Page 7 of Mad for Madison (The Boys of Hudson Burrow #4)

CHAPTER 6

Not Normal Enough

Madison

Was it a date? It felt like a date. It felt like the first date ever, the kind that planted a buzzing sensation deep within my chest that wouldn’t leave me until the scary part was over. And just like the first of all the dates, I couldn’t tell you what the scary part was.

Would I be at ease once I arrived there? Or would I yap nervously for an hour before the anxiety lifted?

I didn’t know anything. I only knew that I had dropped Bradley off at his grandmother’s place with a promise to see each other this afternoon. And when he was out, my fingers turned restless. Even my damn ears rang by the time I got out of the limo two streets away from the Peeling Palace.

Our apartment was quiet when I got there. I could guess my roommates’ whereabouts. Tristan was at Neon Nights, working, while Cedric was there to be near him. Mama Viv was more than happy to entertain His Highness in the bar, giving Cedric odd tasks to cure his idleness. Cedric, to be fair, gladly ran errands for Mama Viv, having been sheltered by Mama Viv when his family tried to find him and bring him home for a marriage of convenience.

Roman and Everett were probably there, too, unless they were upstairs in Everett’s little room in Mama Viv’s apartment. But it was the door slamming in our apartment that reminded me of Lane and Oakley. The two shared the biggest room in the Peeling Palace, although it was anyone’s guess how long that would work for. It was a wonder neither had moved out by now, but I suspected that they would see moving out as the other one’s win, so they stayed despite hating each other. Whatever their rivalry was, it was none of anyone’s business. It hadn’t been present when they’d met at the first viewing, but they soon drew the lines of demarcation in the room, and so the cold war had begun.

I walked out of my room, where I had been pacing restlessly, and found Lane pouring himself a glass of water.

“Everything alright?” I asked.

Lane snorted. “Couldn’t be better.” He was a tall guy with broad shoulders and timeless, masculine beauty, completely opposite from his willowy roommate. I almost said something that wouldn’t be welcome in this situation and bit my tongue to keep myself silent. Lane turned around and glanced at me. “Look at you, all fancy like that.”

I waved my hand dismissively. “There was a thing. I had to be there.”

“Looks good on you,” Lane said.

My clothes were creased from spending a night on the floor while I snuggled against Bradley, but I didn’t point that out.

“There’s something else about you,” Lane said, examining me with his head cocked to one side.

I frowned a little. Was he starting to recognize me from some thumbnail? I hadn’t realized Lane bent that way. I’d always assumed he was straight.

“You look happy,” Lane said, only a hint of suspicion in his voice.

I laughed softly, brushing off his comment with a shake of my head. “Do I?”

Lane raised an eyebrow, leaning against the counter with his glass of water in hand. “Yeah, you do. It’s weird. You’re usually either stressed or…you know, ‘too cool to care.’” He smirked. “What happened? Did you win the lottery or something?”

I shrugged, feigning indifference. “Something like that.”

Lane didn’t buy it, though. He sipped his water, his gaze sharp and curious. “Whatever it is, you should keep doing it. You’re less of an asshole when you’re happy.”

I chuckled and turned to leave the kitchen, unwilling to entertain Lane’s probing any longer. “Thanks for the insight, Dr. Phil.”

“Anytime,” he called after me, the smirk evident in his voice.

Back in my room, the energy bubbling inside me refused to settle. Lane’s comment replayed in my head. Happy. Was I happy? It was such a foreign concept that I didn’t know how to process it.

I picked up my phone and opened Bradley’s text thread. No new messages since this morning, but I scrolled up, rereading his words from last night. His warmth and sincerity practically radiated from the screen. I closed my eyes, leaning back against the wall, and exhaled.

It scared me how easily he got under my skin. I wanted to be near him, but the fear of screwing it up—of being too much, or not enough, of pretending to be someone else, or worse, being myself—always lurked at the edges.

