Page 26

We pulled up to the house, which was located in the Hollywood Hills late afternoon, sun just startin’ to cool off the sky. Soon as I stepped out the truck and caught a glimpse of the crib, I knew Cory understood the assignment.

Clean lines, neutral tones, privacy and most importantly, space.

The backyard looked like a music video. Pool, hot tub, firepit, string lights over elegant ass seating.

A BBQ setup that’d make my mama jealous.

Inside was just as dope—modern, warm, and laid-back.

There was a chef’s kitchen, spa-style bath, rooms for Cory and Zay, and an enormous master bedroom suite which I was definitely claiming for myself.

I dropped my bags upstairs in the master and called up Nas. We had been communicating a lot since I met the crew. He checked on me a lot after the news broke about King and I appreciated that from him.

He answered on the second ring. “Yo!”

“What’s good, my boy? I’m in yo’ city.”

Nas laughed. “Damn, you don’t waste time. You tryna link?”

“Perch tonight?”

“Say less. I’ll meet you there.”

The night had that perfect kind of chill—cool enough to keep the air crisp but warm enough to still be out on a rooftop. Downtown lights flickered below us like they knew somebody important had just touched down.

I leaned back into the booth at Perch, city skyline stretched out like a backdrop in a music video, nursing a Henny neat while waitin’ on Nasseem. Felt like the world had kept moving while I was stuck somewhere between rage and regret.

When he finally walked up, I stood to dap him up. “My guy,” I said, clapping hands and pulling him in for a half-hug.

“Royal fuckin’’ Teegan,” he grinned. “Back in LA like you ain’t just burned down the internet last month.”

I smirked, dropping back into my seat. “You know I had to make a lil' noise. Ain’t no fun in movin’ quiet no more.”

He slid into the seat across from me. “You been good?”

“I’m doing as good as can be expected,” I muttered. “Just tryna stay out the bullshit honestly.”

“Yeah, I heard some of the bullshit still found you.”

I chuckled dryly, rubbing my hand over my face. “Too much of it.”

A server came by to take our orders—I got the braised short ribs and truffle fries with garlic butter, he got the salmon with saffron rice, then we were alone again under the hum of rooftop jazz and low lighting.

“I been hearin’ about what you been workin’ on. Westlake Ave is dope as fuck.” Nasseem said. “That album’s lookin’ like it’s gonna shake shit up.”

“Appreciate that,” I nodded. “Put my whole heart in that shit.”

He glanced at me, reading deeper than I wanted him to. “And what about that other shit? You fixin’ that too?”

I knew what he meant. I hesitated before answering, looking out at the skyline like it had answers for me. “She don’t know I’m out here.”

He raised an eyebrow. “She don’t?”

“Nah. I ain’t say nothin’. I wanted to get my business right before I even think about showing up talkin’ slick.”

Nas sipped his drink slowly, eyes on me the whole time. “That why you asked me out here? To check the temperature?”

“Nah,” I shrugged. “I fuck with you. Real recognize real. Just figured if anybody had eyes on her, it’d be you.”

He leaned back, folded his arms. “Averi’s…

man, she surviving. But she ain’t really there, you feel me?

” I didn’t answer, but I felt my jaw lock up.

“She show up when the crew link up,” he continued.

“But it’s like—her body be in the room, but her soul somewhere else, you feel me?

Ain’t the same Ave. You ask if she good?

She’ll say yeah, but that ‘yeah’ got silence behind it.

” I stared down at my drink, suddenly not as interested in finishing it.

“She don’t bring you up,” he added after a beat.

“But she don’t got to. You in every room she step in. Just not the way you supposed to be.”

That shit cut deeper than it should’ve. I clenched the glass tighter and nodded.

“She got every right to hate me,” I said. “I gave her hell… then pushed her away when she was the only peace I had.”

Nasseem tilted his head. “You still want her?”

I didn’t even hesitate. “Yeah.”

“Then what the fuck you waitin’ on?”

I exhaled, long and slow. “Timing. I ain’t wanna show up broken, and I damn sure didn’t wanna show up empty-handed.

” He nodded slowly, understanding without pushin’.

That’s what I respected about Nas—he ain’t press, he just let the truth rise up.

“She deserves somethin’ real,” I added. “Not whatever the fuck I was when I told her to leave.”

Nasseem cracked a dry smile. “She’s strong, but she soft too.

You were her soft place. You just forgot how much that meant.

” We fell quiet for a minute as the server brought our food, the smell of truffle fries and garlic butter filling the air.

After a few bites, he asked, “So what’s the play now? ”

I leaned forward. “Get my team straight. Handle this business. Then maybe… figure out how to face her again. For real.”

“Don’t wait too long,” he warned. “Ain’t nothin’ worse than lettin’ a good woman walk ‘cause yo ego got you in a chokehold.”

I cracked a small smile, nodding. “You sound like you got some experience in that?”

He chuckled shaking his head. “Nah my boy, I’m single for life.”

“No but for real, I hear you,” I said. “Loud and clear.”

Two days later I found myself pulling up to T one I was glad I made. Being back in the studio felt… right. Like I could breathe again.

Just me, Zay, and the engineer. The mic was hot, and the lights were low. I pulled out the notepad I’d scribbled in on the plane and took a deep breath.

5AM and the silence hittin’ different now,

I keep hearin’ your laugh echo through this empty house.

You was my shadow, my right hand, my day one,

Now I’m talkin’ to your picture like it’s gon' say somethin’.

If I was there, maybe we both would’ve stood tall...

But maybe we both would’ve just took the fall.

I been tryna drown the pain with the loud and the liquor,

But the flashbacks hit me quicker than the trigger.

Wish I could trade places, give you one more sunrise,

One more chain, one more toast, one more ride.

But all I got is regrets and this beat on loop,

Writin' eulogies in verses, just me in the booth.

This was going to be track 12 on my album.

The song was called, 5AM . It was raw, honest and filled with a quiet pain.

I poured everything into it. Every bar, every line, every beat of my heart that I hadn’t let myself feel in weeks.

When the playback hit, I closed my eyes and let it wrap around me.

This wasn’t just another track. It was my tribute to my big brother the best way I knew how.