Page 28 of Lovetown, USA

Column

Captain’s Log: I Remain Stuck in Lovetown

By Lane Washington

Remember David? My bingo-winning counterpart?

We went out.

On a date.

It was sponsored, of course. Tasty. Company wasn’t terrible.

But I learned something interesting about our little town here.

First things first, though. The date ended at Lover’s Bluff.

Yes, you read that right. Those little spots teenagers used to visit to make out on sitcoms in the late 1900s? They’re real. Well, in Lovetown, that is. And guys, it’s so deliberately curated to be what it is. I even saw a condom dispenser on the way out.

But I digress.

Another lovely meal was had at Lover’s Bluff, then David took me home. Not a bad evening, all told, but my biggest takeaway? Discovering Lovetown’s tax break for those who marry within three years of establishing permanent residence.

I’ll let you chew on that.

Dr. Handsome is still hanging in there. Still questionable. Still slick. The man baked me fresh-baked blueberry muffins, y’all, then he took me to Lovers on the Lawn for a screening of The Notebook . He’s laying it on kinda thick, right?

Speaking of thick…there’s this woman. We’ll call her Jazz. Absolutely gorgeous, and genuine to boot. To say I enjoyed her company would be an understatement. No agenda there, just friendship and fun. Good fun.

In my mind, there’s something brewing. A thought. An idea, maybe. I’m on the right track with my de facto investigation, but I think I’m also learning some things about myself in the process. As always, stay tuned.