Page 4 of Madness Becomes Her

It takes a moment before I realize I’m speaking to a fucking rabbit. The rabbit is in an overcoat with no pants on.

Do rabbits need pants?

Shit, now I sound insane.

“Sir, how could I be on time for something I wasn’t invited to?”

“Pish posh. Of course you were invited, Eleanor. Now, come, follow me. We don’t have time for idle chat.”

My feet move one in front of the other, and I follow behind him before I know what the hell I’m doing.

“Sir! Wait up!” I shout as we enter thick, ominous-looking woods, and I lose track of him before me.

“Keep up! Keep up!” I hear, but I slow as eyes track me from all around. “Hatter won’t be kind if you’re not on time!”

The interior of the wood is confusing, almost as if its design was meant to befuddle the mind. Signs on the trees read directions that directly conflict with one another. One says to go this way, the other says to go that. Roundabouts in the path remind me of home, but I don’t know how to get through them without clear directions.

“Sir,” I whimper, wrapping my arms around myself as I keep to the path, hoping it’ll lead me back to him.

Glowing eyes from every branch watch my ascent through the woods.

Just when the first trickle of fear slides down my throat, the rabbit comes from nowhere and grabs my wrist. “We mustn’t dally in the Cheshire Wood; the trees like flesh.”

Tugging me along, my world speeds up as I struggle to keep up with the massive rabbit.

All the while, he’s muttering to himself. “We’re late. Fuddlywack, we’re late. I haven’t been late in fifty-two Fridays! He’s going to box my ears. He’s going to cut off my foot.”

“He’ll do no such thing,” I reply, shocking the rabbit. I don’t know whoheis, but I won’t allow someone to harm him when I caused his tardiness.

“You’re new here. You don’t know him yet.”

“But I will. And I won’t let him box your ears or cut off your foot.”

“You’re a true friend, Eleanor,” the rabbit replies as we finally step out of the wood and into the warmth of sunshine.

Sunshine?

We’re miles below the Earth. How in the world could there be…

Hands slam down on a table, and cups go flying. Creatures around the table are shaking, some anxiously chewing their nails as a surly man stands at the table’s head. “You are late, Lewis!”

“I know. I am so very sorry. I’m always on time. Always on time, you know that. It was only that Eleanor had a fright, and the trees were hungry…”

“Shut up!” the man shouts, covering his ears. “You know I hate chatter. Can’t handle chatter. Have enough of my own!”

“Yes, sir. Of course.”

I clear my throat, standing my ground as I let go of Lewis’s hand. “Excuse me, sir. It was my fault. I was afraid and…”

He lifts his hand, his neck craning as if to clear it of tension. “It’s no matter now. You’re here. You are right on time.”

“I am?” I squeak.

Lewis heaves a breath beside me. “Oh, thank heaven. We’re on time!”

A jovial roar of hooray goes around the table as my confusion deepens.

The man pulls out a chair beside him, his smirk off-putting and strange on his painted face. “Sit. Sit. It’s time for tea!”