Page 21

Tenzin

“T hank you for sending the cradle,” I thanked Cooter as we video-chatted. He didn’t have a game tonight. I’d had an entire day off, which I’d spent with Gwen and Clark. We’d gone apple picking, though there weren’t many apples left. Still, there’d been music, hot cider, barbeque, and those little donuts she liked.

And those tiny cows, of course. Who now wore sweaters instead of tank-tops.

“Aw, shucks, it’s Pe-Paw who made it, not me. I forgot to tell him to stop when you and Morgan broke up.” Cooter’s look went bashful. “Glad Morgan liked it. Can’t be too sure about Morgan and homemade gifts.”

“True.” I’d seen photos of the beautiful wooden cradle Cooter’s Pe-Paw had made, carved, and stained.

Cooter shook his head. “You’re going to be a pa. How are things going? Is dealing with Morgan awful?”

“Mostly I deal with Jacen. When I talk to her, she’s fine, though she’s stressed with how bed-rest is affecting medical school. I still feel like a bad dad for wanting to stay here in New York, and not quitting hockey and moving back to Portland,” I said as I laid on the bed.

Cooter blinked. He was in a hotel room in Mexico, his team on the road. “Is that something you want to do?”

“Fuck no. She’s not asking for that either. Maybe at some point I’ll try to get to a closer team, but even my agent said that’s not workable right now if I don’t want to blow everything up. Still…” Guilt ate at me.

“It’s not like you’re leaving Morgan struggling. You’re not abandoning your son, and you’re doing your part,” Cooter assured.

I’d updated my will. I’d set up a trust. We’d already talked about visits during the off-season. I’d offered to pay for whatever they needed, that might make life with three infants easier–diaper service, a night nurse, meal delivery, extra housecleaning days. All she’d wanted was diaper service and a visit to a postpartum mom-and-baby spa.

“Thanks for letting me stay with you when I come to visit,” I added. I was excited to see my son.

“Anytime. You can stay even if I’m not there,” he replied. “How are Clark and Babybug? All healed?”

“Clark’s cast is off. Gwen’s fine.” Mostly. The whole you could be an omega still announcement from the Center doctors had thrown her more than she wanted to admit.

His eyebrows rose. “Mmm hmmm.”

Okay, she was having a lot of nightmares and they sometimes spent nights here. Occasionally, I’d fall asleep alone, only to wake up to one or both of them in my bed. Sometimes I fell asleep there.

I heard the click of my front door, and a moment later, Gwen jumped on my bed. “Hi.”

“Babybug!” Cooter drawled.

“Hi, Cooter.” She grinned. “Tens, can I do my homework here? Clark’s playing video games with his siblings and being loud. I can’t concentrate, even in my room.”

“Of course. I won’t disturb you if I’m on the phone?” I kissed her temple.

She liked to do homework in my kitchen when Clark was gaming or had friends over. I didn’t mind, it felt homey.

“Not at all. I will raid your tea, though.” She talked to Cooter for a moment, then bounced off, closing my bedroom door behind her.

“How else are things going? How’s house hunting?” Cooter asked.

“Expensive.” I sighed. “But I think things between the three of us are good. I care for them so much.”

“I’m jealous. They’re good for you.” His look went wistful.

“I wish you were closer, especially if Gwen ever brings home an omega in a bucket.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Cooter was my best friend. I missed him and I’d absolutely form a pack with him.

Cooter snorted. “I’m surprised Snowball is a cat and not a panther.”

“Only because she came from Clark’s parent’s farm.” I grinned. We caught up some more, then Morgan’s incoming call came up. I’d unblocked her, all things considered.

“I have to go, Morgan’s calling. Good luck tomorrow,” I told him, hoping her call didn’t mean anything was wrong.

“You, too. Hope you survive her call.” He ended the call.

I accepted Morgan’s video call. Her face was screwed up with fury. “What do you mean, you’re not coming when the babies are born?”

“Um, you said you didn’t want me there. You’ll have your three packmates, your doula, your sister, and your mother.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to see the babies born and was more than willing to respect that boundary.

“I don’t want you in the room for the birth, which is different.” She scowled.

“Oh.” They were? Okay then. I wanted to see him as soon as I could.

“Ugh. Here I am trying to co-parent, and you can’t even leave your precious hockey team to see your son after he’s born.” Morgan’s face was flushed with anger.

Oh. If she was railing at my precious hockey, then something else was wrong. But we might as well address some logistics.

“I checked with HR to see how many games I get off for parental leave. It’s not many, but at least I get some. I was going to stack a couple with the days we have off for the holidays, so I could stay in Portland through the New Year. If it’s important to you that I come out to see the babies as soon as they’re born, even though I’m already coming then, I’ll work it out with Coach,” I told her. Teams were usually pretty lenient about things like that.

“Oh, you’re missing games and staying through the New Year?” Her brows furrowed.

“If they’re born by then, yes, I’d like to. I also made up a list of potential dates for visits using the rest of my time–if you even want me to visit during the season.” They’d be fast visits, but better than nothing.

Her look softened. “I’d like that. It’s nice that you’re willing to miss some games to see Squiggles.”