A knock on my door jolted me out of my thoughts. I opened it to find Oakley standing there, holding a steaming mug of coffee. “You look like you need this,” he said, shoving it into my hands without waiting for a reply.

“Thanks,” I muttered, caught off guard.

Oakley shrugged. “Don’t mention it. And stop pacing. You’re making the rest of us nervous.”

I closed the door with a small smile, the mug warm in my hands. The strangest things happened around here.

The coffee warmed me, but my nerves were a different story. I slipped into my winter jacket and scarf, checking the mirror by the door. My reflection stared back, seemingly confident in its polished exterior, but I knew better. Inside, I was a tangled mess of emotions—anticipation, hope, and that ever-present undercurrent of fear.

Bradley and Lily. Two people who embodied something I’d convinced myself was beyond my reach: normalcy. A sweet, uncomplicated connection. Family dinners. Laughter over spilled drinks. Unconditional acceptance.

Could I fit into that world?

I wanted to. Desperately.

Yet, the gnawing thoughts wouldn’t leave me alone. My life wasn’t built for normal. It was a carousel of bright lights and shadows, where appearances mattered more than the truth, and every choice was subject to scrutiny. Bradley thought it didn’t matter. But he would change his mind eventually. They all did. What would he think then? Would he still look at me with those soft eyes full of quiet admiration?

I shook my head, trying to silence the doubt. This was supposed to be simple—an afternoon outing, not a life-altering decision. But every step I took toward the door felt monumental, as if I was crossing a line I couldn’t retreat from.

Pausing, I pulled out my phone again, scrolling through Bradley’s messages for the millionth time. There was a lightness in the way he texted, like he didn’t carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. Unlike me.

I closed my eyes, gripping the phone tightly. Maybe I didn’t have to carry that weight alone.

But what if I dragged him down with me?

Stop it , I told myself. Bradley wasn’t asking for a declaration or a lifelong promise. He was asking me to spend time with him and his daughter. That was it.

The cold air bit at my cheeks as I stepped outside, snow crunching underfoot. I adjusted my scarf and tucked my hands into my pockets, trying to focus on the simple joy of the moment.

You’re not damaged goods , I repeated silently, like a mantra. Maybe if I said it enough, I’d believe it.

Maybe if I said it enough, I’d finally allow myself to be happy.

I took the subway to the park and got out in a flurry of Sunday activity. Families were everywhere around me. Young couples, singles, elderly couples, kids, and grandkids, it was like visiting a fair.

My phone buzzed, and my heart skipped a beat. I pulled it out of my pocket to see if Bradley had arrived with Lily. Instead, my screen displayed a text message from Dane. It was just a link, and all the hope that had been in my heart a moment ago faded.

Nico Hart debuts a new look and a brand-new boy toy! (See Photos)

The headline from the New York Observer , a yellow-page, crap-pushing tabloid, wasn’t so terrible. Bradley and I had expected something along these lines. But Dane was still meddling, and I had no more patience for him.

Before I knew what I was doing, the phone was pressed against my ear, and I was waiting for Dane to pick up.

“Hello, love,” he said cheerfully.

“I thought you’d be in jail, sobering up,” I snapped.

He snorted. “Nobody called the cops.”

“They should have,” I said.

“I’m sure they thought about it,” Dane replied, his voice tinged with amusement. “But you know how it is. I’m charming when I want to be.”

“Charming? Is that what you call it?” I paced along the park’s edge, keeping my tone low despite the fire bubbling in my chest. “You’re unbelievable.”

“You’re upset. I can tell.” Dane’s words were slow and deliberate, like he was savoring my reaction. “Is it the article? You’re welcome, by the way. That was me keeping things clean. You should see the pictures they didn’t use.”

“Stop meddling in my life, Dane.” My grip on the phone tightened. “Bradley doesn’t deserve to be dragged into your games.”

