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Tenzin

“M y name is Tenzin Brooks. I received a call about Gwen Di Rossi?” My heart sped, as I leaned over the desk in the emergency room of Manhattan General. It stank of fear and sadness, making my belly churn. Please let her be okay.

The woman typed on her computer, then looked up at me. “Identification?”

“What happened?” Worry bubbled up inside of me as I showed her my ID. The entire drive over, all I could consider were worst-case scenarios. Motorcycle accidents could be quite serious.

“Hit-and-run.” Her voice grew soft as she continued to type.

Fuck.

“How badly injured is she? What about Clark?” My heart thudded in my chest. I needed him to be okay, too.

“The doctor will explain everything,” she told me, voice firm. “What’s your relationship to her? Computer’s asking. Alpha? Significant Other? Friend? Extended family?”

“I belong to her.” I hoped Gwen realized that. When she told me she’d felt abandoned, like we were less than friends, it broke my heart.

Just like when Clark had gotten angry with me in the locker room. At least we’d made up a little. Though there was still so much to tell them and I needed to have that chance.

Please give me that chance?

My chest grew tight. I had no idea they felt neglected. If I never got that opportunity…

The woman nodded, as if understanding. She’d probably seen it before. Not everyone’s relationships fit in a nice little government box.

“Please, what about the man with her, Clark Edwards? They were on the motorcycle together.” My heart continued to thud, and I struggled to not destroy everything in anger and frustration.

Someone hit them and left.

Her nails clacked on the keys. “I’m sorry, but you’re not listed as an emergency contact, family member, or packmate, so I can’t give out that information.”

“Oh.” My shoulders drooped.

But I didn’t expect to be his emergency contact. I was surprised I was one of hers.

“He belongs to her as well, in case you need that for your notes. Could you at least tell me if he’s alive?” My voice cracked. Just because I wasn’t ready to chase him down the hall and make him mine, didn’t mean he meant any less to me.

“I can let him know you’re here?” she offered, looking up from the screen.

“I’d like that.” A hint of relief hit me. He was alive. But for how long and how injured was he? There was a good chance this wouldn’t end well.

Oh, how I needed them to be okay.

The noise of the emergency room surrounded us. Ambulance sirens, crying children, doctors calling for things, nurses hurrying back and forth.

“Have a seat in the family waiting room. Someone will be with you soon to update you on Gwen,” she told me.

If Gwen was fine, wouldn’t they send me back to her?

Irritation burned under my skin. I didn’t want to wait for a doctor. What I wanted was for someone to tell me how Gwen was. To lead me to her or Clark, so I could see them with my own eyes.

The receptionist’s look told me that wasn’t happening though.

With a sigh, I headed to the waiting room she indicated, which was separate from the chairs surrounding the info desk. Several people looked at me as I plopped down, spent from the evening’s events.

I waved at a small boy, who watched me, as he played with his toy car. The room was stuffy, the air purifiers not enough to keep the tang of anxiety at bay. The small chairs were hard and uncomfortable--especially since they weren’t made for my six-foot-eight alpha frame.

An accident. After everything that happened tonight, they’d been in an accident . Here I was, not even sure they were okay, when we should all be together, talking everything out.

It pained me that we’d gotten so far off track. To think they might–

“Tens, are they okay?” AJ rushed in with Jonas, both wearing sweats.

I’d texted Jonas as soon as I’d gotten the call from the hospital.

“Clark’s alive. That’s all I know. The doctor will come to talk to me about Gwen.” My heart clenched. “It was a hit-and-run motorcycle accident. I knew that motorcycle was danger–”

“Don’t,” Jonas warned as he plopped down next to me, amber eyes full of concern. “Don’t fall down that hole. Also, this is Gwen and Clark. I’m not sure telling them not to ride a motorcycle would have done anything but make them buy another.”

“True.” Though my heart didn’t unsqueeze. “At least she has a helmet now. When she’d wear his, and he’d ride helmetless…” I shook my head, still struggling to believe that not that long ago I was holding them both, as we celebrated Gwen’s first pro hockey game, Clark’s first goal of the season, and a win against the Motor City Gears.

Now I had no idea what to expect.

Gwen could be fighting for her life right now.

She might not even be alive.

“Jonas is right. After Grif had a terrible motorcycle accident, I blamed myself. After all, I’d bought it for him. But they’re also adults and know the risks. All we can do is hope for the best,” AJ added. “It doesn’t make it any easier when waiting for news though. I’m here. I’ll sit with you as long as you want.”

