Page 121 of Make-Believe Match

My father’s words stuck with me as I drove to the airport. As I parked the car and went through security. As I sat at the gate waiting for my zone to be called.

My leg jittered nervously, bouncing up and down, even though I hadn’t even had coffee this morning. My fingers rubbed my scruffy jaw—I hadn’t shaved since Wednesday.

Hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.

What the fuck was I looking for? What did I want to do with my life? When I thought about what mattered most to me, was it my job? My bank account? My address?

I realized that over the last several years, what had brought the most meaning to my life was the kids at Camp Lemonade. Being a substitute dad or big brother for them. Doing all the things my dad and older brothers had done for me. I loved doing those things. I enjoyed them. They made me feel good and alive. The first thing I would do if I moved to California was find the equivalent of Camp Lemonade out there.

Because I liked being needed. Taking care of people. Making them happy. It was like being part of a family.

It’s what family does—they stay with you.

So why was I running away from the person Imostwanted to take care of? Was I going to let fear get in my way? Let my rational brain convince me that what I felt was just infatuation and it wouldn’t last?

Or was I going to trust my gut—that voice in my head, that yearning in my heart—telling me that what I felt was love, what I wanted was a chance at forever, what I needed was to go home to my wife.

And stay.

I picked up my bag and ran.

* * *

Two hours later, I burst through the back door of my dad’s house and announced, “I need help.”

Xander and Kelly were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. “With what?” my brother asked.

“Getting my wife back. Where’s Dad?”

“He went to have breakfast with Larry and Gus,” said Xander.

Kelly’s face lit up, and she clapped her hands. “Let us help you! What can we do?”

“I don’t know,” I said.

“You think she won’t take you back if you just ask?” Xander tipped his chair back on two legs.

“I want to do more than just ask,” I said. “I want to show her that she’s the love of my life. I want her to know that I understand her and want to be with her, and our family is the most important thing in the world to me.”

Kelly fanned her face with both hands. “I’m going to cry. This is so sweet.”

“So how do I do it?”

Xander scratched his head. “Well, I’d say you could propose, but you jumped the gun a little bit there.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t good. It wasn’t what she deserved.” I thought for a moment. “I could do it again.”

“Maybe get her a ring this time?” Kelly suggested. “A diamond?”

I shook my head. “She wouldn’t want a diamond, but you know what? I bet she’d love an emerald. Green is her favorite color.”

“Perfect,” said Kelly. “Once you have the ring, where could you propose that’s meaningful?”

The three of us were quiet for a moment. Then Xander started to laugh. “What?” I asked.

“If you really wanted to prove your love, you’d ride the chairlift and do it at the top of the mountain,” he said.

I groaned, because he was right.