Page 46 of Lovetown, USA

Column

The Truth About Men. Or Maybe Just Me.

By Trey Montgomery

I’ve spent some time thinking about why men lie, why we withhold the truth, and why we often fail the people we love most. I want to be honest here, and to say this publicly, not because I’m proud of it, but because I need to take responsibility.

Men lie for many reasons, too many to name here, but I’ll tell you why I did. It’s cowardice, for one. I was afraid of the consequences of my honesty. But also, sexism. I didn’t trust that the woman I loved would have the “right” reaction to my confession.

And isn’t that layer upon layer of sexism? Because why would I be the arbiter of rightness and not her?

The regret I feel over what I did to that woman is overwhelming. I know I can’t erase the hurt I caused her, but I wanted to explain my actions. The worst thing a man can ever do is break a woman’s trust, but we do. Every day. For our own selfish reasons.

At what point do we figure out we’re the problem?

I carry this weight with me every day. As I should. Lane Washington is her name, and she’s extraordinary. I made a generational fumble when I lied to her, and now I’m paying for it. Again, as I should.

Some might even call this op-ed a selfish manipulation. Maybe it is, I don’t know. Paying for space in the magazine she works for. I like to think it's noble, but it’s hard to untangle years of self-serving behavior. Where does this man shit end and where do I begin?

I don’t know.

But I know this: I love her, and I’m willing to fight for the rest of my life to get her back. And I vow to do better. To be better. Because some things, and people, are worth the fight.