“Bradley, Bradley, Bradley,” he singsonged. “I’m starting to think this guy’s more than just a convenient lay. What’s the matter, Nico? Falling for the daddy next door?”

“It’s Madison . And don’t say his name like that,” I growled, the name Nico Hart coiling in my stomach like a venomous snake. “You don’t get to comment on him or his life. Or mine, for that matter. And why the fuck are you digging info about Bradley?”

“Touchy.” Dane clicked his tongue, the sound grating through the receiver. “You know, I’ve always admired your ability to play the victim so convincingly. But we both know how this story ends, don’t we? You’ll get bored, or he’ll get scared. It’s what you do, darling.”

His words hit too close to home, and I hated how much they stung. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to stay calm. “Whatever you’re trying to accomplish, it’s not going to work. I’m done playing your games.”

“Sure you are.” Dane’s tone was dismissive. “But before you hang up, think about this: What happens when his little girl googles her daddy’s friend and stumbles across all those videos? Do you think he’s prepared for that? Are you?”

I ended the call without another word, shoving the phone back into my pocket. My pulse raced, not from anger but from something deeper, something more painful. Dane’s words echoed in my mind, each one cutting like glass.

What happens when Lily googles you?

The thought churned in my stomach as I walked toward the playground where Bradley and Lily were supposed to meet me. The sight of kids running around, laughing and playing, only made the ache worse. What kind of influence could I possibly be in a life like that?

Bradley wanted me to meet his daughter. That was a big deal. A step forward. But was it the right step? Or was I about to drag them into something they didn’t deserve?

The snow under my boots turned to slush as I slowed my pace. Maybe I wasn’t damaged goods, but I sure as hell wasn’t the picture of stability either.

I stopped at the edge of the park, heart pounding, and stared at my reflection in a frozen puddle. The polished exterior Lane had commented on earlier was still there, but underneath, I was cracking.

Bradley and Lily deserved someone good, someone unblemished by past mistakes and bad decisions.

Maybe meeting her wasn’t a step forward at all. Maybe it was the first step toward ruining everything.

A fake name only got you so far. I had no doubt that anyone who wanted to find out more about me could easily discover the truth. And I didn’t care. I didn’t care what people thought of me. As if I hadn’t been called every nasty thing in the book long before I’d ever made my first video. I was used to getting punched. Words hardly bothered me at all.

And Bradley thought he didn’t mind it. He thought it didn’t matter. How could I drag him into this and let him face the judgment and the embarrassment that would inevitably come out of it?

But then I saw them.

A man with dark curls and a calm, unbothered expression pushed a stroller through the snow. Beside him, a woman laughed, her scarf whipping in the winter wind as she tried to keep up with the toddler wobbling ahead. The little boy tripped, falling into the slush, but instead of tears, there was only laughter. The woman scooped him up, kissed his rosy cheek, and set him back on his feet. The man crouched down, brushing snow off the boy’s coat with a gentleness that made my throat tighten.

It was a scene I’d seen a hundred times before in real life, on TV, in books. It was everything I used to tell myself I didn’t want because wanting it meant admitting I couldn’t have it.

But here’s the thing about lies: sometimes, you forget to stop believing them.

My phone buzzed in my pocket again. I pulled it out, and there it was—a simple message from Bradley.

Bradley: Lily’s been asking about you all morning. We can’t wait to see you. You coming?

I stared at the screen, the edges of my vision blurring. Another message followed.

Bradley: I got the tickets already. Just let me know when you’re close.

Those words undid me. They were so unassuming, so ordinary, and yet they carried a weight that pressed against my chest. He wanted me there. Not Nico Hart, not the polished, fake version of me. Madison. Me. The real me—the one who was still figuring out how to exist in a world that hadn’t been kind.

I looked up again at the family in the park. They had moved on, but their laughter lingered in the air like a ghost. I could still see the way the man looked at his son, the way the woman’s eyes crinkled with unrestrained joy.