“Thank you.” I gulped, grateful for their presence.

“We have snacks.” Mercy entered with sacks of what smelled like burgers, along with her older sister, Verity and another Maimer, who I think was named Kaiko.

“Thank you.” I took a drink, unsure if I could eat.

“Can I drop this in the group chat? People will want to know. Also, we need to alert Kylee, in case it hits the press, but I can do it.” Jonas took his phone out of his pocket.

“Please, go ahead. Thank you.”

Right, we should tell the Knights’ PR person. Taking a sip of the drink, I didn’t know what kind it was other than cold.

I texted Cooter to let him know what happened. Who else did I tell? Anyone? It’s not like I knew how to get a hold of Clark and Gwen’s families. Our relationship wasn’t there yet.

Hopefully, I wouldn’t have a reason to.

A guy with long-ish hair and a beaky, crooked nose looked into the room, on the phone. He was well-dressed–maybe a little familiar? I didn’t get a good look at him before he ducked back out.

A few moments later, Celine, Jean-Paul’s wife, came in. JP had been brought into the hospital with food poisoning during the game. I made a mental note to not go to sushi with him and Anders, ever.

Verity gave the brunette beta a hug. They spoke in French, then Verity handed her a burger and a drink.

“Merci.” Celine turned to Jonas. “Jean-Paul will be fine and released in the morning. What about them? I heard about Gwen and Clark.” Her brow furrowed.

“We don’t know.” My shoulders slumped. Uncertainty was the worst.

“I’m just upstairs with Jean-Paul if you need me. I don’t know Clark well, but I adore Gwen.” She left with her food.

Dean and Grif joined us.

“The nurses kicked us out of JP's room since it’s not visiting hours.” Dean picked up a burger. “I’m so sorry, Bucket. I hope they’re okay.”

“Me, too. Ladybug played one amazing game tonight.” Grif sat and pulled Dean to him, which was funny, because they were both enormous men and these were small chairs.

Carlos and Dimitri arrived, also bearing food. The little kid was watching Carlos, who went over to and spoke to him.

Finally, a doctor came in. “I’m looking for the family of Clark Edwards?”

I shot up out of the chair. “We’re here.”

The doctor was giving me information? Good news, I hoped.

She looked around the room. “You’re… wow… I only caught bits of the game, but that was one crazy opener. I knew the Yeti was waiting. I wasn’t expecting so many of you.”

“Is he okay?” I pressed, my alpha clawing at me with worry.

“It could have been so much worse, especially since the only protective gear they had was helmets. Clark has some cracked ribs, a stable wrist fracture, and cuts and bruises. He’ll be okay. We might even release him tonight,” she told us.

“Okay. Can I see him?” That was a relief. I’d expected the worst.

“Soon, I hope. He’s asking for you and said I could talk to you. Thank you.” She went to leave.

“What about Gwen? She was on the motorcycle with him. Why won’t anyone tell me if she’s okay?” I grimaced, wondering what I could have done differently.

Her expression went sympathetic. “She’s with a different doctor. I’m sure someone will come soon.”

“Thanks.” She left.

AJ squeezed my shoulder. “We’re right here.”

For that, I was grateful.

I slumped in the chair, imagining scenarios. Like she was in surgery.

Or worse.

We continued to wait, people coming and going. No one came to tell me about Gwen. Maybe I should go find her?

I could find her.

I needed to find her.

“Tenzin Brooks?” a doctor finally said.

“Please tell me you have news about Gwen?” I jumped to my feet, anxious at his worried look.

He nodded and took me to the side of the room. “She has a broken nose and some very severe bruising. She also has a concussion. We need to take a better look at her hip as well.”

Those didn’t seem so bad. However, his serious expression made my anxiety spike.

“Is she on Trevadol or Abenderin? Does she take Ceretezine?” he added.

“She was taking something for anxiety over the summer, but it wasn’t Trevadol.” I remember her sharing that with me after one of her visits to the campus clinic’s therapist. Why was he asking me? This should all be in her medical record in her file, even if she got it from her university.

Ceretezine wasn’t even for people.

“I see. Have you noticed her consuming a lot of citrus?” He looked at the tablet in his hand.

I frowned. What a strange question. “Does lime soda count?”

“No. Lemonade? Does she eat a lot of oranges? Put lemons in her water?” he prodded.

“No.” While I’d seen her eat the occasional apple or orange and squeeze a lemon wedge on her fish, I wouldn’t classify it as a lot. Come to think of it, I never saw her eat much fruit.

