Page 44 of Make Me Bleed

“Nothing much. It was just trivial bullshit. You know Abel.”

She grins, and my stomach plummets. “That I do. Gosh, it’s been so long. I never thought…”

“I know.” I nod along with her, jaw clenching tightly in agreement. I clear my throat and reach down to grab my bag to end the conversation. I can’t fucking talk about him anymore. I just… I can’t.

“Wanna come inside and have some breakfast? Gabe makes some mean French toast for a rich kid.”

Ma’s laugh is a balm to my bleeding heart, and I smile, watching her eyes crinkle at the corners.

CHAPTER 12

ABEL

You fucking idiot.

What the hell was I thinking?

Feeling sorry for myself apparently, just like I am right now. Which is why I’m going to get dressed, look hot as fuck, and go out to try and forget all about Peris and what he did to my head.

I’m not going to let him fuck me up.

He doesn’t have control over me anymore.

I’m not going to let him anyway…

I drop my head against the shower wall and let the water hammer relentlessly down on my back until my teeth are vibrating in my skull and every coiled muscle has loosened. But of course, with relaxed muscles comes the memories of last night. Of Peris’s hands wrapped around my throat and his cock inside of me again, butbetter.

Becausefuck.He could always fuck me good, but now?

Peris sure as fuck hasn’t spent our time apart being celibate, and it shouldn’t make my heart clenching knowing that, but I can’t control what the useless fucking muscle does, irony or not.

I’ve been fucking for money for years.

I left him to do just that.

I shouldn’t be… no. I’m not jealous. Just… curious. As to who it’s been. Who’s been worthy of his time and his cock because whether he likes to admit it or not, I know him. Someone like Peris doesn’t change that fucking much, and he wouldn’t give that part of himself to just anyone…

Or fuck. Maybe he would, and I’m just losing my mind because I don’t know him anymore.

After all, I only saw flashes of the boy I knew last night. Because who was in front of me was someone else entirely, yet… exactly the same.

“Fuck’s sake,” I grumble, then splutter as I inhale water. I shove my way out of the stream with fingers yanking at my hair. I turn and lean back against the shower wall, hissing as the cool water hits my skin before settling against it completely. The water hitting my front feels nice, and I let my eyes fall closed as I reminisce—just for a few minutes. Before I get out and I’m forced to push it all into the back of my mind and pretend I don’t care.

Because maybe I don’t.

But maybe I do. Just a little.

With an unsteady hand, I reach up and brush my fingers over my bruised throat, pressing slightly on the sides. When the dull, pulsing pain intensifies, I groan slightly and let my head fall back with athunk.

Next, my fingers travel down my collarbones to my chest, over my sensitive nipples, and my pierced belly button that Peris couldn’t stop playing with, to the hair at my groin. I brush my fingers through the hair there, hissing lightly as I scrape my nails down my shaft before wrapping my fingers around myself.

Hand curled loosely around my small girth, I reach back with my other hand and cup my balls for a moment, massaging them before moving on to my taint. I press against the tense skin, and my legs twitch, making me slump against the wall for support.

I then find my hole, still loose and puffy from the abuse it took last night. Not only from Peris but from Harvey after I got back because helovedfucking me all dirty and sloppy and used, and I’ve gotta admit, it was fuckinghot.

But I’m paying for it today.

I’ve beensore.