“I want to see him. It’s just that I don’t want to be a bother–or interrupt your family. I’m not sure what use I’d be to you. While I’ll gladly change diapers, and I’m fair at cleaning, you know my cooking skills.” Not to mention establishing boundaries, for both of us, was important.

She laughed. “I do. I got the cradle from Cooter and the beautiful bedding for it from your sister. I’m not sure how safe a wood cradle is. Imogen’s threatening to steal it from me if I won’t use it.”

“Is there anything you need from me? Are you sure you don’t want a night nurse? You might change your mind when you have three of them in the house,” I told her.

Morgan rubbed her temples. “I don’t need your money.”

“I know there’s more to being a parent than money. But I’m at a loss how else to help, since I don’t live near enough to take night shifts. I should have offered to fly out to help make the nursery, but I didn’t think about it in time. But would that be overstepping? I don’t want to overstep, but I don’t want to understep. The last thing I want is for him to feel neglected because I live in New York and have a demanding schedule. I’m just trying to figure it all out. I don’t know how to do this.” It came out panicked as I finally vocalized to her how I was feeling.

“Breathe, Tenzie.” She mimed taking a deep breath and letting it out. “First, you’re not allowed to paint or assemble furniture. You know that.”

I did, too, as I remembered trying to paint and put a desk together, to surprise her with her own study space when she moved in.

“Is it bad I’m glad you're anxious? It makes you feel more human. Sometimes you’re this stoic, untouchable, grumpy hockey god and it’s nice to see you worried about furniture assembly and being a dad. I’m worried about how to be a good mom and a doctor. I should have just waited,” she admitted.

“You can still get a great residency and become a doctor,” I told her.

“True. Though the one I really want was a bit snide about why I just didn’t take the year off and re-do it, given all my medical complications.” Her eyes rolled.

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.” Because she’d been working toward that for years and done a lot of extra things in order to get noticed by that specific residency program.

Her shoulders fell. “Me, too. Things at the hospital Ilya’s affiliated with went well and I worked there all summer, so they know me. That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”

“Not at all. I believe in you. You’ll get it sorted,” I told her.

“We will. We’ll get a nanny at some point. Ilya is taking his full parental leave from the hospital. Which is good, because I’m going to have to go back to clinicals in-person as soon as I’m cleared postpartum.” She looked anxious. While the program would let her wait, it would also put her back considerably, which she didn’t want.

“You have your pack, it’ll be fine,” I assured. After all, that’s what packs were for.

“Thanks.” Her look softened. “You’ll be a good dad, Tenzie. I appreciate that you’re putting in the work and trying to figure things out. We didn’t tell you because we wanted you to leave your team or move back. Honestly, we can make this work with you being across the country. Plenty of parents do. Though, if in a few years you end up closer, we won’t complain. But then again, maybe one of us will get a job closer to you. It’ll be fine.”

I raked my hair with my hand. “I hope so.”

“We’ll make him understand. Jacen likes hockey, so I’m sure they’ll watch your games,” she told me. “You’ll come see him during the off-season. By then, I will be ready for some baby-free afternoons and nights out.”

“Absolutely. We’re playing the Sasquatches in January. Baby’s first hockey game? I can get you tickets.” Oh, I’d love that so much.

She nodded. “Depending on the dates, we could make it work. When I rail about not needing your money, it's more because part of me wishes you lived across the street and could take the night shift. But I also know that even if you lived across the street, you’d be gone just as much. Your job is as important to you as mine is to me, and I respect that. We just miss you. Also, we're fine, we don’t need your financial support and that’s not why we told you about Squiggles.”

“I know. But one day Squiggles might want to get a third PhD or buy a house or start a business and he’ll be glad I put money away for him,” I replied.

“Third PhD? You know he’s going to be smart, right? Even though you majored in film, you’re still almost as smart as me.” Morgan grinned.

“He will be.” And athletic. While Morgan wasn’t into team sports, she enjoyed hiking, dancing, and other physical activities.

“What do you think of Alistair as a first name? Alistair Zichen Dragomir,” she told me. “I think we’re going with Aden Harper for Bean and I really want matchy-names for the twins. Imogen wants a flower name for Pickles–right now we’ve got Iris and Poppy as the main contenders.”

Morgan was changing names again? She’d let me pick his middle name, and I’d named him after my grandfather the doctor, like we’d talked about. They’d all taken Ilya’s last name and wanted to give it to the babies. Since Squiggles was living with them, it made sense.

Who knew what last name I’d end up with? Often packs chose a last name–or pack name–together. We’d end up as the Bucket Pack, wouldn’t we?

“Whatever you like, Morgan,” I told her. Not sold on Alistair.

Her look went hard. “That’s not an answer, Tenzie.”

“Alistair and Aden sound nice together.”

Morgan rolled her eyes. “I also like Aaron, Alexander, and Asher.”

“Oh, that last one is nice. Yes, Aden and Asher.” I did like that one. “But the best way to decide is to stand in the kitchen and yell their names. At least according to my sister.”

She started laughing. “I love that. Asher Zichen Dragomir, get your butt in here right now!”