He nodded. “I see. Does she take a lot of over-the-counter cold, allergy, or sinus medicine?”

“Um, no.” What sort of questions were these?

The man with the crooked nose stood next to me. “I’m Lenny, Gwen’s brother.”

Gwen’s brother? He looked familiar but wasn’t the one I’d met at Jean-Paul’s wedding.

“She has a lot of bruises all over her body. While some are from the accident, some are clearly older.” The doctor scowled at me.

“She’s a hockey goalie, ” I told him. “They get bruises. She plays for NYIT and practices with us Knights. If you want confirmation, Jean-Paul is upstairs for food poisoning, and Double D’s right here. They’re goalies with her and can tell you all about goalie life.”

We didn’t cause those bruises. Though I understood them wanting to check on her, especially given her hospital visit due to her ex would be in her file.

“What’s going on? Is she freaking out? She hates hospitals. If she’s freaking out, someone needs to be with her,” Lenny demanded, scowling.

“Can I see her?” I pressed, my alpha unhappy at not being by her side.

A voice echoed over the speaker.

The doctor looked startled. “I have to go.”

My heart dropped. “I’ll be right here.” I turned to Lenny as I mentally placed him. “Lenny? The one she sells things to. I saw you with her at Tito’s tonight.”

“The one and only. I might as well be her brother. I’m in town for work. Saw her game.” He looked me up and down. “Hope you’re better than that asshole, Austin. Glad you beat the shit out of him tonight.”

“You know who he is?” I frowned, my hurt returning at her not telling me that Austin was Bronson Deloitte.

“Who do you think found him for her?” His phone rang. “I’ll be back.” He left the room, speaking in rapid Italian.

I sat back down and updated everyone, still unhappy that I wasn’t with her.

“He wanted to know if she was on Trevadol, Abenderin, or Ceretezine. Ceretezine’s for horses,” I told AJ. It was so odd.

“Abenderin is a heart drug,” AJ replied. “One of my dads is on it.”

Grif rubbed his beard. “Trevadol is an anxiety medication that can fuck up basic designation tests. I used it for a while to help hide as a beta. There’s a way to use Abenderin to give a false beta reading. I never did.”

Verity joined us, leaning on her pink forearm crutch. “Ceretezine is a party drug. At least it is where I’m from.”

“ Why? ” I made a face.

“It’s cheap and easy to get when you want something stronger than legal recreationals,” she told us. “Also, it doesn’t show up on collegiate sports drug tests. At least it didn’t when I was at university. They might test for it now.”

Dean looked up from his phone. “My friend, who works for the Omega Center, says some of the kids are using a cocktail of cold medicine, lemon juice, and Ceretezine as a makeshift heavy-duty blocker to hide their omega, because it’s cheaper and easier to get than the underground shit. It’s really dangerous and easy for them to overdose, ruin their kidneys, or have other problems.”

“I don’t want to know how someone figured that one out.” Grif grimaced and pulled Dean to him.

Oh. Now the questions made sense. They were wondering if she was an omega hiding her designation.

“Is Gwen…” Jonas didn’t finish, looking thoughtful.

“No. It’s so much more complicated than that.” I shook my head and sighed.

“She’s…” Dimitri used a word in Russian I didn’t know. “Isn’t she? There’s an undertone in her scent that reminds me of my mamochka after my mama passed. They were scent matches.”

Oh.

His brow furrowed. “Though Bozh’ya Korovka is a beta. My mamochka, she was an omega, my mama, an alpha.” His look became sad as his head bowed.

“I’m so sorry for your losses.” Some omegas never recovered from losing their alphas, especially those who’d mated their scent matches.

Dean frowned, still on his phone. “Dimitri, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Though Gwen is the omegaest beta I’ve ever met. I know she swears she’s not an omega or gamma, but sometimes…”

“It’s not my story to tell.” I rubbed my forehead. Dimitri knew Gwen had lost her soulmate? But then he was observant—and it wasn’t really my place to let anyone else know what happened at the lake house.

If the doctors were asking if she was a hidden omega, without asking if she was a hidden omega, something was very wrong.

“I’m guessing what she needs is you or Clark. Or both.” Dean’s brow furrowed with worry. He wore plaid pajama pants and a hoodie.

“What do I do? Storm in and demand to see her? I don’t even know where she is. I hate feeling helpless.” Putting my head in my hands, defeat coated me. What sort of alpha was I?