And I thought about Bradley. About the way his voice softened when he talked about Lily. He didn’t just love her—he adored her.

That kind of love didn’t scare me anymore. What scared me was the thought of missing it.

I didn’t want to live in a world where I didn’t get to see Bradley’s quiet smiles. I didn’t want to stay on the outside, pretending that what we had wasn’t real just because I was too much of a coward to try.

I typed out a reply.

Me: I’m on my way. Meet inside? Can’t wait to see you too.

This time, I didn’t overthink it. I hit Send before I could talk myself out of it.

Dane’s words still lingered in the back of my mind, but they didn’t matter. Not now. Not when I could picture Bradley’s grin when he saw me.

I started walking again, my steps faster this time, more determined.

Whatever came next, I’d face it. For them. For us. For a chance that there might be us .

I crossed the street to the museum and bought myself a ticket, then passed through and held my breath.

Bradley thought he was plain and unremarkable, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. Time after time, I had passed by Neon Nights and cast my gaze his way in hopes of catching his attention. Like a dog chasing a car, I had simply done it without thinking what would come after. And now, in the crowd of small in the museum, Bradley was unmistakable. His shaggy light brown hair, the cowlick he couldn’t fight, the broad shoulders that begged to have my hands resting there, and the adorable little girl holding his hand, dragging him to move faster.

Bradley looked back over his shoulder, skipping a step to catch up with Lily, and his gaze locked onto my eyes. The smile that broke over his face was so honest and warm that my heart thundered in my chest.

I forgot all that had been holding me back. I forgot all about Dane, all about the work I did and the work I was still under contract to do, and I exhaled. My breath was shaky, my fingers trembling, and my eyes stung from the sudden warmth of stepping inside. I realized I was biting my lip hard, but Bradley waved, and I nodded, and the world blurred for a moment before I moved again and picked up my pace.

Bradley took Lily to the side, letting the people flow past them, and pushed himself to the tips of his toes before returning down. He packed up whatever nervousness had been there and tucked it away. He let go of it for the sake of his daughter, and I let go of mine.

As I approached them, Lily looked up. Her eyes were large and blue, her hair bright blond, and her dimples almost exactly like Bradley’s.

“Hello,” I said softly. “You must be Lily.”

The little girl gave a decisive nod.

“Lily, this is Madison,” Bradley said. “He’s Daddy’s friend.”

“Hullo,” Lily said. “Do you want to see the dinosaurs?”

I crouched down to her level, a grin tugging at my lips despite the tight knot of nerves in my chest. “The dinosaurs? I’d love to see the dinosaurs. Do you have a favorite one?”

Lily’s face lit up as she clasped her hands together, bouncing on her toes. “The T-Rex! It’s really big, and it has sharp teeth!”

I gasped, widening my eyes in mock alarm. “Sharp teeth? That sounds scary! Are you sure it’s safe to go see it?”

She giggled, shaking her head. “It’s not real! It can’t eat us!”

“Well, that’s a relief,” I said, laughing softly. “You’ll have to protect me, though, just in case.”

Lily’s giggles turned into a proud little nod. “I can do that! I’m very brave.”

“Braver than me, that’s for sure.” I glanced up at Bradley, who was watching us with a tender smile that made my heart ache in the best way.

“You’re in good hands,” Bradley said, his voice warm. “Lily’s an expert on dinosaurs. She’ll show you all the best ones.” He looked at me with something like gratitude, and it made me want to sob when I imagined Bradley being thankful for my presence when the reality was the complete opposite. I owed him everything for giving me this chance to be normal.

Lily grabbed my hand, her small fingers curling around mine with surprising confidence. “C’mon! The T-Rex is this way!”

As she tugged me forward, I looked back at Bradley, who fell into step beside us. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I belonged somewhere. Like I was part of something real.

“Lead the way, Lily,” I said, my voice soft with gratitude. “I’m ready.”