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah, everyone else in the pack likes Asher best, too,” she agreed.

The door opened, and Gwen did a flip onto the bed, then put her head on my shoulder. A startled look crossed her face. “I’m so sorry, Tens, I thought you were still talking to Cooter.”

“Um, hi.” Morgan blinked.

Oh. Well, considering Gwen would have contact with Squiggles, it might not be a bad thing for them to meet.

“Gwen, this is Morgan. Morgan, this is Gwen.” I looked at Gwen. “How’s homework going?”

“Hi. It’s fine. I didn’t expect my systems class to be so hard, though. Not as hard as med school.” She grinned at Morgan. “Harder than my fraud class, though.”

“Do you live together?” Morgan frowned.

She shook her head. “I live across the hall. Clark’s super noisy tonight and this project is difficult, so I needed quiet. Oh, are you vegan? Does anyone have food allergies or is lactose intolerant?”

“Um, no, we’re not vegan. We’re not exclusively vegetarian, but we don’t eat a lot of meat. Imogen doesn’t eat beef; Jacen is allergic to crustaceans. Ilya is lactose intolerant, but he just ignores it.” Morgan cocked her head. “Are you making me dinner?”

“Yes. I was going to make a lasagna and freeze it, so when Tens flies out he can just put it in his suitcase. They make great easy dinners.” She beamed. Then her head ducked. “Is that weird? I always forget about regional differences. My nonna always made lasagnas for new moms. She knew a lot, because she taught classes at the Omega Center. But my mom never made anyone lasagna when they had a baby. She’d send meals made by our cook or just send him over. I don’t mean to be weird.” Gwen made herself small against me.

“No. It’s not weird. My mom always makes chicken casserole. I like carbs. But if your mom wants to send me her chef…” Morgan grinned.

My arm tightened around Gwen, but she just laughed.

“If she was still here, I’m sure she would. Vancouver’s not far from Portland on the ultra-bullet. Don’t worry, I’m first aid and CPR certified and am good with babies. Anyhow I’ll let you go.” With a wave, she scampered out.

“I wish I had that energy. Your student girlfriend.” Morgan shook her head.

“Morgan, she’s graduating this spring.” I rolled my eyes.

“I know. But it’s fun to tease you. I hope she cooks better than you.” She laughed.

“Everyone loves her lasagna, as long as they like cheese,” I replied. “She and Clark are very supportive of Squiggles. Gwen’s from a large family and works a lot with kids.”

Morgan laughed again. “Of course you end up with someone who cooks with lots of cheese. It’s nice that they’re supportive. What does Cooter think of her?”

“Gwen’s a goalie. She and Cooter were sending videos to each other of dancing fish all day, and I don’t know why.” I shrugged. “Clark grew up on a farm. I’m pretty sure he’s already designing a treehouse for them to build.”

Her look went sad. “I’m glad they make you happy. Okay, so you’ll come out when the babies are born?”

“If you’d like me to, I will.” I’d text Cooter about it.

“Even if you’re just there for a day, I’d like that.” She nodded. “Do you want pictures of their room? For now, we’re just going to put all three of them together.”

“I’d like that, thank you. It’s getting late, so I need to get going. Good night,” I told her.

She sent me some photos of a room with three cribs, a changing table, some dressers, and a rocking chair. It was done in pale yellow and blue with a bit of a celestial theme. I sent her the potential dates for visits.

Going out to the kitchen, I saw Gwen working away on her laptop. I kissed her neck. “Hi. I’ll go back to my room and read; I just wanted to check on you. I didn’t know you were going to make them a lasagna. That’s sweet.”

“I’m just trying to be helpful. Is everything okay?” Gwen took a sip of tea.

Ooh, I’d make myself some tea.

“She wants me to come out when the babies are born, even if it’s quick. There’s a difference between being there when they are born versus the birth, apparently?” I put the kettle on.

“There is. Are you going to go?”

“It’s important to her, so I guess so? I want to see him. It won’t affect my visit around the holidays. I’ll still be there on the dates you need me to be close by,” I promised. Matty had bought her ticket to Vancouver to visit her dads for Christmas and she was nervous.

Gwen tipped her head up. “Thank you. As much as I’d like to think I’m a big girl, I’m afraid of seeing my family. Knowing you’re just a ride on the ultra-bullet away helps if I need to climb out the window.”

Or if I needed to retrieve her or beat anyone up.

“After I finish, can we watch an episode of our show? I shouldn’t be too much longer,” she told me.

“Of course we can. Maybe I’ll even make us a snack?” I gave her a kiss.

“I’d like that. Oh, Clark says he’ll come to bed, eventually. His sisters have chainsaw drama or something?” Gwen shrugged.

Chainsaw drama? It probably had to do with their business. Or possibly the one who entered carving competitions?

I made myself tea, then went into my room and settled down with my latest book, which was on the constellations, since Clark was so interested in them.

Finally, there was a tap on the door.

“Homework’s done. I’m ready to watch the show if you aren’t too tired.” Gwen smiled from the doorway.

I put my book down on the nightstand. While I was tired, I wouldn’t turn down some snuggle time on the couch with just her.

“That sounds great.”