but we’re here now, and nothing can be done about it other than what we’re doing. This is the life we have, and we’ve just gotta live it.

And I’ll always do whatever I can to take care of her.

It’s why I’m still seeing clients and why I can’t stop. Mo is on state health insurance, which covers all of her medical bills, but I’m terrified she’s going to get kicked off some day, for some fucking reason because it’s the government, so I do what I do and save up in case I need to provide insurance for her, so she’ll never be without.

Thankfully, nothing has lapsed yet, and I’ve been able to create quite the nest egg, but that doesn’t mean I can just stop.

You never know what could happen.

Living in these homes is expensive, and I need to know she’ll be taken care of.

I can’t leave her again.

“Hey, Abel. Will you come help me with this?” Stella, one of the aids asks, and I nod with a smile.

“Be right back,” I tell Mo as I push away from the table and move to help Stella pick up an extra table and chairs.

“Figured you could use a little Uno break. You look exhausted.”

“Thanks. I am. Just been a shit day.” I start folding the brown chairs and leaning them against the wall.

“You look it,” she tells me bluntly, and I snort.

“Thanks.”

“Sure thing,” she says on a giggle, and I find myself joining in for no other reason than it is kinda funny. I let Peris Baxter get inmyhead. Of all things, and of all people. But I guess if it had to be anyone, it makes sense that it was him.

There’s never been anyone else.

But that doesn’t mean we can just…betogether.

He can’t accept what I do, and I can’t just stop…

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” Stella replies easily, pausing in her movement of the table to lean her hip against it.

“What happens if someone here were to get kicked off their insurance?”

“You mean, like their Medicaid?” she asks, eyes softening in understanding, and I nod.

“Well, you know Jan works really hard to make sure that lapses never happen, especially for those who don’t have any… legal family,” she adds the word in carefully, and I nod. Because I’m not technically anything to Mo, so there’s not anything for me to do for her. It’s all up to the state.

“But it’s happened before, once or twice.” I wince and feel my heart rate kick up a few notches. “But that doesn’t mean we kick patients out right away. Paperwork takes time. Along timeusually,” she emphasizes, and my brows furrow, but I nod, following along. “And then, usually, by that time, it’s been figured out, and there’s nothing to worry about.”

“But what if there is something to worry about?”

“Then, we worry about it then. Not before.”