Page 66 of Madness Becomes Her

I always thought Finlo and I’s meeting was some move of fate, some grand thing that we were both destined for. We’re in Wonderland, after all, so the idea can’t be that far-fetched.

“But how?”

“I saw you once. I was in the human realm, getting some trinket of Lewis’s fixed for him. We move throughout the realms undetected, with a simple glamour.”

My heart is racing, and I swear I can hear a bit of it shattering. Could it be the illusion I’ve let myself believe clamouring to the ground?

“You were in a shop with your father. You’d told him you were hungry and asked him for some food. The interaction was strange, I thought. I followed him to where he dragged you outside and down an alley, scolding you the entire way. The things he said…”

Yes, my father had a vile way of never hitting you, but still landing a blow with his words.

“I felt your anguish as if it were my own, hearing bits of the Red Queen in him as he spoke to you. Something in me urged me to intervene, even though I’m not supposed to.”

“What did you do?”

“I followed you home. Watched from afar. When I was sure the event in the shop wasn’t the only thing you were enduring, I couldn’t help myself. I snuck into your room and marked you.”

Finlo grabs the sheet, tugging it down enough to where my birthmark, which looks like a teacup on my left shoulder, runs his thumb over it.

Gasping, I realize it’s not a birthmark at all. “What triggers it to work?”

“Your sadness. I ensured you had one every time you needed an escape. Over the years, your disappearing only angered him more, though. But then, Wonderland became increasingly dangerous as the Red Queen rose to power. It wasn’t safe for you here.”

“I had to be sad in the times after I left here. Why didn’t the mark bring me back?”

“I altered the magic when I sent you back. It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, you have to know that.”

“So how did I get here?”

“If you were to find yourself with nowhere to go and I was your only option, a portal would open for you.”

I clutch the sheet. I don’t know how I feel.

I went from pure bliss to confusion in minutes.

He’s why I’m here, but I also had nowhere to go… Hatter’s been my safe place all these years, but because hechoseto be. I never had a choice.

He knew all along and never told me…

“This is a lot.”

“I know. I couldn’t allow you to go further without knowing.”

Even when he kept me away, barring me from Wonderland, he did it for my own good, but knowing that he stepped in the way of my destiny all those years ago means he held all the cards while I was blinded to the game, and I don’t know how that makes me feel.

I hate that he’s chosen now to tell me, even if I appreciate that he’s telling me.

Had it remained a secret, I don’t think I could stomach finding out later.

“Don’t hate me, Tiger Lily.” He sits up, cupping my cheek as his green eyes bleed with emotion. “I’m sorry I kept it from you,but when I saw him grab you, heard the hateful things he said to you, how he threatened you, something deep in my soul caused me to act. I still don’t know what it was or why I was moved to do what I did. I only knew I had to.”

“I don’t think I could ever hate you, Finlo. This is just a lot to digest, especially after we…” My eyes flick down to the mattress, the evidence of our lovemaking surrounding us in the form of pillows and blankets askew.

“I know. I’m so sorry.”

A pang flickers in my chest when he leans forward slowly, approaching me with hesitation as he places a kiss on my forehead.

After showering alone, taking time to mull over the new revelation Finlo dropped on me after mind-blowing sex, I dry off and slip into a silk nightgown I brought from the shopping trip to Erotsy.