“Who’s the guy? I think he was talking to Gwen in Tito’s,” Jonas added.

“Her brother’s best friend. He’s in town for business. I’m not even sure how he knew she was here. But maybe he’s one of her emergency contacts, too.” I glanced at my phone and saw I had a lot of texts, including Cooter.

Cooter

Fuck. She was fucking on tonight. Update?

I went outside the waiting room and called him. Lenny was nowhere to be seen. But Jonas came out and started talking to Kylee on his phone. I was grateful he was willing to handle this. I didn’t want to worry about the PR implications of their accident, because I needed to focus on them.

When I returned to the waiting room, Carlos had attracted several children. He was telling them a story in both Spanish and English. AJ held a sleepy Verity.

All I could do was pace, hoping for an update on either.

“Carlos is very good with children,” I said to no one in particular.

“Carlos plays a character on a popular show for little kids and we all pretend not to notice,” Jonas told me. “Even though they literally play his signature song when he scores a goal and tons of children refer to him by his character's name.”

“What?” It all sounded just bizarre.

“They do most of their filming during our off-season. He’s been on it since he was a teenager. His sister’s on it, too. When he started with the team, he was so afraid we’d give him shit about it. I think it low-key drives him crazy that most of us don’t acknowledge it,” Dean added.

“What’s even funnier is that a lot of the MASOs know and have decided to protect him from us, working to keep his secret.” Jonas laughed.

“Though Verity didn’t figure it out until her and Grif’s wedding, when her baby sister saw him and went bananas.” Dean laughed.

Fatigue pressed down on me and I dozed a little, hoping she’d be okay.

A nurse in pink scrubs ran into the room, panicked, startling the other families. “Is Gwen Di Rossi’s alpha here? Tenzin Brooks?”

“Him.” AJ pointed to me.

“What do you need?” Fear shot through me, and I stood. I wasn’t sure I could–or should–claim the title of her alpha. But I was hers and I’d do anything they needed.

“You. ID?” she asked. She was a beta and I could smell the concern in her scent.

“Go, we’ll wait for Clark,” Jonas told me as I showed her my ID.

“We need to hurry.” She took off, and I followed, my heart falling. We went up the elevator, through a small waiting room, and passed a woman behind a desk.

“Alpha for 415,” the beta nurse said as we went into a locked ward with delta security.

Deltas had several similar qualities to alphas. However, they could also be rendered immune to alpha barks if ordered, which made them ideal for military and security positions.

Why was there delta security guarding this ward?

As soon as I stepped into it, something in me relaxed. Probably because it didn’t stink of fear and sickness. It also didn’t look like a hospital, but a hotel lobby.

“She was disrupting the emergency room with her distress, so we moved her up here,” the nurse explained.

A couple of worried alphas sat on a sofa by a cart of drinks and snacks.

“Come on,” she ushered. “Alpha of 415,” she told the person at another desk, and continued moving down a hallway, which again, looked more like a hotel than a hospital.

Most of the rooms had their window curtains closed, though the few that were open looked nice, with couches, tables, and the biggest hospital beds I’d ever seen. Most of the doors had a Ω for omega on a placard by the door, though one had a Γ for gamma .

Oh. We must be in the omega wing. Omegas could be stressed out easily, so most hospitals had rooms that were more home-like and could accommodate a pack. Now the delta security and the locked doors made sense. They were keeping the omegas safe–and making them feel secure, so that they could rest and heal.

The door to the room stood open, the small placard next to the door had ΩΤ. Oh, Omega tau . While she was a tau, the medical designation for shadows, they must still think she was a hidden omega. While I wanted her to have the care she needed, I didn’t want to deceive anyone–and she wouldn’t either.

In the center of the large bed, Gwen lay bruised and battered, with tubes and machines hooked up to her. The room smelled of rotten mint. Her eyes were closed and sweat beaded her scarred forehead, making her chin-length purple hair stick to her face. She was in a gown, not her sparkly suit, and her olive skin held a strange hue.

Another beta nurse held Gwen’s listless hand. She looked up at me, relief in her eyes.

“Oh, good, you found one. Touch her, talk to her. If you’re careful, you can even crawl onto the bed with her. Just reassure her that she’s safe.” She squeezed Gwen’s hand. “Look. we’ve got one of your alphas. That’s going to help you feel so much better.”

“Firecracker, I’m right here.” I removed my jacket and put it on the table. I’d changed out of my sweats before coming but was still just wearing slacks and a sweater.

