Page 37 of Make Me Bleed

“No. What’s not fair is you leaving me.”

“Ohhh… kay… I’m gonna leave now,” Gabe blurts loudly and practically runs out of the room, the door clicking shut softly behind him.

Peris’s chest is heaving, and my own is tight, each breath constricted as the weight of his words settles upon us. We stare at one another, the weight of too many truths and even more lies wrapped like vices around us, asphyxiating.

My heartbeat is thunderous in my ears, washing out nearly everything else, but when he speaks, I hear him clear as day.

“What? Nothing to say to me?”

“Fuck you,” I rasp, none of my usual venom lacing my words. Peris laughs haughtily but quietly. Choking.

I hate it.

“Yeah. Fuck me, Abel,” he says softly and turns his back on me. He drags his fingers through his hair and yanks harshly. “Fuck me.”

My phone vibrating on the floor startles me, and my gaze darts down to it. I wonder how many times it’s gone off… howlong it’s even been. It’s pitch black outside now. If we weren’t in the city, I bet I’d be able to see the stars. Maybe they’d even give me a reason, but no.

Not tonight.

“I should probably…”

“Yeah,” Peris laughs, and it’s dry. Humorless and hopeless. “You probably should.”

I swallow heavily as I walk toward my phone like it’s a bomb that could go off at any moment.Tick, tick, tick.

It’s two A.M., and there are only three missed calls from Harvey, but that’s more than enough to tell me I’ve fucked up. I probably just lost myself one of my best clients…

I swallow heavily as I stare at my screen before locking it and pressing it against my chest. Scrunching my eyes shut for a moment, I replay the night. Seeing Peris again, his hands on my body,touching meagain, after all these years…

Yeah,I decide with a finality that won’t be swayed.

It was worth it—even if I never see him again.

He’ll always be worth every fuck up I make.

When I glance up through my lashes at him and catch the shadows in his eyes, I nearly break. Fuck, I hate him.

I don’t know what possesses me, but I walk to the little table beside the bed, where there’s a notepad, and I scribble my number on it and shove it away with an irritated huff, frustrated I just did what I did—and it’s not even the number I use for clients. It’s my real phone number.You fucking idiot.

With that, I make my way toward the door without looking back. I can’t look at him because if I do, if I see the regret in his eyes, I’ll wanna kill myself, and I can’t feel like that… not tonight…

“Abel.”

I stop in my tracks, my name on his tongue the best thing I’ve heard in years. I cock my head to the side to let him know I’mlistening, but I keep my lips firmly sealed, lest I say something stupid.

“You should’ve stayed gone.”

His words pierce through the thick muscle of my heart, and I inhale sharply through my nose, eyes stinging instantly. I keep my eyes wide as I stare straight ahead at my escape, just mere feet away, but the heat of his body, so close behind me, keeps me in place.

Choking on the truth, I rasp, “I’ve always been here, you know. You just couldn’t see me.” And with that, I step out into the hallway to make my way to Harvey’s room, each step weighed down by a new kind of pain I can’t name.

“Where on Earthhave you been? I was worried—Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” I blurt, face heating with shame. I know I look a mess. You can tell what I’ve been doing. What’s been donetome just by looking at me.

“You got fucked,” Harvey says bluntly as I let the door close softly behind me. I flush from head to toe as I stand before him. I shift back and forth on my feet but stop almost immediately because I can feel the dried cum between my ass cheeks and well…

“Yes,” I tell him because what’s the point in lying now?