Page 63 of Loving Amari

“You’re all safe now,” she says through her sobs, her voice breaking.

Tofi, Noki, Moria, and Kemnebi all rush toward her from different directions, but they hit the same web. They claw at it in frustration, their legs scraping against the barrier with sounds that tear at my heart. They’re desperate, frantic, unable to understand why they can’t reach their mother.

“No, babies, no more limbo. Your job is done.” Her voice breaks completely. “I need you to stay here and protect Daddy and Wintermoon.”

Images flash from them. I can see it in their movements, in the way they communicate. They’re pleading with her to come home, showing her memories of their family together.

“I can’t, not yet. It has to be for a time and I don’t know how long. Just know that I love you all.” Tears stream down her face endlessly.

I fight back my own tears, but it’s a losing battle. “You have no idea how proud I am of you, beautiful Carla, my SpiderQueen, my Guardian of Realms. I’m so proud to have you as my woman.”

Carla starts sobbing uncontrollably, her face crumpling. “Shut up.”

I laugh through my tears, one finally escaping to roll down my cheek. “I love you.”

“I don’t want to go,” she cries, her whole body shaking with the force of her sobs.

“Go. We’ll be here, waiting for you.” My voice doesn’t shake despite the tears. “My loyalty to you won’t waver. I love you so much, Carla, baby.”

She puts her hand against the web shield. I do the same immediately, placing mine against where her hand rests. Our palms line up perfectly, separated only by the barrier. I can’t feel her. She’s still sobbing, her tears endless.

“Go. Go, baby,” I whisper, even though it’s killing me to say it.

She looks at her children, her face twisted with agony. “I love you.”

She looks at me, her eyes meeting mine one last time. In them, I see everything we’ve been through. Every fight. Every laugh. Every moment of love. “I love you.”

Then she disappears, fading away like light dissolving into darkness. One moment she’s there, solid and real. The next, she’s gone. The shield breaks, vanishing into nothing.

I fall to my knees, my legs giving out. She’s gone. My woman is gone.

I break down in a fit of crying, my body shaking with sobs I can’t control. The pain is worse than anything I’ve ever felt. Worse than losing my civilization. Worse than centuries of loneliness. The spider children surround me, shielding me from the world with their bodies, sharing in the agony we all feel.

She’s gone.

And we don’t know when she’ll come back.

If she’ll come back.

21

AMARI

One month later

Iwalk with Torin through the academy, heading for the technology center. The halls are bright with afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows.

“I can’t believe I was possessed,” Torin says, shaking his head. “I don’t remember any of it.”

“It’s good that you didn’t,” I tell him.

He shrugs, his sandy locs bouncing with the movement. “I’m really sorry about Carla.”

The words sting my still-beating heart, but I maintain my posture, adjusting my suit. “It’s not forever. For a time.”

“Yeah, but still...”

“And the great thing about being a vampire is I have immortality to wait for her.” I force a smile.