The nurse moved out of the way as I came over to her. I put my phone on the bed stand, kicked off my shoes, then climbed onto the mattress with her, and held her the best I could with all the equipment.

The nurse handed me a big fuzzy blanket, in plastic, so that it wouldn’t hold any strange scents for sensitive noses. I opened it and covered us with it.

I stroked her hair. “You’re safe. Clark’s going to be okay.”

“Hold her tight. I’ll let the doctor know you’re here.” The nurse left, dimming the lights and closing the door, leaving the curtains of the windows looking out to the hallway open.

“You’re going to be okay, Firecracker. After all, I have so much to tell you.” I planted a kiss on her clammy forehead, which tasted of sweat, grime, and fear. She looked so frail and lifeless and I got comfortable beside her.

I must have dozed off, the click of a door waking me. “Clark?”

“It’s Dr. Alverez. Hi, there. You’re Tenzin?” She checked the different monitors and frowned. “Better, but not good enough.”

This wasn’t the frazzled doctor from earlier. It was an older beta woman with spectacles.

“Yes. Will you please tell me what’s going on?” I pleaded, still holding onto Gwen.

“Gwen’s injuries are relatively minor, given what they could be. The problem is that she’s having a life-threatening spiral, possibly as a trauma response to the accident. Combined with the concussion, it’s an issue. We’ve moved her up here so she feels safe and have given her a couple of medications. But it’s not working fast enough. Hopefully, your presence will help.” Her brow furrowed as she consulted her tablet.

“Spiral? Shit.” Those were when hormone levels dropped dangerously, and bad news, at least in omegas. Especially if you needed medication and not just lots of cuddles, blankets, and tea.

“Indeed. She came to us unconscious, then went into the spiral, versus going unconscious because of the spiral. The longer she stays in it, the less likely she is to regain consciousness, because of her concussion.” Her look stayed grim.

“Oh.” Fear crashed down on me. No. She had to wake up.

She just had to.

“We need to pull her out of the spiral. Quickly, ” the doctor added.

“What do we do?” I needed her to be okay.

“Keep holding her. Her feeling safe and cared for is going to be the biggest help. Her tox screen came back negative for Ceretezine, so we can try a different medication. We couldn’t risk it before. We’re monitoring her heart and breathing and giving her fluids and electrolytes since she was a bit dehydrated. What is she taking to hide her designation? It’s some good stuff.” The doctor checked something on one of the other monitors.

“She’s not a hidden omega. She really is a beta.” I stroked Gwen’s hair, needing the doctor to realize that in case it changed treatment.

“A beta?” Dr. Alvarez frowned. “It’s uncommon for betas to spiral like this.”

“Gwen’s an uncommon beta. She’s a tau. A shadow.” Tau sounded nicer than soulbroke, which until recently was the technical term for someone who’d lost their bonded scent match. Shadow was colloquial, since someone who lost their soulmate could be so consumed with grief they’d just fade into the shadows .

“It’s evident from her scent that she is, even if it’s not in her record. But a beta tau?” The doctor frowned and looked at the monitors again, then tapped on her tablet.

“It is possible. Just rare. Have you heard of dead-matches? Basically, if she’d been an omega, and he’d been an alpha, they would’ve been soulmates. Her beta dead-match died in her arms a few years ago as part of a larger, very traumatic event, in which they bonded, even though dead-matches bonding is uncommon.”

I hated to reveal Gwen’s secrets, but the doctor needed to know and this wasn’t in her file.

She frowned. “Huh. That’s curious.”

“Please continue to treat her? Everything I’ve researched says if she acts like an omega, treat her like one.” I wasn’t about to let her die because of her designation.

Should I mention that once she was illegally given mega-push to make her an omega, and it didn’t work? I wasn’t sure it was in Gwen’s file either.

Maybe? I gave her doctor the briefest version, just in case it affected her treatment.

“Oh, huh?” She looked at Gwen. “Poor dear, you seem to have been through it, haven’t you?” Dr. Alvarez turned back to me. “We’ve called for a bond specialist from the Omega Center, we’ll see what she says. We’re also running another battery of tests. Though regardless of what her designation is, she is in a spiral and I’ll do everything I can to pull her out of it.”

“Thank you. Then what?” I continued touching Gwen, grateful that they wouldn’t stop helping her because she wasn’t an omega.

Please be okay, Firecracker.

Her look went worried as she glanced over at Gwen. “We wait, and hope we can stabilize her before it’s too late.”